Men, where have you gone? Please come back • Hacker News Board

Re: Men, where have you gone? Please come back

#51

Post by labrador » Wed, Jun 25, 2025, 3:58 PM UTC

nchmy wrote: post #50

labrador wrote: post #42

Earlier quoted context omitted.

You're assuming a cold approach from a stranger. They knew each other and were friendly. He asked, she declined. That should’ve been the end of it. But instead, she chose public shaming, which wasn’t about boundaries, it was about performing victimhood. That kind of social punishment teaches men to disappear, not to grow. What do you think that does to a generation of men already struggling with connection?

I come back to my original comment - why did he have romantic interest in a 22yr old? Theres A LOT of women out there who would be vastly more compatible with him due to being in a similar stage of life. And, moreover, if he already knew her, he should have been able it intuit a) if she was interested and b) what her character is like - is she the sort to try to actively shame people. I really hope your son does deep…

You've ignored all my arguments so at this point you're trolling

Re: Men, where have you gone? Please come back

#52

Post by tuesdaynight » Thu, Jun 26, 2025, 3:13 AM UTC

labrador wrote: post #42

nchmy wrote: post #35

Earlier quoted context omitted.

You seem to be the only one exhibiting disgust here, friend. The main reason for my comment - though there's plenty more - is that a 38yr old and 22 yr old are literally a generation, and hopefully (for the older person's sake) immense life experience and maturity levels, apart. I'm late 30s and couldn't possibly fathom being in a fulfilling relationship with a 22 year old - unless I was only interested in her as an…

You're assuming a cold approach from a stranger. They knew each other and were friendly. He asked, she declined. That should’ve been the end of it. But instead, she chose public shaming, which wasn’t about boundaries, it was about performing victimhood. That kind of social punishment teaches men to disappear, not to grow. What do you think that does to a generation of men already struggling with connection?

How did that public shaming happened, if you don't mind sharing?

I know that it's a different culture, but in my country (South America one), people would not see that age difference with good eyes. I'm not sure about public shaming (assholes are not a new thing, though), but I guarantee you that people would be weirded out by a guy almost in his 40s approaching a woman with half his age, and I live in a mostly "open" country in that regard.

It's not necessarily about the age gap, but her being younger than 25, at least here where I live.

Re: Men, where have you gone? Please come back

#53

Post by labrador » Thu, Jun 26, 2025, 4:19 AM UTC

tuesdaynight wrote: post #52

labrador wrote: post #42

Earlier quoted context omitted.

You're assuming a cold approach from a stranger. They knew each other and were friendly. He asked, she declined. That should’ve been the end of it. But instead, she chose public shaming, which wasn’t about boundaries, it was about performing victimhood. That kind of social punishment teaches men to disappear, not to grow. What do you think that does to a generation of men already struggling with connection?

How did that public shaming happened, if you don't mind sharing? I know that it's a different culture, but in my country (South America one), people would not see that age difference with good eyes. I'm not sure about public shaming (assholes are not a new thing, though), but I guarantee you that people would be weirded out by a guy almost in his 40s approaching a woman with half his age, and I live in a mostly "open…

By public shaming I mean going on social media to "cancel" him, with her friends piling on. I'm not worried about it anymore, since it appears to be something important to one slice of young Americans. It definitely was socially acceptable to most groups up until recently.

I can't speak to countries outside America. I'm sure there are a wide range of cultural norms across the globe. I recommended my son date women his own age and he agrees. He's thought about it and now sees he got older without updating his preferences for women. Now he realizes that a 22 year old woman is too young for him.