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Everything You Can’t Have

collabfund.com

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Re: Everything You Can’t Have

#51

Post by jehb »

thesausageking wrote: post #29

Why do VCs write these kinds of generic, life advice columns?

Why did you write this comment?

My intent in asking isn't just to be dismissive, but rather to point out that there are complex, overlapping reasons. It can be incredibly difficult to even pinpoint your own motivations, to say nothing of those of others.

A simplistic answer might be "because they want to have their thoughts read by others." Beyond that could be altruism, a desire for notoriety, wanting to change behavior, or many other intermingled goals. Most likely, the author didn't even consider "why" but rather, like all of us, just felt an intrinsic need to be heard. See also: social media.

Re: Everything You Can’t Have

#52

Post by zdragnar »

subpixel wrote: post #42
pdimitar wrote: post #33

Earlier quoted context omitted.

> What’s the benefit of being rich then? Freedom. Owning better material items is only meant to facilitate freedom. I'm not a collector and never will be, even if I inherit two billion bucks tomorrow. Examples: - I'll get an expensive bike so me and my wife can go on an impulsive picnic in the outskirts of the city. - I'll get an extra house in rural France so we're free to go there if we need the scenery for a few w…

It is on them, but they are legion. That matters, because they influence the direction of our society on many levels. It’s not inaccurate to say American culture is a product of a rich and unhappy worldview.

You need to define American culture, which is no trivial thing. It's like saying "European culture"- just vague generalizations that fit whatever lazy stereotype you prefer

Re: Everything You Can’t Have

#53

Post by scns »

borroka wrote: post #50

This is a misleading article that, with its mundane look at the world, tries to provide a "gotcha" that does not seem to exist except in the minds of someone who tries to find "gotchas" everywhere, as the author does. Do you want a new and better car? Actually, you don't want a Ferrari, you want dopamine. Do you feel attracted to someone younger, better looking, funnier, more interesting than your current partner? Th…

Money won't provide happiness, but it is more fun to cry in a cab than in the subway.

Re: Everything You Can’t Have

#54

Post by plastic3169 »

pdimitar wrote: post #48

Rich people getting bored and unhappy is 200% on them and them only. I know of no less than 7 separate things I'd lose myself into -- all related to inventing stuff -- that I actually would be afraid if I'll be giving my wife enough attention. That's how active I would be if I didn't have to worry about a job and a salary. I know other people like myself as well, some more obsessed and downright hyperactive even. Peo…

You are right it’s 100% on them to sort their life out. Like your 8 acquaintances I think most people are very unsuited for riches atleast until they adjust. Also almost all people think they themselves would be great managing that situation. It’s like imagining you will be great parent before you have kids. Or the famous quote, Everybody has a plan before they get punched in the mouth.

Life change like that affects your whole life from there on 24/7. In a way you cannot actively decide how you will act. You will probably fall back to your inner default way of reacting to things, but your life is subtly changed.

The things that were great passions when you always lacked time to properly get in to them might turn out to be just another job when you start doing them more. Holiday trip might mean nothing if your not having a break from anything. Ventures in easy mode without risk might feel stale. All consumption is pointless anyway. Maybe all tinkering is as well? Etc.

Re: Everything You Can’t Have

#55

Post by AlbertCory »

coldtea wrote: post #32
keymon-o wrote: post #19

Earlier quoted context omitted.

> There is a “mindfulness” angle. Instead of taking it always for granted, pay attention and make time enjoy your stuff. Being satisfied with what you have is what “poor” people (people who can’t have everything) do in order to be happy. What’s the benefit of being rich then?

> Being satisfied with what you have is what “poor” people (people who can’t have everything) do in order to be happy. What’s the benefit of being rich then? It's the ability to do what you want with your time, and to (increasingly with more wealth) say fuck you to people who try to force you into this or that. It's also the increased ability to change things (for you, others, your city, or even your whole country) t…

A phrase there that needs amplifying: here's an un-original quote

What the point of having fuck-you money, if you never say 'fuck you'?

Re: Everything You Can’t Have

#56

Post by amelius »

tmshu1 wrote: post #38
amelius wrote: post #3

Earlier quoted context omitted.

How do you trick your brain into this? How do you ignore friends who buy a new car every year?

What stops you from just ignoring them?

Are you suggesting to ignore friends/family? What if they offer you a car ride, and start bragging about their car? Not just once, but over and over. And they have a Bentley, and you have a second hand Toyota? How are serious mind tricks not necessary here to keep your sanity?

Re: Everything You Can’t Have

#57

Post by mantas »

rippercushions wrote: post #10

Spend money on experiences, not things: shows, concerts, meals, travel. Rarely if ever have I regretted spending money on one, and nobody can take them away from you later.

Frequently the thing is a proxy to experiences. E.g. a bicycle, kitchen utensils, a plot of land to grow a garden in, music instruments... You get the idea.

Meanwhile many „experiences“ is just staring at others or consuming prepared products. Don't get me wrong, it's nice to find out what other people did. But making/doing stuff yourself is much more rewardable in the long run. On top of that, we've to provide experiences to people around us as well. Not just consume experiences provided by others.

Re: Everything You Can’t Have

#58

Post by borroka »

scns wrote: post #53
borroka wrote: post #50

This is a misleading article that, with its mundane look at the world, tries to provide a "gotcha" that does not seem to exist except in the minds of someone who tries to find "gotchas" everywhere, as the author does. Do you want a new and better car? Actually, you don't want a Ferrari, you want dopamine. Do you feel attracted to someone younger, better looking, funnier, more interesting than your current partner? Th…

Money won't provide happiness, but it is more fun to cry in a cab than in the subway.

Most (all?) of these topics need to be approached in terms of probabilities, not absolutes. More money makes it more likely to be happier, enjoy life more, or have fewer insurmountable problems. It is a truism.

Now, after how much money we reach a plateau for the outcome being considered (happiness, the best care in case of illness, sending children to the best colleges, traveling the world in 80 days), whether there are trade-offs between the money obtained and the ways of obtaining the money are examples of topics that may be more interesting, and they are all context-dependent. But if someone wants to give me money as a gift and makes me choose between $10 million and $50 million, I choose $50 million. And I might have the temerity to ask if there is by any chance also the possibility of getting $100 million.

And it is the same for all positive traits or qualities, which are, in fact, considered positive because they make it more likely to achieve the goal being talked about.

Then we can discuss more interesting matters of trade-offs and let people like the author of the article enjoy a nap instead of offering the usual trivial contentions with his writings.

Re: Everything You Can’t Have

#59

Post by mantas »

amelius wrote: post #56
tmshu1 wrote: post #38

Earlier quoted context omitted.

What stops you from just ignoring them?

Are you suggesting to ignore friends/family? What if they offer you a car ride, and start bragging about their car? Not just once, but over and over. And they have a Bentley, and you have a second hand Toyota? How are serious mind tricks not necessary here to keep your sanity?

What's the problem? Tell the truth that it is indeed a nice car.

If you have sanity issues because you ain't driving the nicest car in town... Maybe that's the core issue? Why do you place so much importance on having the nicest car? Vast majority of people do not give a damn what others drive/wear/whatever.

Re: Everything You Can’t Have

#60

Post by pdimitar »

plastic3169 wrote: post #54
pdimitar wrote: post #48

Rich people getting bored and unhappy is 200% on them and them only. I know of no less than 7 separate things I'd lose myself into -- all related to inventing stuff -- that I actually would be afraid if I'll be giving my wife enough attention. That's how active I would be if I didn't have to worry about a job and a salary. I know other people like myself as well, some more obsessed and downright hyperactive even. Peo…

You are right it’s 100% on them to sort their life out. Like your 8 acquaintances I think most people are very unsuited for riches atleast until they adjust. Also almost all people think they themselves would be great managing that situation. It’s like imagining you will be great parent before you have kids. Or the famous quote, Everybody has a plan before they get punched in the mouth. Life change like that affects…

Getting a vacation when you have no job indeed sounds funny and meaningless, yes, but we also need a change of scenery every now and then, regardless of our level of wealth. It's a basic and universal human trait.

And maybe I'll get tired of the tinkering I want to do now (but can't). I'd still like to find out if that's the case.

There are creative pursuits that can take a lifetime however. Eventually you will find and choose what to consume you.

My main point is that there is a subset of humans who can never be bored. And it seems that it has no intersection with rich people. If that's indeed true (which I doubt; the world is not so black and white) it would be interesting to find out why.

In the end, we all need meaning and some struggle. Shame that most rich people choose to struggle over petty stuff like who has the most expensive watch or who will sleep with the youngest legal boy/girl on that party, or whatever else that signals status.

Shame on them that not even one of them tried to become Ironman or Batman.

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