51–60 of 64 posts
It's easy to say you wish you spent less time working and more time doing the things you love, because it's easy to forget how working hard enabled you to do the things you love.
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Then I will suggest you might be projecting. My work saved my life. I don't regret my devotion to either my sons or my ex husband. I consider myself a success in life, something I wrote about recently elsewhere and will be happy to share the link to if you care to see it.
Of course you don't regret your devotion to your family. But what you've actually written in this thread is a defense of prioritizing work over family. So which is it?
I do not see the world in the black and white terms you are viewing my remarks through. That probably explains a lot.
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I appreciate your comments and the level of understanding you showed your husband. I think a lot of your perspective comes from the military life. In that career path refusing to do something or to show up can potentially ruin your career, and it is not as easy to change jobs. It's probably different for me because I could likely find a new job easily enough, so the consequences are not as severe as if I was back in…
From military life. From my dad growing up in The Great Depression. From my mom growing up in Germany during WWII and its aftermath. From devotedly raising two special needs sons and helping them overcome challenges that are supposed to be impossible to overcome. From getting well when that is supposedly impossible. I have yet to figure out how to make enough money from the things I consider my life's work. But I do…
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> if I've got to make a choice between finishing a product or being a good parent/husband I'll take the latter And that's why most successful startups are founded by childless, unmarried, under 30s. Being young correlates to being energetic and not risk averse, and having no family commitments correlates to choosing the product over going to soccer practice.
I'm not sure that working 16hrs per day vs 8hrs gives a 2x increase in productivity. Maybe not even 1.5x - maybe not even 1.2x. And even if it was a 2x increase in output, I'm not sure that that's an enabling variable in a startup's success.
80% Fixing some stupid emergency drop everything issue that was somewhere between the user's keyboard and the oracle database.
19.99% Implementing some feature that got lost in the shuffle when clients are showing up tomorrow morning for a demo
0.01% Actually bringing the product forward and beating out the competition.
Honestly, over fifteen years I can only think of a few days where I ended at 10pm and said "yeah, that was a good day, we really got ourselves ahead", more often than not it was "shit, at least we are barely above water."
Of course YMMV
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Of course you don't regret your devotion to your family. But what you've actually written in this thread is a defense of prioritizing work over family. So which is it?
Perhaps you have only read part of my remarks here. I have made the point that one should try to be there for important events like the birth of a child. But in the grand scheme of things, missing a birthday dinner but keeping your job, when that job is presumably supporting the family, is the right call. He said it was one of the largest clients his firm had. If the firm lost the client, depending on how large the a…
You also said "I think if friends and family don't understand that your work is a priority, they should be cut loose." That seems like a pretty black-and-white position to me. But then you say that there are times that family should come first.
It also seems like you're conflating family and work, saying things like "my family was my work." When what most of us mean by "work" is an external employer. When you say "My work saved my life" are you talking about raising your family or working for an external employer?
So I guess I am just confused as to what you are trying to say. At first I thought you were trying to say that work should always come first. Now your devotion to your family is very clear to me, and you seem to be saying that people need to strike a proper balance. Which I agree with.
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From military life. From my dad growing up in The Great Depression. From my mom growing up in Germany during WWII and its aftermath. From devotedly raising two special needs sons and helping them overcome challenges that are supposed to be impossible to overcome. From getting well when that is supposedly impossible. I have yet to figure out how to make enough money from the things I consider my life's work. But I do…
I get it and I'm not trying to change your mind. I'm sorry that others here were not very nice today. I'm sure the work you are doing has real meaning and that is why it is important to you. At my job it just means someone gets a little more or less money. I appreciate your insight on the situation I've faced at my job. I obviously took the path you suggested since I'm still here :).
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Perhaps you have only read part of my remarks here. I have made the point that one should try to be there for important events like the birth of a child. But in the grand scheme of things, missing a birthday dinner but keeping your job, when that job is presumably supporting the family, is the right call. He said it was one of the largest clients his firm had. If the firm lost the client, depending on how large the a…
I guess I am being thrown off by the words you're choosing. "Sacrosanct" means inviolable, above criticism or priority. If something is "sacrosanct," by definition it must always come first, no exceptions. It's a black and white term. If work is sacrosanct then that means that family will always be sacrificed. But then you seem to indicate that there are time that family should come before work. You also said "I thin…
Just when I thought things were getting better...
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There's a big difference between making sacrifices for something that's strongly important to you (defending your country, supporting your family, etc.) vs making sacrifices for no real gain. This was the latter. Without getting into a debate about what the correct choice was-the author of the article made a decision that was out of line with his values, due to social pressures and habits. He didn't choose to go to t…
I strongly suspect that only someone with a ridiculously cushy life could think that. But I also suspect most people on this forum are incapable of understanding where I am coming from in that regard, so I am likely wasting everyone's time, especially mine.
And no joining the military long enough to get a collage degree does not qualify as a 'hard' life compared to say living in as a super max prisoner, a hunter gatherer, or 95% of humanity before the 1500's.
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I strongly suspect that only someone with a ridiculously cushy life could think that. But I also suspect most people on this forum are incapable of understanding where I am coming from in that regard, so I am likely wasting everyone's time, especially mine.
Most people in the US have the option of a vary cushy life, they just don't realize it. The real problem is people are only aware of a minuscule fraction of their choices. And no joining the military long enough to get a collage degree does not qualify as a 'hard' life compared to say living in as a super max prisoner, a hunter gatherer, or 95% of humanity before the 1500's.
Please excuse me while I go have a good cry. I no longer know how to cope.