Hacker News Board Hacker News, browsed like a classic message board
Live data from Hacker News

On Really Trying (2009)

gwern.net

Post reply on HN
Print view View original

51–60 of 68 posts

Re: On Really Trying (2009)

#51

Post by b3lvedere »

noduerme wrote: post #35
b3lvedere wrote: post #27

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Money aside, would you consider yourself being happy?

Dude or lady, I was happiest when I was writing stories behind the wheel of a taxi, eating beans and rice every night and sleeping in the back seat... I'd almost be happier to lose everything I own and go back to that, because owning shit is an albatross, and what makes me happy is figuring things out from scratch and doing it on my own terms. The one thing that no one can take away from me is the love of proving mys…

I'm a dude, but thank you for not assuming :)

I think that's a really awesome honest answer. I find it very cool you're still looking for challenges and setting the terms yourself. I wish you the best life ever possible.

Re: On Really Trying (2009)

#52

Post by akho »

noduerme wrote: post #29
akho wrote: post #28

Earlier quoted context omitted.

children from families flying Concorde grow up to be doctors and lawyers, news at 11

That's not really the news. Guy grew up in Russia with no indoor plumbing, forced to drop out of school at 12, has 7 brothers and sisters killed in a genocide, flees conscription at 15, broke on a train to Holland then a boat to Argentina where he speaks no Spanish, ends up in America at 21 and becomes a Spanish translator, works as a cloth cutter and a bartender, buys a farm on a patch of arid desert, sends his kid…

sob stories of your gramps life have nothing to do with you

Re: On Really Trying (2009)

#53

Post by elmo-shrugged »

temp0826 wrote: post #47
zshn wrote: post #8

Strangely reading about high achievers having had a difficult childhood and how it might have actually "enabled" them to achieve what they did, is soothing in a way. It's nice to think of your own scars as a thing that helps you sometimes instead of only a burden.

I've worked at an ayahuasca retreat center the last few years and have worked with several of what I'd consider very successful people. What I've noticed is that there are a couple types- those who are successful despite their traumas and those who are successful because of their traumas. The people I've seen successful because of their traumas tend to have difficulty making real progress (which sometimes comes off h…

that's a cool perspective, thanks for sharing. totally makes sense that if you've internalized "bad stuff happens to me", you'd see your successful status as more precarious and not want to change anything, even for the better

Re: On Really Trying (2009)

#54

Post by andai »

zshn wrote: post #8

Strangely reading about high achievers having had a difficult childhood and how it might have actually "enabled" them to achieve what they did, is soothing in a way. It's nice to think of your own scars as a thing that helps you sometimes instead of only a burden.

https://www.schematherapy.com/id73.htm

About two thirds of these can make great fuel, depending on your temperament and coping style (i.e. overcompensation style seen most commonly among our billionaires).

Though "unrelenting standards" is probably the most obvious one. I've noticed this in several men who are getting a lot of attention recently. Their fathers taught them that anything less than absolute victory was unacceptable.

Re: On Really Trying (2009)

#55

Post by vogelke »

noduerme wrote: post #9
zshn wrote: post #8

Strangely reading about high achievers having had a difficult childhood and how it might have actually "enabled" them to achieve what they did, is soothing in a way. It's nice to think of your own scars as a thing that helps you sometimes instead of only a burden.

I'm from a family that believed strongly in what some might call "useful child abuse", but that doesn't imply any actual abuse as it would have been defined even 20 years ago, and it isn't without love. Every one of my brothers will admit that our parents loved us deeply, but that our upbringing was extremely stringent and intellectually rigorous, with seemingly unjust punishments for poor grades or for words spoken…

+1. One of my favorite quotes:

No one hates so bitterly as the lazy and poor contemplating the energetic and prosperous. --Dale Worley

Re: On Really Trying (2009)

#56

Post by andai »

temp0826 wrote: post #47
zshn wrote: post #8

Strangely reading about high achievers having had a difficult childhood and how it might have actually "enabled" them to achieve what they did, is soothing in a way. It's nice to think of your own scars as a thing that helps you sometimes instead of only a burden.

I've worked at an ayahuasca retreat center the last few years and have worked with several of what I'd consider very successful people. What I've noticed is that there are a couple types- those who are successful despite their traumas and those who are successful because of their traumas. The people I've seen successful because of their traumas tend to have difficulty making real progress (which sometimes comes off h…

David Lynch told this story, that he once went to a psychiatrist. At the beginning, he asked him if the therapy could interfere with his work. The guy said "you know, it might."

Lynch stood up and said, "thank you, have a good day" and walked out the door.

Re: On Really Trying (2009)

#57

Post by Kuyawa »

TL;DR https://briff.site/s/on-really-trying-the-hidden-nhqe

Hey guys I am trying my latest side project, don't be harsh on me, this is my first test and I picked this url randomly, nothing against/infavor of the content just in case

Let me know if the toy has any value at all, and please don't abuse it, it costs tokens (1 cent per summary)

Now, roast me without sidetracking the article itself, and thanks for the feedback

Edit: intended to be used like archive.org, but this is for summarizing articles only

Re: On Really Trying (2009)

#58

Post by bgilroy26 »

noduerme wrote: post #24
bgilroy26 wrote: post #18

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Once you've made it this far, the new spectrum everyone is measured on is their magnanimity. It's okay that you didn't turn out to be that magnanimous, but don't lie to yourself and pretend that you tried as hard as you could You had more in your humanity tank than you knew you had

It's not that I'm not magnanimous. I've got lots in the humanity tank. I just reserve the right to speak honestly, and I'm also willing to have my mind changed. Lots of hypocritical assholes are magnanimous as a gesture. I'll spend 2 hours telling a homeless guy he's not Jesus and he's ruining his life and try to find him a job. I did that a couple nights ago. But that isn't magnanimity, fuck no. It's some kind of sh…

It's funny you should turn the conversation to literature

I felt very seen when I read this story of Nathaniel Hawthorne's https://www.classicshorts.com/stories/ebrand.html

It's about a man who left home on a journey because something was bothering him and he didn't stop investigating until he figured out what it was.

It turned out (spoilers!) that he regarded his fellow men at an arm's length. He saw himself apart

I am of that kind and it causes me great pain. If I'm reading you right it seems you feel yourself in the thick of it with everyone. I hope you do not take that feeling for granted

Re: On Really Trying (2009)

#59

Post by andai »

noduerme wrote: post #9
zshn wrote: post #8

Strangely reading about high achievers having had a difficult childhood and how it might have actually "enabled" them to achieve what they did, is soothing in a way. It's nice to think of your own scars as a thing that helps you sometimes instead of only a burden.

I'm from a family that believed strongly in what some might call "useful child abuse", but that doesn't imply any actual abuse as it would have been defined even 20 years ago, and it isn't without love. Every one of my brothers will admit that our parents loved us deeply, but that our upbringing was extremely stringent and intellectually rigorous, with seemingly unjust punishments for poor grades or for words spoken…

So how are you going to do it with your kids?

Re: On Really Trying (2009)

#60

Post by arolihas »

bgilroy26 wrote: post #18
noduerme wrote: post #9

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I'm from a family that believed strongly in what some might call "useful child abuse", but that doesn't imply any actual abuse as it would have been defined even 20 years ago, and it isn't without love. Every one of my brothers will admit that our parents loved us deeply, but that our upbringing was extremely stringent and intellectually rigorous, with seemingly unjust punishments for poor grades or for words spoken…

Once you've made it this far, the new spectrum everyone is measured on is their magnanimity. It's okay that you didn't turn out to be that magnanimous, but don't lie to yourself and pretend that you tried as hard as you could You had more in your humanity tank than you knew you had

Is everyone really measured on their magnanimity? We all pick our metrics to feel like we’re winning or losing.
Post reply on HN