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How I Beat Depression

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Re: How I Beat Depression

#51
post #37

Hello, Can anyone provide any advice on how to help a friend through depression? I met this friend about a month and half ago and he recently opened up to me about his depression. He's been in and out of depression since high school (about three years I think; he is currently on medications and getting help; he's reached out to me first (we're studying abroad in Asia) and I would like to help in anyway possible. My q…

Having a strong social support network is a good foundation for dealing with depression. My best advice to you is just be available for when he wants to talk. Let him know that if he ever needs to talk, be it day or night, you're there for him and that he can call you. Thoughts of suicidal ideation or self-harm can come at any time and he will need someone to talk to during those times.

Onto your other questions. The amount of time that he spends hanging out with any individual won't matter too much; having him be in company with people he enjoys several times a week is what is key. What this means is, it doesn't have to be you particularly but if he is hanging-out with others at least 2 or 3 times a week it would be beneficial.

The only boundaries that exist are the ones he implements. Generally, you'll just need to ask him how he's doing and not 'remind' him of his depression everyday, but how often you do that should be down to him to decide.

The best piece of advice I can give, is to observe him. If there is a drastic change in behavior or energy level, that is when you need to intervene and either try to get him to talk or just get him out of the house.

Overall, the above article is a good basis for coping with depression. The author hinted at, but never explicitly said, two key points that I feel the need to reiterate. If your friend is taking medication or is thinking about medication it can take awhile to take effect, on the magnitude of weeks or months, and that not all depression medication is the same - if one pill isn't working move onto others. Second, if your friend is seeing a therapist, again, not all therapist are the same. If he is not connecting with the therapist personally then his treatment is going to be much less effective.

I hope that helps.

Re: How I Beat Depression

#52
post #25

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I came here to say something similar - you do not "get over" clinical depression caused by a biochemical imbalance in your brain. It does not get fixed without making biochemical changes to your brain. The advice the author gives is very sound advice (exercise, for example, does indeed induce biochemical changes in your brain), but without first becoming convinced of the advantages of getting treated, and taking the…

Except exercise _does_ make biochemical changes in the brain. One example: http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC3311131/

Yes, and I said exactly that. I do appreciate the link to the journal article though; I should have included that.

Re: How I Beat Depression

#53

I don't think one can actually beat depression but instead only really cope with the symptoms. I know that sounds awful and kind of defeatist (and I could be wrong) but I think the idea that you can actually conquer this disease sets you up for failure. I first noticed my own depression when I was just a 13 year old kid and first sought help just before the end of high school. I've been through the entire range of em…

I've suffered from MDD and tried to kill myself several times, the last attempt was very serious and I almost did die. Now, almost a decade later and I think I can say I have "beaten" depression. The cure? Time, therapy, loving intimate relationships and judicious use of psychedelics.

I can't say you haven't beaten depression because I just don't know you but for me believing that I've beaten it is dangerous. It's the same kind of logic behind why addicts say they're recovering and not recovered. The disease is still there and can show itself at any time but for now it's in "remission" I suppose you could say.

A lot of people feel like admitting they can't beat depression is a sign of weakness and that if you "beat" it or become "cured" of it that that's somehow a badge of honor. I don't feel that way. I think admitting you can't truly beat this and knowing your limits is the smartest and bravest thing a person can do. I know that if something were to happen and I fell into my old depression again I'd certainly feel even worse after having thought I'd beaten it. Even if I were to say I beat it today while I'm feeling good, that would be a lie. I haven't beaten it. It's still there. I feel it. It wants to consume me all the time but I don't allow it to right now. It hangs on to me every single day, even on days like today when I'm feeling good. The only difference between depressed me and "cured" me is how I deal with it. I'm sure this would be impossible to understand for someone who's never experience depression but even though I struggle with depression every day of my life, I'm not depressed. And that has everything to do with how I've learned to deal with it - I just kind of work around it and don't feed it.

Like I said, I can't and I'm not saying you haven't beaten it. I just can't understand how anyone can really beat it at least not with my understanding of the word "beat" I suppose.

Re: How I Beat Depression

#54

I don't think one can actually beat depression but instead only really cope with the symptoms. I know that sounds awful and kind of defeatist (and I could be wrong) but I think the idea that you can actually conquer this disease sets you up for failure. I first noticed my own depression when I was just a 13 year old kid and first sought help just before the end of high school. I've been through the entire range of em…

I've suffered from MDD and tried to kill myself several times, the last attempt was very serious and I almost did die. Now, almost a decade later and I think I can say I have "beaten" depression. The cure? Time, therapy, loving intimate relationships and judicious use of psychedelics.

I'm curious about the psychedelics, can you share more? What drugs? How often?

Re: How I Beat Depression

#55
One other thing worth noting: consider whether you might actually be bipolar, especially if antidepressants aren't really working for you or make you worse. A lot of Bipolar II cases (where manic states aren't as dramatic and depressive symptoms dominate) are misdiagnosed as unipolar depression.

Re: How I Beat Depression

#56

I don't think one can actually beat depression but instead only really cope with the symptoms. I know that sounds awful and kind of defeatist (and I could be wrong) but I think the idea that you can actually conquer this disease sets you up for failure. I first noticed my own depression when I was just a 13 year old kid and first sought help just before the end of high school. I've been through the entire range of em…

Both in your reply and in the original article, I wish there had been more attention paid to the value of talk therapy in some cases. While it may be true that for some depression originates as a chemical imbalance in the brain, I think for many or even most, it originates from psychological pain.

Therapy can and does routinely help provide lasting help with depression. I don't know what "beating it" means but some people can definitely become free of the symptoms of major depression without taking any medication or exercising or any of the other things listed by discovering the sources of their feelings and confronting them with the help of a therapist.

Re: How I Beat Depression

#57

Exercise is incredibly important b/c of all the positive neurochemical effects it produces. But if you're exercising by yourself, it's easy to skip it, especially if you're already feeling down. It's better to take part in some kind of team or class activity where there's a little bit of social pressure to show up. There will be mornings when you think, "I don't want to go, but I don't want to let those guys down," a…

Exercise is almost never a bad idea. However, the evidence that it helps with depression has recently come under question: http://www.bbc.com/future/story/20120822-does-exercise-help-...

Re: How I Beat Depression

#58
I've been fighting depression since one year ago and I'd like to share my story with you guys and hope to get some warming advices. Quick introduction: I've always been a self-educated about computer science, but my mother always wanted to see me studying in a _regular/acknowledged_ way. When I turned 25, I started feeling very bad: my career in information technology was going really good and since I didn't passed through the academical stages (exams, graduation, etc) I felt like I didn't really deserve such professional "glory" (sorry for quick and dirt english).

So I decided to join the university: I started passing exams, and finally I could go to bed with a clear conscience! One year ago I received a job offer from a big enterprise, a job that could have change my life. This job (9h/5d) would not allow me to continue my university career and they gave me one week to decide. It was really hard, and in the end I refused that job.

My odyssey begins from this point. I had a panic attack on the first day of university after my choice, a huge panic attack that I thought: "I'm gonna die". After that event, my condition degenerated: I was no longer able to go out from my house, neither going downstairs to feed the dog. Everytime I went outside, I had a panic attack, it was a nightmare. Because of this hard form of agoraphobia I was neither able to go out and see a psychiatrist. I also developed tinnitus in my left ear and a painful hypochondria.

It took about 4/5 months before I realized the actual cause of my depression: in this age of economical crisis, when people commits suicides for not being able to pay debts, I rejected a permanent full-time contract. After this realization, my condition started going slightly better: I had no more panic attacks and I was able to go out with my gf and my friends.

At the time of this writing, one year after my first crisis, I'm still not able to go to places with many people, ot taking a train, or staying away from home for too long.

I see that such a condition is common to many computer programmers, I think that alienation caused by working on computers make things worse. At some point, I also considered the option of giving up with computer science, but it's not possible, it's really the only thing I can do.

I'm still fighting depression, I'm still not able to answer the questions "where would you be now to be happy?" , "what would you be doing now to be happy?". It's really sad when you can't answers these questions. Is it ever happened to you? How did you behave?

Re: How I Beat Depression

#59
post #30

I would say the suggestion to work with a doctor should be struck and replaced with a suggestion to work with a psychotherapist or psychiatrist. Doctors (other than psychiatrists) are not trained to deal with mental illness beyond diagnosis and prescription. You'll need to see a doctor if you want to try drugs, but the only reason to have an ongoing relationship with a doctor is so you can try different drugs if the…

psychiatrists can prescribe drugs like any other doctor because they have an md.

Re: How I Beat Depression

#60

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I've suffered from MDD and tried to kill myself several times, the last attempt was very serious and I almost did die. Now, almost a decade later and I think I can say I have "beaten" depression. The cure? Time, therapy, loving intimate relationships and judicious use of psychedelics.

I can't say you haven't beaten depression because I just don't know you but for me believing that I've beaten it is dangerous. It's the same kind of logic behind why addicts say they're recovering and not recovered. The disease is still there and can show itself at any time but for now it's in "remission" I suppose you could say. A lot of people feel like admitting they can't beat depression is a sign of weakness and…

"but for me believing that I've beaten it is dangerous". Is it really that dangerous? Does 'beating' it mean you forget how to cope?

I don't know your situation, but I would strongly advise contemplating the truth that lies behind self-fulfilling prophecies. As Confucius put it “He who who says he can and he who says he can’t are both usually right”. I'm not trying to condense the issue into a soundbite, but rather illustrate that being open to the possibility that you can beat it might mean you can actually beat it.

I truly wish you well.

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