I Turned 72 Today • Hacker News Board

Re: I Turned 72 Today

#51

Post by op00to » Mon, Mar 18, 2024, 1:37 PM UTC

gardenhedge wrote: post #18

I normally dislike lists like this but I like some of these. "It’s usually better to be nice than right." "Nobody gets to their death bed and says, I’m sorry for trying so many things."

I started a new job a few years ago. I was successful at my last place, but was often stressed and in conflict with others that didn't meet my standards. We were encouraged to speak up and hold others accountable, but the way I did that was not really 'nice', even if it wasn't offensive or rude.

At my current place, I made a conscious decision to be 'nicer'. That doesn't mean I'm going to put up with BS or get pushed around, but I'm way more thoughtful with how I approach interpersonal relationships. I've found more success with less stress with this approach than I did with my previous tack. It really boils down to being "nice", or as I tell myself, "don't be an asshole".

Re: I Turned 72 Today

#52

Post by Jensson » Mon, Mar 18, 2024, 1:47 PM UTC

Lendal wrote: post #32

theclansman wrote: post #13

Earlier quoted context omitted.

It's hard to not be cynical when you read stuff like "Envy is like drinking poison expecting the other person to die." which is like 2 different inspirational quotes taped together, I heard this one about hatred rather than envy.

Envy has its uses. It reveals what you want. It's a good thing to know yourself and what you want out of life.

The positive side of wanting what others have is called inspiration or something like that, "you inspire me to work hard so I can be like you" etc, nobody calls that envy.

Envy is purely negative in a social sense, it makes you fight people just because they have stuff you want. It is beneficial to your own genes but not beneficial to humanity.

Re: I Turned 72 Today

#53

Post by Jensson » Mon, Mar 18, 2024, 1:59 PM UTC

throwaw12 wrote: post #24

_aaed wrote: post #10

> NEVER criticize, blame, or complain. (Constructive) Criticism is what advances our development as a species, not sure why that is a necessarily bad thing

when you criticise a person to convey your ideas, it doesn't change their minds. criticizing the "stuff" is okay, this is how we advance, but not the "person"

People change due to criticism all the time, it really works. If criticism didn't work we wouldn't have so strong urges to do it, the feeling to criticize others is something we evolved to have.

Criticism might not change people the way you want however, it is like punishment vs rewards, you can change people by punishing them or rewarding them, both works to change people but in different ways and often punishment makes the person resent you so you should do it sparingly.

Re: I Turned 72 Today

#54

Post by WXLCKNO » Mon, Mar 18, 2024, 2:58 PM UTC

throwaw12 wrote: post #25

WXLCKNO wrote: post #23

Being old doesn't make you wise or particularly knowledgeable.

you are not wrong, but some things come with time because 99% of us are regular human beings who learn over time. 99 years old might not be wiser than couple of smart people, but their conclusion can be wise for other regular 30 years old hard working professionals who are losing their mind over their careers and never investing into personal relationships

I just meant it doesn't make anyone wise by default ;)

There are lessons you can only learn by living through them, no doubt about it.

I think I just don't like these type of posts where age is used as some kind of source of authority or to set expectations. Old or young, like a post that says "I'm only 16 and I did X".

It doesn't diminish the accomplishments or anything and maybe it's just better marketing at that point..

Re: I Turned 72 Today

#55

Post by andyjohnson0 » Mon, Mar 18, 2024, 3:00 PM UTC

vjerancrnjak wrote: post #29

andyjohnson0 wrote: post #27

I wish the author a happy birthday. But - and I hope this is taken in a spirit of constructive kindness - the post is fairly generic and bland advice. I'm sure it is well meant, but I hope I never feel tempted to post something like this when I'm 72.

You can rationally understand what's being said but you're not attached to it. "You will die, don't delve over negative moments too much." You can read this but have no experience of knowing you will really die. You might rationally understand it, but you experience no change. Yet when you finally realize you will die, when you truly know it, you act from a different place. "You will die." is very generic and bland y…

Maybe.

I know I'm going to die. I've been with people when they died. And I'm seeing a parent living with the challenges of very old age. I know I'm going to die and I try to meditate on that and, as far as I can tell, I truly know it. And I see the value of that knowledge.

But in a way it also changes nothing. I'm still alive. I'm still going to die. Nothing fundamental has fundamentally changed.