Didnt he cheat on wife with his PhD students, had numerous flings and flirted with other peoples wives ?
Not all couples subscribe to monogamy. There is no reason to be judgemental about this in the absence of other information.
Love after life: Richard Feynman's letter to his departed wife (2017)
51–60 of 132 posts
Re: Love after life: Richard Feynman's letter to his departed wife (2017)
#52Earlier quoted context omitted.
> It's just these criticisms are not generally welcomed or amplified for figures in the prime of their accolades. Which is an interesting subject itself, I think. Yes, this is a fair assessment. The criticisms are given voice and spread once the person falls in disgrace. They are sometimes declared "unpersons", which I find deeply irritating. I suppose this happens to artists or scientists nearer in time; nobody care…
Then again, plenty of times they are not declared unpersons nor treated horribly. Oftentimes just mentioning that this or that person did something bad at some points is enough for everyone to get outrage over "how dare you to say that". As in, criticism is silenced until it breaks.
> It's just these criticisms are not generally welcomed or amplified for figures in the prime of their accolades. Which is an interesting subject itself, I think.
I want to make clear that when someone commits a horrible crime (not a minor transgression) they should be held accountable. So rape/abuse/murder is horrible, being a bad husband/wife or an uncaring parent is bad but not "horrible", etc. Also, people are flawed, and everyone engages in bad behavior that wouldn't stand up to public criticism. Your mileage may vary, of course.
What I object to is canceling a person's work because of alleged crimes. People confuse "I don't like what it's alleged this person did in their personal life" with "this is not relevant art/science, I wish cinemas/schools/museums didn't mention this person anymore".
Re: Love after life: Richard Feynman's letter to his departed wife (2017)
#53Didnt he cheat on wife with his PhD students, had numerous flings and flirted with other peoples wives ?
I've read a lot about Feynman and have never read that. Would love to see a source.
Edit: Note that I have no opinion here, just answering someone's request for a source.
A cursory Google reveals...
> Neither were Feynman's escapades limited to bars; more than one of his biographies have documented affairs with two married women, at least one of which caused him considerable problems.[0]
Charlie Munger seems to be a source for claims that he would sleep with the wives of his undergrad students[2].
And then there are these passages[1], which appear to be from his own autobiography. This isn't necessarily cheating, but assuming that what he's written is true, they serve to make the accusations of infidelity more plausible.
> "... You must disrespect the girls. Furthermore, the very first rule is, don’t buy a girl anything –– not even a package of cigarettes — until you’ve asked her if she’ll sleep with you, and you’re convinced that she will, and that she’s not lying.”
>I adopted the attitude that those bar girls are all bitches, that they aren’t worth anything, and all they’re in there for is to get you to buy them a drink, and they’re not going to give you a goddamn thing; I’m not going to be a gentleman to such worthless bitches, and so on. I learned it till it was automatic.
>I think to myself, “Typical bitch: he’s buying her drinks, and she’s inviting somebody else to the table.”
>I stop suddenly and I say to her, “You… are worse than a WHORE! ... You got me to buy these sandwiches, and what am I going to get for it? Nothing!”
This Baffler[3] piece also focuses on this subject...
>He worked and held meetings in strip clubs, and while a professor at Cal Tech, he drew naked portraits of his female students.
>Even worse, perhaps, he pretended to be an undergraduate student to deceive younger women into sleeping with him. His second wife accused him of abuse, citing multiple occasions when he’d fly into a blind rage if she interrupted him while he was working or playing his bongos.
[0]https://blogs.scientificamerican.com/the-curious-wavefunctio...
[1]https://restructure.wordpress.com/2009/08/07/sexist-feynman-...
[2]https://www.physicsforums.com/threads/richard-feynman-a-woma...
[3]https://thebaffler.com/outbursts/surely-youre-a-creep-mr-fey...
Re: Love after life: Richard Feynman's letter to his departed wife (2017)
#54Very touching story.
> PS Please excuse my not mailing this — but I don’t know your new address.
Not out of character for how I always imagined his personality.
Re: Love after life: Richard Feynman's letter to his departed wife (2017)
#55Didnt he cheat on wife with his PhD students, had numerous flings and flirted with other peoples wives ?
Presumably, the allegations were during his second marriage. This letter was to his first wife. If the love of my life were to be cut down in the prime of her life, I imagine I'd be emotionally scarred for life. Sure, I'd make every effort to move on, but I just can't imagine the amount of emotional scar tissue that would remain permanently.
The second wife was the one that reported him to the FBI for being "a communist" or something like that?
Re: Love after life: Richard Feynman's letter to his departed wife (2017)
#56I never knew how to square this with stories about Feynman’s sexual predation. Were these two distinct phases of his life?
What stories about sexual predation? That is a pretty serious accusation that most of the other people in here haven’t heard, can you please explain?
The rumors and stories from himself suggest he was very successful at dating a lot of women, who were all consensual adults. Are you talking about something else?
Re: Love after life: Richard Feynman's letter to his departed wife (2017)
#57Earlier quoted context omitted.
This is a good summary example of something I find distinctly dangerous about the way people think of figures they don't personally know (i.e. how people on the social web treat public figures, or even just any stranger they see on the web). We see snapshots and assemble a person in our head. We can barely do that with any degree of fidelity regarding people we personally know , much less public figures. People do go…
The topic here specifically is his love life. If a person I personally knew was accused of half of what Feynman has been, I'd have second thoughts about inviting them over for dinner. If you're going to argue for a gradient of perspective while assessing the character of a person there are better examples than Feynman.
What is he accused of?
Re: Love after life: Richard Feynman's letter to his departed wife (2017)
#58Earlier quoted context omitted.
Then again, plenty of times they are not declared unpersons nor treated horribly. Oftentimes just mentioning that this or that person did something bad at some points is enough for everyone to get outrage over "how dare you to say that". As in, criticism is silenced until it breaks.
> It's just these criticisms are not generally welcomed or amplified for figures in the prime of their accolades. Which is an interesting subject itself, I think. I want to make clear that when someone commits a horrible crime (not a minor transgression) they should be held accountable. So rape/abuse/murder is horrible, being a bad husband/wife or an uncaring parent is bad but not "horrible", etc. Also, people are fl…
Saying he did X is not the same as cancelation. Also, if actual art piece is related to the real world acts, it is entirely fair to talk about it. Just like when we talk about political purposes of art.
There is also difference between "not mentioning person existed" and refusal to celebrate that person as hero or moral founder. Or just, putting contemporary complains about historical character into context. The "do not mention this person" is quite rare, actually. What people object about regarding cancelation is adding shade of grade to the person story or refusal to celebrate them.
Re: Love after life: Richard Feynman's letter to his departed wife (2017)
#59I never knew how to square this with stories about Feynman’s sexual predation. Were these two distinct phases of his life?
This is a good summary example of something I find distinctly dangerous about the way people think of figures they don't personally know (i.e. how people on the social web treat public figures, or even just any stranger they see on the web). We see snapshots and assemble a person in our head. We can barely do that with any degree of fidelity regarding people we personally know , much less public figures. People do go…
I find the best antidote for this unfortunate way of thinking is imagining the individual passing gas. It's impossible to not see someone as human when they are farting.
Re: Love after life: Richard Feynman's letter to his departed wife (2017)
#60I never knew how to square this with stories about Feynman’s sexual predation. Were these two distinct phases of his life?
These stories surround virtually all successful straight men. Even Garrison Keillor, as mild mannered as they come, got taken down for it.
We are simultaneously told that women are equal to men, and yet we also are told there are male predators and womanizers who women need special protection against.
This dismisses women's sexual agency. Specifically that women may choose, consciously, to exploit their sexual attractiveness to get something from a man.
If women don't have agency, i.e. men can manipulate them into damaging sexual relationships which they are helpless to avoid, this posits women as less than equals to men, as men are expected to stand up for themselves when someone attempts to manipulate them.