Yeah, sure, "friend."
I'm curious where you're from. Who refers to people as "25Y old male?"
25Y Male making over $250K+ annually. Still stuck. Help?
51–60 of 86 posts
Re: 25Y Male making over $250K+ annually. Still stuck. Help?
#52Nothing wrong with staying hungry in his professional life. At his age, no matter how successful you are, you should always try to reach the next level. As long as he is happy with other parts of his life i.e family. Nobody should be satisfied with their career/life at age 25 but he has the luxury to balance it with what his household income is at the moment.
Re: 25Y Male making over $250K+ annually. Still stuck. Help?
#53What are you trying to fix?
Is he supposed to just accept a mediocre wage-slave existence and settle into obscurity?
That works for some, but if he wants to strive for more, let him.
Re: 25Y Male making over $250K+ annually. Still stuck. Help?
#54Save money like crazy, then retire into a part-time job and do whatever you want. Pick some hobbies or ambitions and work on those. It's not about making enough money to demonstrate your status and live a life of ease, it's about making enough money to be free from having to do work you don't want to. Build a home shop, lab, recording studio into your house. Buy a yacht to sail around the world with. Spend your time climbing mountains, hiking trails, or even just going to the theater or the symphony. Also, think about getting involved with a non-profit or a charity when transitioning into that part-time pseudo-retirement.
Re: 25Y Male making over $250K+ annually. Still stuck. Help?
#55He doesn't understand how to be happy or satisfied. He needs a therapist. I think most people do, they underestimate the value of having an independent sounding board to help work through these kinds of feelings. His expectations are either unrealistic, or he's surrounded by people who are always doing better, despite him doing well, which makes him seem like a failure. He has the luxury of those feelings. Silicon Va…
Best advise I've seen on the internet.
Re: 25Y Male making over $250K+ annually. Still stuck. Help?
#56He doesn't understand how to be happy or satisfied. He needs a therapist. I think most people do, they underestimate the value of having an independent sounding board to help work through these kinds of feelings. His expectations are either unrealistic, or he's surrounded by people who are always doing better, despite him doing well, which makes him seem like a failure. He has the luxury of those feelings. Silicon Va…
A therapist is probably needed, but after reading some of frankphillips's further comments in this thread, I was also left thinking a long chat with a financial planner may be in order.
Re: 25Y Male making over $250K+ annually. Still stuck. Help?
#57What he needs is the "big picture".
This can be acquired in several ways, depending on the personality of the person, from what I have seen.
So a few different things:
Recently, I saw a good talk by MindValley CEO, http://www.mindvalley.com/goal-setting-redefined#sthash.aYjq...
Basically, the mind is what feels "stuck" or anything for that matter, so anything you can do to calm the mind will help you to see a change. The time-tested approach is Meditation.
Another one, thinking and doing something for others beyond your immediate family without any returns - whether it is for those in your community or the other side of the world.
Hope this helps.
Re: 25Y Male making over $250K+ annually. Still stuck. Help?
#58He doesn't understand how to be happy or satisfied. He needs a therapist. I think most people do, they underestimate the value of having an independent sounding board to help work through these kinds of feelings. His expectations are either unrealistic, or he's surrounded by people who are always doing better, despite him doing well, which makes him seem like a failure. He has the luxury of those feelings. Silicon Va…
Agreed. I look forward to the day when twice-yearly visits to a therapist are as socially-accepted and -expected as visits to the dentist. Your brain, like your teeth or your car, needs regular servicing by a professional if you want optimal performance and want to avoid costly repairs.
> Your brain, like your teeth or your car, needs regular servicing by a professional if you want optimal performance and want to avoid costly repairs.
I don't know that I agree. I was fortunate to be raised by incredible parents. I emerged extremely well-adjusted and prepared for adulthood. I am not saying I never benefit from a counselor or therapist. There have been times I have visited each for help and advice, or even just to get an outside evaluation about something. But I do not need to go regularly like I would to the dentist. That's not being arrogant, that's just knowing myself.
Your brain needs regular exercise, sure. But I think it is more analogous to physical exercise than something like the dentist. I agree that most people could benefit from having a regular appointment with a physical trainer, but many people are well-equipped to be their own trainer, at least for the purpose of staying healthy and happy. I think the same is true of mental health.
Re: 25Y Male making over $250K+ annually. Still stuck. Help?
#59I deal with this concern myself, and the answer I've been mulling over recently is related to the Big Fish In A Small Pond analogy. (In fact, I think of it in the same terms as your friend: winning my freedom) In the Bay Area, things are very expensive and its hard to put money away, and its also hard to feel like "you've won" because other folks are so dramatically more successful than you. However, after visiting h…
> Stop working for 3 years or so, enjoy that 3 years of freedom. Build something, maybe it will take off.
The more cash and runway you have to build something, the more cash and runway you'll use. This is not necessarily a good thing. It could lead to over-engineering, a feeling of security which keeps you from talking to users early enough, and just a lot of potential for wasting time and money in quantities you would otherwise not be comfortable with.
If you spend 3 years time and all of your savings and don't succeed, you may become further depressed and your project derailed.
FWIW, I'd suggest starting a project on the side and continuing to make incremental progress. It's hard, and doesn't always feel good, but the pressure and lack of time will push you to make things happen faster and get creative.
Re: 25Y Male making over $250K+ annually. Still stuck. Help?
#60I don't get this rush to have a full blown family in your early/mid twenties. I was terrified of having children in my twenties and just enjoyed travelling and hanging out with friends and not be tied down with such responsibilities. Now in my mid thirties I don't have this void feeling inside and ready for whatever my current long term relationship brings about.