Jesus Christ. Is it only Texans and the South that know how to raise a gentleman these days?
How about we just meet somewhere in the middle of "rushing to open the car door for her" and sexual groping?
This is What it's Like to Be a Woman at a Bitcoin Meetup
51–60 of 317 posts
Re: This is What it's Like to Be a Woman at a Bitcoin Meetup
#52I agree wholeheartedly with this article, however I don't think it's fair to use such a wide brush. "This is What it's Like to Be a Woman at _This_ Bitcoin Meetup" would have been more appropriate. There are bad apples in every community, and it certainly sounds like the author met some, but it's important to realize that a few bad apples don't ruin the whole bushel.
How many more posts like this are needed to convince you that the whole community of tech meetups is hostile towards women? Of course that individual deserves the lion's share of the blame, but writing this off as an isolated individual acting inappropriately misses the forest for the trees (i.e. misses the root cause [culture] for the proximate cause [assholes]). To further analogize, perhaps the bad apple was there…
I think that says more about the Bitcoin community than it does anything about the tech community, though. I imagine the average Bitcoin user as more a fedora-toting internet troll than a crypto-enthusiast. If you look at various cryptocurrency forums, the average user barely knows anything about computers, has little interest in learning more, and just wants someone to hold their hand through the process of getting loads of money off their parent's/school's/employer's electricity. It's totally unsurprising to me that the kind of person this attracts would start imagining themself as some kind of sleezeball investor on top of the world ("can I buy your affection, milady?") just because they're speculating on a couple hundred dollars of cryptocurrency.
Re: This is What it's Like to Be a Woman at a Bitcoin Meetup
#53I agree wholeheartedly with this article, however I don't think it's fair to use such a wide brush. "This is What it's Like to Be a Woman at _This_ Bitcoin Meetup" would have been more appropriate. There are bad apples in every community, and it certainly sounds like the author met some, but it's important to realize that a few bad apples don't ruin the whole bushel.
How many more posts like this are needed to convince you that the whole community of tech meetups is hostile towards women? Of course that individual deserves the lion's share of the blame, but writing this off as an isolated individual acting inappropriately misses the forest for the trees (i.e. misses the root cause [culture] for the proximate cause [assholes]). To further analogize, perhaps the bad apple was there…
When did we all start agreeing that some amorphous force called 'culture' is out there compelling individuals to act badly?
It seems like an extremely convenient gremlin. It can mean almost anything in any context and can act as both a sink and a fountain for blame.
Re: This is What it's Like to Be a Woman at a Bitcoin Meetup
#54Earlier quoted context omitted.
I'm really turned off by these posts, too. I roll my eyes and mutter "Christ, not another one". But I'm a male who doesn't have to worry about being groped and I keep my hands to myself. But let me guess how the reality turns out for her: - She says something about it. - The guy who is misbehaving is probably physically bigger than her. She may feel fearful of speaking up. or - She speaks up and gets called a "prude"…
disclaimer: I'm on her side. I've never really understood the potential-physical-confrontation argument. It must be a very, very small minority of men who's first reaction to being embarrassed and shamed by a woman is to physically assault her in public?
Well, how about this analogy--you see a really beautiful girl and you try to hit on her. You're not afraid she'll throw her drink in your face, because most beautiful girls would never do such a thing, but wow, she's really drop-dead gorgeous and you don't know how to handle yourself and you find yourself getting really, really tongue-tied.
It's like that for women confronting large men, except without the happy butterflies in your stomach.
Re: This is What it's Like to Be a Woman at a Bitcoin Meetup
#55Earlier quoted context omitted.
disclaimer: I'm on her side. I've never really understood the potential-physical-confrontation argument. It must be a very, very small minority of men who's first reaction to being embarrassed and shamed by a woman is to physically assault her in public?
Then again, what kind of person gropes a stranger, in public, in front of a bunch of people who are sure to see and know who you are? You really can't put anything past someone who has absolutely no restraint or regard for people.
I would agree that the men who would hit a woman would almost exclusively fall in to the group who would grope them and say inappropriate things to them. However, I know way more otherwise well-socially-adjusted men who would make sexist comments but would never hit a woman.
Re: This is What it's Like to Be a Woman at a Bitcoin Meetup
#56If nobody bothers to challenge or set boundaries with cretins like this, how will the situation ever change? I don't think this is a situation where you'd have to fear for your safety for showing a little bit of a spine. It's not as if people who are socially retarded enough to think that behavior is okay will change without negative repercussions for their actions.
Re: This is What it's Like to Be a Woman at a Bitcoin Meetup
#57> In my mind, it’s a little preposterous that if I want to do so, however, I have to be ok with being felt up and indirectly insulted. To the author: You're right, it's unacceptable but you know how to fix it? You say something at the point in which it occurs. Nip it in the bud. Running off to write yet another gender-division-in-the-tech-world blog which will be read, primarily, by the sort of folk who already agree…
I'm really turned off by these posts, too. I roll my eyes and mutter "Christ, not another one". But I'm a male who doesn't have to worry about being groped and I keep my hands to myself. But let me guess how the reality turns out for her: - She says something about it. - The guy who is misbehaving is probably physically bigger than her. She may feel fearful of speaking up. or - She speaks up and gets called a "prude"…
Spot on response. It's pretty absurd the number of people whose knee jerk reaction is some variant on "deal with it the way a man would". That line of thinking is so screwed up on so many levels to be absurd.
Re: This is What it's Like to Be a Woman at a Bitcoin Meetup
#58> In my mind, it’s a little preposterous that if I want to do so, however, I have to be ok with being felt up and indirectly insulted. To the author: You're right, it's unacceptable but you know how to fix it? You say something at the point in which it occurs. Nip it in the bud. Running off to write yet another gender-division-in-the-tech-world blog which will be read, primarily, by the sort of folk who already agree…
What exactly do you want her to say? "Hi, stop being a dick, because this kind of behavior is a serious turn off to women who want to be involved in tech?" That's obviously not going to fly. So what about, "Hi, could you not awkwardly hug me?" What people say in response to that is, "Why are you being mean to me? I was just trying to be friendly." It's extremely hard to say something in the moment without getting ste…
Not a woman, but perhaps something like "This is much too forward of you", in a disapproving tone. Nothing makes me quickly reconsider my actions like this words, even if it turns out she was kidding.
It provides the suggestion that if he proceeded differently, there might be a chance, but if he continues this way there is not. That suggestion might be enough to restore at least a semblance of normal interaction?
Re: This is What it's Like to Be a Woman at a Bitcoin Meetup
#59I agree wholeheartedly with this article, however I don't think it's fair to use such a wide brush. "This is What it's Like to Be a Woman at _This_ Bitcoin Meetup" would have been more appropriate. There are bad apples in every community, and it certainly sounds like the author met some, but it's important to realize that a few bad apples don't ruin the whole bushel.
How many more posts like this are needed to convince you that the whole community of tech meetups is hostile towards women? Of course that individual deserves the lion's share of the blame, but writing this off as an isolated individual acting inappropriately misses the forest for the trees (i.e. misses the root cause [culture] for the proximate cause [assholes]). To further analogize, perhaps the bad apple was there…
[deleted]
Re: This is What it's Like to Be a Woman at a Bitcoin Meetup
#60Maybe it isn't related to Bitcoin and Tech so much as it is related to, say, USA and SF?
Because I can't imagine such stories materialize in other places (of developed word and large parts of developing world either).
You just seem to have enough peculiar traits from both gender sides for a perfect storm.