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Ask HN: What do you talk about in 1-on-1s with your managers?

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Re: Ask HN: What do you talk about in 1-on-1s with your managers?

#52
If you are happy working on your own and you don't need weekly 1:1s or support from your manager, feel free to suggest bi-weekly meetings. That's what I do with my manager. We usually talk about how my current projects are going, what projects are coming up in the future. I also explain new methods or tricks I have discovered and we discuss if or how this could benefit others in our team.

Re: Ask HN: What do you talk about in 1-on-1s with your managers?

#53
post #25

First we talk about our Home Assistant setups and how we're using HA to chart and improve our houses. Then we discus how the kids are doing in school and in general (they're of similar age, have similar issues). Then, in the last 20 min or so, we turns to work and she asks about the things she wrote down last time (is this still the same, has it improved?), she asks if I'm still happy doing what I'm doing, what she c…

I also do something similar with my manager on a monthly basis. It's nice to just chat for a while, but I also really value the opportunity to discuss my work and career progression. From what I've read elsewhere, this is a pretty well regarded way to handle these.

Re: Ask HN: What do you talk about in 1-on-1s with your managers?

#54
post #7

These have always been an enormous waste of time from my perspective. They only serve to make a manager feel like they know what everyone is doing, all the time. Anything process-wise should be handled through scrum. Anything personal can be handled with ad-hoc 1-on-1 meetings as needed, but should be pretty rare. 1-on-1s for process really do harm to transparency and accountability. If I had a nickel for every time…

So I think this may be true for most, but as someone with awful workplace anxiety from shitty workplaces in the past it helps me tremendously to have touchpoints to hear that I'm doing ok and that my manager doesn't have any critiques/etc. This probably isn't the norm, so I think a middle ground of giving people the option to 1v1 makes sense.

Re: Ask HN: What do you talk about in 1-on-1s with your managers?

#55
post #49

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Wait WHAT. Who is standing up then?! Just the workers? haha That is hilarious. If you never had the stand up again, do you think anything would change in your day-to-day?

It's common for standups to be attended only by workers. They're a forum for open lateral communication, not communication up the ladder. As soon as you add management into the mix, people get cagey and the standup becomes less effective.

To expand on the idea a bit here, I thought the point was like a huddle between plays for the players. Yes, there should be a communication line out of the huddle to get information and such, but by and large the idea is to empower the team to do things the way that they think it needs doing.

Re: Ask HN: What do you talk about in 1-on-1s with your managers?

#56
As a manager, here is what I usually want to discuss:

- No detailed work stuff. That's not for this meeting

- How are you doing overall in the company/team etc ? (I am looking to understand if you still want to be with us and if not, why not)

- What is working well so far that wants you to keep doing what you do. This should come from both sides

- What is not working well that you need help with so that you can do better. This should come from both sides

- Are you on the right path in the team/company ?

- As the manager, what can I do better which I don't do today ? This can be tricky but I want honest answers and I give honest answers to expect the same.

Most importantly: 1:1 is more about the person, the individual and not the output as an employee.

Re: Ask HN: What do you talk about in 1-on-1s with your managers?

#58
I use my 1-1 in several ways

A) Get info from my manager that they don’t necessarily want broadcast (speculation/uncommitted plans, inside perspective on what went down on something, etc…). Depends on the manager and your relationship, but I’d say 75%+ of my managers have been willing to give me info 1-1 that I wouldn’t get in a large setting.

B) Updates/discussions about side projects or other things that don’t fit into our other forums- putting together the holiday party, interviews, putting together team training, wild prototype/hackathon projects etc…

C) Advice on non-technical problems- “I’m trying to engage bob’s team for help, but their responses are very slow.”

D) Feedback and coaching- “I thought our delivery of X went well, but I missed Y’s dependency on us. Any thoughts on how I/we could have done better?”

E) Socializing/ relationship building. If you can, bond with that person, share stories about vacations/kids/ interests. My job can be a bit lonely and some days just talking can be the best use of time

F) Nothing- totally fine if we cancel our 1-1 occasionally, especially if we’ve already had ad hoc meetings.

Re: Ask HN: What do you talk about in 1-on-1s with your managers?

#59

Earlier quoted context omitted.

My management do not attend standup and I prefer it that way.

Wait WHAT. Who is standing up then?! Just the workers? haha That is hilarious. If you never had the stand up again, do you think anything would change in your day-to-day?

I know almost no one does this, but the absolute best standup meetings I've experienced have meeting of the just workers, by just the workers, to let just the workers know what's going on around them so they can self-direct.

The addition of management always turns it into a status update.

Re: Ask HN: What do you talk about in 1-on-1s with your managers?

#60
For the first time in many years, I have a manager who doesn't cancel 1:1s, provides us autonomy to do our work, and gives specific feedback.

Our 1:1 structure is based off the CEO's suggested 1:1 format[1] and was something I put together because I wanted more structure. From what I've heard, members of my team have different formats with the same manager.

1. Check-In - personal check-ins on life

2. Discuss/Help/Review - items I need my manager to help or advice with, issues we need to discuss, or updates on projects related to OKRs

3. FYI/Think - items I'm thinking about or working on that manager may not be aware of. We don't always vocalize this section, sometimes its there for me to showcase things I'm considered e.g I think it would be cool to work on X, but I don't have a plan yet.

4. What’s going well: a celebration or something to my credit

5. What could go better: item that could've gone better

6. Action Items: any TODO items for myself or manager

When there isn't a lot to discuss due to a quiet week or larger projects ongoing, my manager will check in on how I feel about my role, work, and capacity. It's helpful because I often get caught up in the day to day and it's hel,pful

[1]https://about.gitlab.com/handbook/leadership/1-1/suggested-a...

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