51–60 of 72 posts
That I'm an alcoholic, that I have ADHD, depression and social anxiety. I've got a lot to fix in 2013.
I have no idea if these are true, but I like a person who can self-reflect well. I love folks who are able to attack/correct things they need to. Best of luck!
That I'm an alcoholic, that I have ADHD, depression and social anxiety. I've got a lot to fix in 2013.
The problem with alcoholism is the havoc it unleashes on your body's natural chemistry and metabolism and in turn your overall energy levels, mood, and perception.
Fixing your body chemistry may resolve all the other issues over time.
Suggestion: Take a multivitamin, drink more water, sleep more, get outside more. Oh, and always say YES to any social invitation.
Most people, myself included, don't actually do the things they want to do most of the time. Put another way, first order desires almost never really govern anyone's behavior, and second order desires are dictated almost exclusively by psychological baggage that has little to do with their adult lives.
The problem, in my experience, is that figuring out what you actually "want" is a very difficult proposition. And it often changes rapidly.
You can see this manifested in people who are trying to choose a career. Even smart, goal oriented people often flounder around the career question because while many things interest them, nothing seems to interest them enough to "want" to dedicate their life to it. And it just gets further complicated with generic advice from others like, "Do what you love," when the truth is they don't "love" doing anything.
So you twist your nips in the wind for a while trying to figure out what you really "want", and meanwhile the bar keeps getting lower. Pretty soon all you really want is a reliable car and to be able to make rent without a roommate. And while those might not be the noblest of "wants", you can find a certain personal gratification in them none the less.
I don't know man. I'm 30 years in and I still don't know what I really "want", and it sure as shit ain't for lack of thinking about it. Right now I'm content with a reliable car and a dry house in a safe neighborhood. I have a job that mixes 1 part things I'm interested in and 1 part tedium and it affords me enough time and spare income to tinker away at side projects that are probably of interest to nobody but myself. In all liklihood, a generation after I die, maybe sooner, nobody will even remember I was here. And I'm fine with that.
So when people say, "Do what you want!", man I don't even know what the hell those people are talking about.
I am 25 years old and I don't have the $100,000 job that everyone seems to have no trouble getting =(
You're still young .. not everyone has a $100,000 per year job :-) Live within your means, learn at a pace that'll allow you to absorb, rather than simply skim, and you'll be on your way to success eventually.
I intentionally left a decent-paying job at a Fortune 500 consultancy firm, for a job that pays less but actually allowed me to learn interesting technical skills (in robotics).
Honestly, I'm not sure whether I regret that decision yet.
Working at a successful startup is no fun at all.
That I'm an alcoholic, that I have ADHD, depression and social anxiety. I've got a lot to fix in 2013.
In my experience some of these things are self-reinforcing; alcoholism can lead to ADHD and Depression, which can lead to social anxiety. The problem with alcoholism is the havoc it unleashes on your body's natural chemistry and metabolism and in turn your overall energy levels, mood, and perception. Fixing your body chemistry may resolve all the other issues over time. Suggestion: Take a multivitamin, drink more wat…
But YES otherwise. Alcohol screws with your body/brain, and Alcoholism, ADHD, Depression and Anxiety are all tightly linked in cause and effect.
> Take a multivitamin, drink more water, sleep more, get outside more. Oh, and always say YES to any social invitation.
and while all of this is good general life/health advice, it has nothing to do with ADHD.
Most people, myself included, don't actually do the things they want to do most of the time. Put another way, first order desires almost never really govern anyone's behavior, and second order desires are dictated almost exclusively by psychological baggage that has little to do with their adult lives.
I have witnessed this in myself and others, and it is painful to both see and experience. Of course the question is: what can we do about it?
Most people, myself included, don't actually do the things they want to do most of the time. Put another way, first order desires almost never really govern anyone's behavior, and second order desires are dictated almost exclusively by psychological baggage that has little to do with their adult lives.
"Most people, myself included, don't actually do the things they want to do most of the time." The problem, in my experience, is that figuring out what you actually "want" is a very difficult proposition. And it often changes rapidly. You can see this manifested in people who are trying to choose a career. Even smart, goal oriented people often flounder around the career question because while many things interest th…
Most people, myself included, don't actually do the things they want to do most of the time. Put another way, first order desires almost never really govern anyone's behavior, and second order desires are dictated almost exclusively by psychological baggage that has little to do with their adult lives.
Can you elaborate on that?
But, of course, that person won't do most or even any of those things in a sustained way. The reason is that the person's second order desires, feelings like the impulse to eat ice-cream or the urge to put off making a certain phone call or writing a particular program, those desires are almost always more powerful than first order desires (like goals or ideals).
That's because our behavior is ruled as much or more by subconscious motives as conscious ones, and those subconscious motives aren't governed by the decisions we make or the picture we have of the life we want. They're ruled by an imprint of your childhood, by habit, and by anxiety, depression, and so on.
Another easy example is addiction. It's not that most alcoholics don't want to stop drinking. They can't, because their second order desire to drink is much more powerful than their first order desire.
I've known this was true for me for some time, but this year I really came to understand it and see it happening throughout every day of the year. And I realized the extent to which this dynamic dominates most of the people I know, and how difficult or impossible it is for anyone to overcome their subconscious motives with conscious ones. It's very, very hard and very emotional work to address your subconscious and most people aren't interested in doing it. So the patterns that govern their lives just continue, and they can't gain any freedom from their own conflicts.