Hacker News Board Hacker News, browsed like a classic message board
Live data from Hacker News

Real Biological Clock Is You're Going to Die (2018)

hmmdaily.com

Post reply on HN
Print view View original

51–60 of 83 posts

Re: Real Biological Clock Is You're Going to Die (2018)

#51

Post by fruitworks »

tqi wrote: post #5

While I understand and empathize with what this article is getting at ("If you intend to have children, but you don’t intend to have them just yet, you are not banking extra years as a person who is still too young to have children. You are subtracting years from the time you will share the world with your children."), I strongly disagree. I think people should have kids when they are ready. Make an assessment to the…

Civilization ending copium.

>Especially don't blog about it.

If we all bury our heads in the sand, maybe it will go away. After all, our personal happyness is #1. It's our world and our children are just living in it

Re: Real Biological Clock Is You're Going to Die (2018)

#52

Post by huhkerrf »

duttish wrote: post #27
leeoniya wrote: post #16

> Did we choose the age at which we would have children? What does it mean to choose? we planned to have a kid by our early thirties. she specifically wanted one by 30. we were both healthy, financially stable with solid careers. then came multiple miscarriages, 10 years of background/foreground stress, and IVF. now we finally have two healthy ones. i think daily about those 10 years we've lost to spend with our kids…

For decades the discussion in schools have been around "this is how you avoid unwanted pregnancy", safe sex and all of that. With our(northern Europe) crashing fertility rate there's now also discussions about adding on "when the woman is 25 this happens and you're this likely to get pregnant, at 30 it's like this...", just so that people can plan and try for the family they want. If one wants 3 kids and don't want I…

Plenty of people have kids before then and they work out fine. I'm not saying that if you're truly destitute it's a good idea to have kids, but the only people I hear complaining about not being financially ready for kids are those who are objectively well off.

Re: Real Biological Clock Is You're Going to Die (2018)

#53

Post by fruitworks »

michaelt wrote: post #43
tqi wrote: post #5

While I understand and empathize with what this article is getting at ("If you intend to have children, but you don’t intend to have them just yet, you are not banking extra years as a person who is still too young to have children. You are subtracting years from the time you will share the world with your children."), I strongly disagree. I think people should have kids when they are ready. Make an assessment to the…

> I think people should have kids when they are ready. Make an assessment to the best of their ability when exactly that time has arrived. While I kinda agree with this, I've known some folks whose standard for 'ready' was a lot higher than previous generations/other cultures. For example, I could get a folding desk, move my home office into my bedroom, and put 3 kids in bunk beds in one room. Or I could say I'm not…

For thousands of years, mankind struggled for survival. We invented agriculture, shelter, clawed our way into modern medicine and eventuallt multiplied on the face of the earth.

But as it turns out, the limit of our growth was that precious currency of desk space. We scoured the ends of the earth and wept, for there was no more desk space left.

Re: Real Biological Clock Is You're Going to Die (2018)

#55

Post by fruitworks »

lencastre wrote: post #12

it’s never the right time, not everyone deserves to have kids, and not every kid deserves the parents they got, still, it has to be part of the meaning of life, to see something that is your blood, discover, play, become a responsible adult and one day hopefully decided that it is worth to also have children of their own happy 2026

no one deserves to have kids

Re: Real Biological Clock Is You're Going to Die (2018)

#56

Post by anal_reactor »

rokhayakebe wrote: post #28

I feel we should have children as early as possible between 18 and 30, but we should also stay together with our parents. Grandparents can raise their grandchildren. They would do a better job. The problem is now everyone wants to go on their own, separate from the community, then call modern life difficult.

Because fuck community. It's extremely rare to meet people who don't suck. My parents were never interested in me as a person, they were interested in me fulfilling their fantasy of a picture-perfect family. My aunt completely exploited her husband and then he happened to drink himself to death which was completely and unavoidably his own fault. Now she's ruining her daughter's teenage years just so that she can score popularity points among other religious nuts. When I was a kid I was the least popular in my class and I know that when you reach the bottom, literally nobody cares about you, unless they can extract something from you. It's dog eat dog. Now I'm an adult and the more I interact with general population the more it feeds my narcissism. I genuinely tried becoming a better person so that I'd have more friends but at some point I understood "it's not me, it's them". There's only so much I can do before I realize, most people aren't worth being friends with. The few people that are worth it are ridiculously difficult to find and usually have their own busy lives and chances are, the ones you happen to meet live on the other side of the city which is one hour one way.

Re: Real Biological Clock Is You're Going to Die (2018)

#57

Post by stevekemp »

duttish wrote: post #27
leeoniya wrote: post #16

> Did we choose the age at which we would have children? What does it mean to choose? we planned to have a kid by our early thirties. she specifically wanted one by 30. we were both healthy, financially stable with solid careers. then came multiple miscarriages, 10 years of background/foreground stress, and IVF. now we finally have two healthy ones. i think daily about those 10 years we've lost to spend with our kids…

For decades the discussion in schools have been around "this is how you avoid unwanted pregnancy", safe sex and all of that. With our(northern Europe) crashing fertility rate there's now also discussions about adding on "when the woman is 25 this happens and you're this likely to get pregnant, at 30 it's like this...", just so that people can plan and try for the family they want. If one wants 3 kids and don't want I…

> But who's financially secure at 25?

This is where free daycare, and support from the government helps.

(And yes of course it's not "free", it is paid for from taxes, people are so smart to point that out.)

Different countries have different incentives, but I was really pleased with the setup in Finland when we had our child. A free box of first-clothes, daycare from 1-5 years old cheap enough that it was almost free, and preschool at 6 before schooling started at 7.

Lots of minor perks, such as free transport on busses, trams, etc, if you were pushing a stroller, and so on.

Re: Real Biological Clock Is You're Going to Die (2018)

#58

Post by esseph »

fruitworks wrote: post #49
aziaziazi wrote: post #30

Earlier quoted context omitted.

> But who's financially secure at 25? Those backed up by their government?

it's dysgenic to enable reproduction through welfare. Better to create an economy where young people can start families off of their own labor.

It's the tribe supporting the newest members. Seems the most logical thing I can imagine.

Re: Real Biological Clock Is You're Going to Die (2018)

#59

Post by RamblingCTO »

> You are subtracting years from the time you will share the world with your children.

Love the thought. But for me I wasn't able to commit to wanting to have children because I had to learn so much about dating and what I think I deserve and what I want. I just went with the "cool uncle" (which often times hides the "I think I don't deserve love and thus sabotage myself") narrative the last decade or so and had to have the bad experiences I've had 2025 to come to the conclusion that I want a wife and kids. Sometimes your life task dictates how it goes for you and a little less grip on this journey seems beneficial to me.

This article came at a perfect time for me and I will go full steam ahead to find someone to make kids with o7

Post reply on HN