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Get Offended More (2020)

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Re: Get Offended More (2020)

#51

Post by lpcrealmadrid »

harimau777 wrote: post #28
lpcrealmadrid wrote: post #27

Earlier quoted context omitted.

This is a great point. I suppose my hope is that by being less shutdown-offended yourself, you can have an open heart to those that are shutdown-offended. Because engaging with such people is crucial to understanding what’s actually going on (rather than just lobbing facts and conflicting histories back and forth). Trauma is real!

Thanks for the reply! For what it's worth. After reading what I wrote again I think that this is a better way to put what I was saying: (I was going to edit my original, but I'll post it here since you've already replied.) In terms of improving discussion by differentiating between disagreement and offense: I think that in order for that to work, it is important that offense is treated as valid and worth addressing.…

+1 !!!

Admittedly, I wrote this post 3 years ago when I was seeking clarity around disagreement during a wild time. Re-reading it now, in yet another wild time (3 years "wiser" aka having learned how to change a diaper or two), I missed out on compassion for those who are offended. Like you said, if it's important to find a mutual way forward, then it is also worth addressing the fears + emotional lives of those that are offended.

Re: Get Offended More (2020)

#52

Post by lpcrealmadrid »

trey-jones wrote: post #31
conductr wrote: post #30

I get what the author is trying to convey but for me, I find avoiding sources of offense leads to a happier life. Primarily, this means low social media consumption. I spend about 15 minutes a week catching up with the happenings of my family and a few actual friends. I try to ignore the rest, but even when I see something I disagree with or take offense to, I just don’t engage. I also try to mirror this in meatspace…

I feel like I could have written this exact comment. Most arguments just aren't worth it. You have to know that the other person has this same approach (willingness to see another point of view, plus manners) or else it's just not worth it. Pretty often I'll offer a "disagreement" and if I'm not satisfied that my debating partner is listening, that's it, I'm out. For the article, I'm ok with the message, but the titl…

thanks for the click ;)

Re: Get Offended More (2020)

#54

Post by pnutjam »

account-5 wrote: post #49
pnutjam wrote: post #21

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I read this as just another way for privilege to shut down discourse. "You're just offended."

And yet it's more often those who perceive themselves as less privileged that shut down discourse: check you privilege.

citation needed.

When you're privileged, equity can seem like inequity.

Re: Get Offended More (2020)

#55

Post by DiscourseFan »

slfnflctd wrote: post #39
DiscourseFan wrote: post #4

I really don't get offended by anything anymore. I can get quite passionate in my discussions, but I don't take anything personally, and always welcome the opportunity for criticism. Though it is usually the ones who take offence who are the least able to criticize me.

One of the things I still have trouble not taking personally are insults. They're easier to take from kids, but from a grown adult who I consider a peer in at least some areas it's hard to brush off. [Funny enough, I have an easier time with it in person than with text.] If you view someone insulting you as a child, it softens the impact. My main question here, though, is when do you stop doing that (if ever)? If an…

That is true, I was only thinking about political or social discussions, not personal attacks. But I suppose its different if you're, say, living in the West Bank, and someone online is discussing how Israel's "right to exist" justifies their encroachment in a way that has personally affected your own livelihood--what is the difference there, between the personal insult and the broader political discourse?

Though there is definitely a distinction between those who are relatively secure in their lives, and who get "offended" if you question that security, and those who are endangered and fighting for their own livelihood involves these sorts of social discussions. But I don't think we can broadly categorize who is "endangered" and who isn't, because then there is the danger of those who are secure claiming insecurity on the basis of a classification alone, and using it to deflect such aformentioned criticism. Such categories are revealed through struggle, not before or outside of it.

Re: Get Offended More (2020)

#56

Post by rcxdude »

z3dd wrote: post #47
_fat_santa wrote: post #34

Earlier quoted context omitted.

> I find avoiding sources of offense leads to a happier life. I was talking politics with my girlfriend last night and I made pretty much the same point, though more pointed at politics. My argument is that really the most important things in one's life is family, friends and your local community, everything else (such as national politics) might as well be a game show called "news" that everyone tunes into every day…

"The price good men pay for indifference to public affairs is to be ruled by evil men."

There's a difference between paying no attention to politics at all and avoiding getting wrapped up the angry day-to-day drama where you pay a large emotional price but your input matters zero.

Re: Get Offended More (2020)

#57

Post by ackfoobar »

wzdd wrote: post #42

> If you haven’t read the memo yourself, give it a read. Are you disagreeing, or are you offended? Damore's memo made very flimsy scientific arguments, supported uncritically by a couple of studies at best, from a field which is currently undergoing a replication crisis, to make sweeping criticism of a policy widely regarded as beneficial. The disagreement is obvious. The offense is that he would, apparently in good…

As far as I can tell, the psychology stuff Damore quoted (big five), replicate just fine. What fail are the stuff that we want to be true, e.g. growth mindset.
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