Keynes on the influence of furniture on love • Hacker News Board

Re: Keynes on the influence of furniture on love

#51

Post by pjc50 » Thu, Oct 03, 2024, 12:02 PM UTC

potato3732842 wrote: post #14

kylehotchkiss wrote: post #7

I once met somebody on the train who lives in the Bay Area and told me that her dating experiences in the area with tech guys included more than one "guy who just has a mattress on the floor". If there's any takeaway from the 15 seconds you spent looking at this article and the comments, you should buy a bed frame. Any bedframe. Just take the mattress off the floor. If you're on this site, you can afford one. Extra c…

The other side of that coin is that if she can't tolerate mattress on floor to access tech money then maybe the other guy dodged a bullet too depending on what he's after. I found myself turning down the class intentionally a lot because my current income/wealth level exceeds the norm for my background at my age and I don't want to live with someone who doesn't share my social/cultural norms. It reminds me of a passa…

> she can't tolerate mattress on floor to access tech money

What, is the money supposed to be under the mattress?

It's certainly a very clear signal that money - keeping it, not spending it - is the most important thing in your life. Which is of course a very clear signal that you're not going to make a person an important thing in your life.

Re: Keynes on the influence of furniture on love

#52

Post by WarOnPrivacy » Thu, Oct 03, 2024, 1:55 PM UTC

cherry_tree wrote: post #41

potato3732842 wrote: post #14

Earlier quoted context omitted.

The other side of that coin is that if she can't tolerate mattress on floor to access tech money then maybe the other guy dodged a bullet too depending on what he's after. I found myself turning down the class intentionally a lot because my current income/wealth level exceeds the norm for my background at my age and I don't want to live with someone who doesn't share my social/cultural norms. It reminds me of a passa…

Where did you grow up that to social norm is a bed with no frame?

Where ... social norm is a bed with no frame?

Poverty is one I've seen personally.

Recent flood victims is another but I think that's a riff on poverty. They have a zillion priorities for their meager dollars. They also didn't foresee being flooded 3x in 2 years.

Re: Keynes on the influence of furniture on love

#53

Post by inglor_cz » Thu, Oct 03, 2024, 2:21 PM UTC

gexla wrote: post #38

kylehotchkiss wrote: post #7

I once met somebody on the train who lives in the Bay Area and told me that her dating experiences in the area with tech guys included more than one "guy who just has a mattress on the floor". If there's any takeaway from the 15 seconds you spent looking at this article and the comments, you should buy a bed frame. Any bedframe. Just take the mattress off the floor. If you're on this site, you can afford one. Extra c…

I can do better, sometimes I sleep on a bamboo mat. When I have a migraine, I can only sleep on a hard surface. I suppose I could put the mat on a frame. ;) Also, why bring a date to your house when you only have a floor mattress?

TBH Bamboo mat sounds a lot better than a mattress on the floor.

The first one is a bit ascetic. The second one ... sloppy? IDK, but a mattress on the floor is repulsive to me as well, and I am a male with zero gold-digging tendencies. Perhaps because every mattress person I can think of was a person with a dirty, somewhat smelly and musky mattress, and the same was true about their clothing etc.

Re: Keynes on the influence of furniture on love

#54

Post by rangestransform » Thu, Oct 03, 2024, 2:37 PM UTC

wegfawefgawefg wrote: post #25

393744748 wrote: post #24

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Re-read this post and seriously evaluate what's actually being described. Dodged a bullet from what? A low quality gold digger? Normal well adjusted people have standards and unless you're going to make some absent minded appeal to norms in other cultures one of those standards is an actual bed complete with a frame. It's a low bar to reach for.

It is simply a matter of utility. Bed frames do not provide much utility, and cost money, which seperates me from my early retirement. Tech bros are probably making this utilitarian decision more consciously than the woman was considering her own mate evaluation feature detectors. A more intelligent, less shallow woman would have connected the dots. Had the male been percieved as sufficiently physically attractive sh…

FWIW a mattress on a hardwood floor can grow mold on the underside

Re: Keynes on the influence of furniture on love

#55

Post by immibis » Thu, Oct 03, 2024, 2:45 PM UTC

393744748 wrote: post #24

potato3732842 wrote: post #14

Earlier quoted context omitted.

The other side of that coin is that if she can't tolerate mattress on floor to access tech money then maybe the other guy dodged a bullet too depending on what he's after. I found myself turning down the class intentionally a lot because my current income/wealth level exceeds the norm for my background at my age and I don't want to live with someone who doesn't share my social/cultural norms. It reminds me of a passa…

Re-read this post and seriously evaluate what's actually being described. Dodged a bullet from what? A low quality gold digger? Normal well adjusted people have standards and unless you're going to make some absent minded appeal to norms in other cultures one of those standards is an actual bed complete with a frame. It's a low bar to reach for.

From someone who is going to spend a lot more of his money than he is, on things he thinks are completely unnecessary.

Re: Keynes on the influence of furniture on love

#56

Post by magicpin » Thu, Oct 03, 2024, 4:33 PM UTC

wegfawefgawefg wrote: post #25

393744748 wrote: post #24

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Re-read this post and seriously evaluate what's actually being described. Dodged a bullet from what? A low quality gold digger? Normal well adjusted people have standards and unless you're going to make some absent minded appeal to norms in other cultures one of those standards is an actual bed complete with a frame. It's a low bar to reach for.

It is simply a matter of utility. Bed frames do not provide much utility, and cost money, which seperates me from my early retirement. Tech bros are probably making this utilitarian decision more consciously than the woman was considering her own mate evaluation feature detectors. A more intelligent, less shallow woman would have connected the dots. Had the male been percieved as sufficiently physically attractive sh…

A bed frame both increases the lifetime of a mattress, and the general cleanliness. This massive amount of round about thinking is pointless when your initial assessment of what’s going on is wrong.

I wouldn’t want to date someone who doesn’t have a bed frame not because not having some arbitrary furniture is weird, but because not having a bed frame is gross. And all these mental gymnastics you’re going on about saving $100 as someone who probably makes six figures screams to me that you have several massive misunderstandings about day to day living that will cause you serious health problems in the long run.

The last person I met that didn’t use a bed frame also used the dishes that he eats off to wash his outdoor boots.

Re: Keynes on the influence of furniture on love

#57

Post by isleyaardvark » Thu, Oct 03, 2024, 5:35 PM UTC

lm28469 wrote: post #10

beAbU wrote: post #9

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Steve Jobs famously started out like that, a mattress and a MASSIVE stereo. Maybe they try to emulate their hero?

It's like only wearing grey t-shirts thinking it'll make you the next Zuckerberg...

Jobs also had a long period where he wouldn't shower and was put on the night shift because he stunk so bad. Wonder if they'll try that.

Re: Keynes on the influence of furniture on love

#58

Post by wegfawefgawefg » Sat, Oct 05, 2024, 5:30 PM UTC

imtringued wrote: post #45

4gotunameagain wrote: post #32

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I honestly cannot tell whether this is an intentional troll meme attempt. This is just too good to be true. A more intelligent, less shallow woman [would've seen past the lack of a bed frame] [bed frames] separate me from my early retirement. ahahahh so you will retire 15 minutes earlier after a lifetime of sleeping on the floor, what an intelligent trade-off

Calling a woman shallow for being concerned about your sleeping conditions sure sounds like trolling.

It is disingenuous to call it "conditions" as though we were discussing a negative quality of sleep or negative health influence a merely unframed mattress would not realistically cause.

I think needless over-concern with aesthetics is a very common issue. I do equate it with shallowness. I think most people do consider it to be shallow.

I do think many of the worlds problems are caused by excessive attention to that which does not matter, and not enough attention to that which matters a lot.

It is a difference in values. To give context, I grew up poor. The first 16 years of my life I slept on futons on the floor. When I finally did have a typical american bed with frame, headboard, boxspring, and mattress, it made me uncomfortable.

I eventually gave away the headboard to a sibling. I value the extra few inches beyond the mattress and do not like hitting my head, or hanging my feet over the edge. The discomfort cost was not worth the aesthetic gain. (I didnt think the headboard really looked good anyways.)

If a woman rejects me solely for my well considered preference in sleeping platform, she is shallow. I would hope she cared for more important things such as the way we treat eachother, reliability, patience, etc. Moral virtue. Living inexpensively, being happy with less, the absence of vanity. These are good qualities. A good person will be able to recognize these, and love another for them.

Re: Keynes on the influence of furniture on love

#59

Post by wegfawefgawefg » Sat, Oct 05, 2024, 5:49 PM UTC

foldr wrote: post #47

4gotunameagain wrote: post #32

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I honestly cannot tell whether this is an intentional troll meme attempt. This is just too good to be true. A more intelligent, less shallow woman [would've seen past the lack of a bed frame] [bed frames] separate me from my early retirement. ahahahh so you will retire 15 minutes earlier after a lifetime of sleeping on the floor, what an intelligent trade-off

I remember the experiment a while ago with the ban on political topics on HN. What this site more urgently needs is a ban on any discussion of sex or dating. It’s always pretty sick-making.

I do not see this as a political topic. I do not see this as a men versus women topic. I see it as a discussion of value, utility versus aesthetics. I do think people care too much for aesthetics at the expense of their own utility. I do think that condition is aptly called shallowness.

Re: Keynes on the influence of furniture on love

#60

Post by wegfawefgawefg » Sat, Oct 05, 2024, 6:01 PM UTC

4gotunameagain wrote: post #32

wegfawefgawefg wrote: post #25

Earlier quoted context omitted.

It is simply a matter of utility. Bed frames do not provide much utility, and cost money, which seperates me from my early retirement. Tech bros are probably making this utilitarian decision more consciously than the woman was considering her own mate evaluation feature detectors. A more intelligent, less shallow woman would have connected the dots. Had the male been percieved as sufficiently physically attractive sh…

I honestly cannot tell whether this is an intentional troll meme attempt. This is just too good to be true. A more intelligent, less shallow woman [would've seen past the lack of a bed frame] [bed frames] separate me from my early retirement. ahahahh so you will retire 15 minutes earlier after a lifetime of sleeping on the floor, what an intelligent trade-off

It is not a joke or a troll.

I have made the choice to save a few hundred dollars here or there many thousands of times. It adds up. I do believe living frugally is virtuous.

I do think not acknowledging others care, sacrifice or not, for utility over aesthetic is shallow. I know people who would not have made such a silly judgement. I appreciate that quality in those people.