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Leaving and Waving

deannadikeman.com

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Re: Leaving and Waving

#51

Post by stvltvs »

nf3 wrote: post #39

Wonderful! Watching one's closest people age is so cool! I love looking at my wife (we've been married for 20 years) and seeing how she's changing through the years, her eyes, her skin, her figure, it's fascinating. Same for the wrinkles on my mother's hands, or even my own. For me, there's nothing scary or sad about growing old and then dying. It's natural, it's beautiful, it's just great the way it is.

I agree, but that doesn't stop us from missing someone when they're gone, like a friend who's moved far away. The difference is that death is so final. There's absolutely no chance to call them or visit them. They're just gone.

That's sad, and being sad is natural too.

Re: Leaving and Waving

#52

Post by leobg »

27 years. And yet, these aren’t that many photos. It’s not grains of sand running through an hourglass. It’s forks of a single meal. No seconds. And with the difference that the plate may be snatched from you at any moment, even though you thought you’d still have plenty left.

Re: Leaving and Waving

#53

Post by IAmGraydon »

I'm 43 and my parents still wave to me just like this when I leave from a visit with them. It makes me incredibly sad to know the inevitable end to this. Barring something drastic happening, my dad will likely go first. I don't know how my mom will ever handle it. They've been married since she was 19 and he was 21. I don't know how any of us will handle it.

Don't hesitate to do the things today which will otherwise become regrets tomorrow.

Re: Leaving and Waving

#55

Post by kbutler »

crabbone wrote: post #25

I was recently recommended the book The Last Lecture by Randy Pausch. And while people who recommended this book said they had an epiphany moment reading it, all I saw there was a story of someone who's been served everything in their life on a silver platter. Someone who came to meet the literal end of their life, and yet grown no humility nor a bit of introspection... Until the last page I was waiting for the punch…

I'm sorry that having never had these relationships, you cannot comprehend the loss. In seeing this series and the comments, I see both the sweetness of the relationships and the hint of the grief at their passing.

Yes, we recognize that having loving parents is an immeasurable blessing. While their passing is not a world-ending tragedy, it is precisely because we know how precious that interaction is, that we mourn their passing - and encourage others who have it to treasure it.

But there are other precious relationships and interactions that we can establish, build, and treasure.

Re: Leaving and Waving

#56

Post by keithnz »

crabbone wrote: post #25

I was recently recommended the book The Last Lecture by Randy Pausch. And while people who recommended this book said they had an epiphany moment reading it, all I saw there was a story of someone who's been served everything in their life on a silver platter. Someone who came to meet the literal end of their life, and yet grown no humility nor a bit of introspection... Until the last page I was waiting for the punch…

It seems to me you aren't going to relate much as you haven't experienced losing parents who you have strong bonds with.

Re: Leaving and Waving

#57

Post by isoprophlex »

dottjt wrote: post #49

Growing up I didn't really know my father. He was an alcoholic and spent his time with his friends drinking when I was young. My parents separated when I was around 8 years old and I haven't seen my father since, even till this day (I am around 30). I was never really close with my mother. We would eat dinner in separate rooms. We grew more and more distant throughout my teen years and when I was 20 I decided to diso…

That's... rough, man. Take care. I hope that on the whole, the light manages to balance the darkness somewhat.

Re: Leaving and Waving

#58

Post by mottiden »

dottjt wrote: post #49

Growing up I didn't really know my father. He was an alcoholic and spent his time with his friends drinking when I was young. My parents separated when I was around 8 years old and I haven't seen my father since, even till this day (I am around 30). I was never really close with my mother. We would eat dinner in separate rooms. We grew more and more distant throughout my teen years and when I was 20 I decided to diso…

Sending you a huge hug

Re: Leaving and Waving

#59

Post by imchillyb »

‘…little boy blue and the man in the moon. When ya coming’ home son? I don’t know when. We’ll get together then. You know we’ll have a good time then.’

All we have are snatches, glimpses, a rotoscope of moments. Then it’s gone. All of it.

Capture those waves, smiles and frowns. Cherish the light and the shadow while it’s possible because all that remains after is the long dark.

Re: Leaving and Waving

#60

Post by sizzle »

I can’t imagine sticking a frail but mobile and healthy parent in assisted living. I would give them a room to spend their last days or I would forever regret it. Anyone else?
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