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Ask HN: ”Coffee date” etiquette

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Re: Ask HN: ”Coffee date” etiquette

#51
post #25

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Darn. Never touched coffee myself. People always seem surprised especially when they discover I'm a developer.

We can assume you don't get enough sleep like the rest of us. What are you using then, soda?

I don't drink coffee either. I drink water and unsweetened iced tea. That's about the only things that I drink that is non alcoholic.

Re: Ask HN: ”Coffee date” etiquette

#52

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Chocolate of course has theobromine, similar to caffeine with similar effects. Cheese? Any idea why that might be similar?

Maybe the common thing that is irritating him is the milk products in Cheese, Coffee and Chocolate.

An interesting hypothesis, undermined if the coffee was black.

Re: Ask HN: ”Coffee date” etiquette

#53
There is the concept of an informational interview -- meeting over coffee to ask about a person's job/industry/company -- but that is distinct from meeting a hiring manager. It may be as effective in the job hunt, although it is not as direct. Consider it, though, as it may be more informative to talk to someone who does a job you'd like to do at a company you're interested in. If that person then recommends you to the hiring manager, you're in a nice position.

Re: Ask HN: ”Coffee date” etiquette

#54
I don't want to speak for patio11 or anyone else, but "meeting over a cup of coffee" shouldn't be thought of as "a way to get a good job", at least directly. It's not a replacement for the interview process, anyway, at least at any place of employment that won't fit into a single meeting room. Instead, it's (a) a social occasion where you can (at least pretend) to (b) learn about the employer or industry. (b) is as in, "what would I need to learn or do to be an interesting employment prospect".

For (a), an introduction from someone you mutually know would be best, but theoretically, a cold-call to the tune of, "I would like to know more about X and Y, would you have a few minutes to talk to me," would be appropriate.

Re: Ask HN: ”Coffee date” etiquette

#55

How common is it to have a peer who can introduce you to a hiring manager? I have plenty of friends, and none can get me a meeting with a hiring manager at a good company. Most of my friends are unemployed or working at Panera Bread. Any advice?

> How common is it to have a peer who can introduce you to a hiring manager?

I haven't gotten a job in the last... six or seven years without an introduction.

> Most of my friends are unemployed or working at Panera Bread.

Only one of my friends - as in, someone I'd meet for a pint - works in my field. Don't sweat that.

But I've got plenty of other developers I keep in touch with to varying degrees.

> Any advice?

Make a list of every person you've worked with in the past, or work with right now. Ask yourself one simple question: if you were sitting in your office and your manager walked in and says "Hey normloman, I just got foobar's resume, and you used to work with them! Are they any good?"

If your answer wouldn't be immediately "hell yeah!", cross their name off the list. Don't hedge, don't equivocate.

Now you've got a list of people that you trust, and if you're a decent worker, odds are most of them feel the same way about you.

The next time you're looking to switch jobs, pull out that list. Send each one of them a quick email/Linkedin/Facebook message/text/whatever that just says "hey, I'm looking to make a change, do you know anyone that's hiring?"

That's pretty much it. And be available for anyone that asks you the same question, because you gotta keep your karma in check ;-)

Re: Ask HN: ”Coffee date” etiquette

#56

Earlier quoted context omitted.

You can learn a lot about someone's coffee habits. How much sugar, how much milk. How much... whiskey.

So it turns out I love espresso, but I don't drink alcohol. Does that put me in the "freak of nature" category?

No. You're wonderful. But... don't tell anybody we said that.

Re: Ask HN: ”Coffee date” etiquette

#59
The normal way to do it is just to drop an email to a relevant person, set a context and ask if they'd be willing to meet for coffee.

Although if you already know someone in common you could do it more casually (i.e. join them for after work drinks).

Re: Ask HN: ”Coffee date” etiquette

#60

I always give the same answer to questions regarding social etiquette/propriety: just be normal. Seriously, you're overthinking it. Just be a normal person. Make people comfortable, help them get what they want, and smile. That's all you need. If you think something is weird, it probably is, purely because you'll make it weird by thinking that. Would you want to go on a coffee date with someone who was worried it was…

Great advice!

I’ve seen PG/YC recommend How to Win Friends and Influence People from time to time, so I should probably get myself a copy.

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