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Making peace with your unlived dreams (2023)

nik.art

51–60 of 229 posts

Re: Making peace with your unlived dreams (2023)

#51

Have you thought about absolutely monster knee braces? And then daily squats. They worked for me. Unfortunately now it’s my neck that’s trying to paralyze me, which would be such a not fun outcome.

You can very likely rehab your knees. Single-leg touchdown squats completely eliminated some serious knee pain I was having with my barbell squats. Also reverse sled drags are a good one. Definitely see a sports/rehab physician or DPT, your family doctor or GP is just going to tell you to "not do that."

Re: Making peace with your unlived dreams (2023)

#52

I read the article and fight with this from a different angle. My son was diagnosed with cancer at 3, then during chemo it became abundantly clear that he had far more severe autism than we originally thought. Could have been made worse by the chemo and trauma; no real way to know. Now my wife and I have had to give up all the dreams we had for when I retired from the military. A few good moves means that I actually…

I'm in a similar boat. I had a startup, connections, was featured in the right places. I got married, and my wife had complications. 6 weeks in the NICU, wife's health has only gone down hill since. Now I'm running between programs for special need for my twins. From time to time, I struggle with my dreams, but I'm also pretty good at lying to myself. I still manage to get things done to advance my dreams.

If you want to chat I'd be happy to reach out (I see the email in your profile).

I'm trying my hand at a startup right now, just to see if I can make a go of it.

Re: Making peace with your unlived dreams (2023)

#53

It’s the not-knowing that is the most haunting. I know I’ll never be able to take martial arts; I have made peace with that. I know I will never be an amazing athlete; I have made peace with that as well. Same with my body composition: I will never be rail-thin, I will never “fit” into most “fun” cars even when I finish my weight loss journey, I will never be the kind of guy who can fit into a Medium of anything clot…

I’m curious why you say you know some of those things will never happen. It’s certainly possible that if you’re extremely tall you probably won’t fit comfortably in some sports cars. And there are some medical conditions that preclude any kind of participation in martial arts.

But barring those, is it possible you don’t know those things but are instead conceding them?

Re: Making peace with your unlived dreams (2023)

#54
Actually I think poorly imagined dreams is a big problem.

People who have poorly imagined dreams are likely to screw up their working life and their retirement too.

There is more that you can pull off during your working years. As a matter of fact, you SHOULD. instead of sitting in front of the tv this weekend, go somewhere.

And in retirement, there is probably less you can pull off unless you focus and make it your job. You should do vigorous cardio, do strength training, connect with people more, not less. and make a good healthy retirement your job.

Re: Making peace with your unlived dreams (2023)

#55
These kind of articles remind me of an article in Polish I read few years ago: "Millennials are a generation that has fallen into the trap of constant self-development" It helped me to deal with my own unrealistic and unrealized dreams/aspirations/etc. Here's a version in English done by Google Translate https://archive.org/details/millennials-are-a-generation-tha... The original article in Polish: https://weekend.gazeta.pl/weekend/7,177344,30226401,milenial...

Re: Making peace with your unlived dreams (2023)

#56

Have you thought about absolutely monster knee braces? And then daily squats. They worked for me. Unfortunately now it’s my neck that’s trying to paralyze me, which would be such a not fun outcome.

Having strong muscles around the joint won't fix a structural problem, but they definitely won't hurt.

When I tore my ACL doing bjj, I was surprised to see that some pro MMA fighters will continue to fight with a torn ACL. They double down on muscles to support the joint and postpone the loss of a year of competition to the reconstruction surgery.

Re: Making peace with your unlived dreams (2023)

#57
post #53

It’s the not-knowing that is the most haunting. I know I’ll never be able to take martial arts; I have made peace with that. I know I will never be an amazing athlete; I have made peace with that as well. Same with my body composition: I will never be rail-thin, I will never “fit” into most “fun” cars even when I finish my weight loss journey, I will never be the kind of guy who can fit into a Medium of anything clot…

I’m curious why you say you know some of those things will never happen. It’s certainly possible that if you’re extremely tall you probably won’t fit comfortably in some sports cars. And there are some medical conditions that preclude any kind of participation in martial arts. But barring those, is it possible you don’t know those things but are instead conceding them?

Nope, it’s a definite never for those ones I listed for a combination of the very reasons you specified. Medical reasons and/or basic physics of height.

Re: Making peace with your unlived dreams (2023)

#58
post #46

Ime with sports and injuries. Doctors say alot of things, unless they are sports doctors that work with you to get back to sports or athletic them selves, they just give useless generic advice. I lost a year becasue of doctors just telling me to rest for a constant pain I had. Author should just go learn to snowboard. There's athletes out there competing with torn acls.

IME sports doctors and physios have incentives aligned with returning to high functionality. I think this causes them to clinically converge on effective treatments. It’s also possible that they have clientele who are willing to put in the work to recover.

Regardless, if you’re optimizing for outcomes this is the way.

Re: Making peace with your unlived dreams (2023)

#59
This article reminded me of this game called "Before your eyes" that is sort of tackling this same theme of unlived dreams. That game helped me realized that I will definitely not achieve all of my dreams but it also gave me the power to pursue them anyway.

I love that game. It's a 1-2h hour long game that I recommend everyone to play (and it's kinda a unique game that use your blinking as a game mechanic)

Re: Making peace with your unlived dreams (2023)

#60
“I saw my life branching out before me like the green fig tree in the story. From the tip of every branch, like a fat purple fig, a wonderful future beckoned and winked. One fig was a husband and a happy home and children, and another fig was a famous poet and another fig was a brilliant professor, and another fig was Ee Gee, the amazing editor, and another fig was Europe and Africa and South America, and another fig was Constantin and Socrates and Attila and a pack of other lovers with queer names and offbeat professions, and another fig was an Olympic lady crew champion, and beyond and above these figs were many more figs I couldn't quite make out. I saw myself sitting in the crotch of this fig tree, starving to death, just because I couldn't make up my mind which of the figs I would choose. I wanted each and every one of them, but choosing one meant losing all the rest, and, as I sat there, unable to decide, the figs began to wrinkle and go black, and, one by one, they plopped to the ground at my feet.”

One of my favorite quotes by Sylvia Plath from the Bell Jar.

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