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Many single Japanese people in their 20s have never been on a date – survey

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Re: Many single Japanese people in their 20s have never been on a date – survey

#51

Post by Hamuko »

bombcar wrote: post #40
projektfu wrote: post #27

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I got the impression it meant a meeting for the intention of initiating a romantic (presexual) relationship. Like going to dinner alone together instead of with a group of friends. They mention later that Japanese culture is more group-social than, presumably, the author's culture, and perhaps couples can have spent a lot of time together before calling it a date.

Aren't the Japanese big on "mixers" where you get equal numbers of guys and gals together for dinner/drinks - and a date would only be if you hit it off at one? Of course there are other ways to get a date, but I suspect they have a pretty defined meaning for it.

The original whitepaper uses the term デート (transliteration of English "date") for the data, and I've understood the Japanese to consider that different from a mixer (合コン), and that a "date" is a one-on-one activity/outing with someone you're romantically interested in.

Re: Many single Japanese people in their 20s have never been on a date – survey

#52

Post by RajT88 »

alephnan wrote: post #35

Statistically, this is not surprising. In the West, especially a place like NYC, it is common to go on dozens of date with different people, to find the perfect partner. But first, just casual meeting and friends, getting to know each other. That culture is not common in Japan. Of course some HN poster will provide counter anecdata, but their datapoint is already selecting for a different demographic than the greater…

Indeed, I wonder given the different culture in play here:

-What is the "normal" number of single men in Japan in their 20's who have never been on a date? What was that number in the 80's?" -What is the current number of married men and women in Japan who have never been on a date? Omiai is a thing, but allegedly only single digit percentages of marriage rates. -To what degree are these "never been on a date" numbers skewed by people lying out of shame? What are the real numbers?

Re: Many single Japanese people in their 20s have never been on a date – survey

#54

Post by LeanderK »

necessary wrote: post #33
yur3i__ wrote: post #25

I'm 22 and have never been on a date or anything resembling one. I'm not too worried about it, though the potential "skill gap" (for lack of a better word) with future partners does concern me a bit I have to admit.

Honestly there's not much to worry about a "skill-gap" either. It's cliche but being the true and authentic version of yourself (and being self-aware if you need to make improvements on that version of yourself - your authentic self can't be a jerk) is the best way to make both friends and romantic partners. Maybe it's different for hookups, but IMHO romantic relationships don't work like they do in the movies.

I think the skill-gap is not really in being in a romantic relationship but getting one. The skills of being in a successful relationship are similar to the skills of having close friends imo, just more intense. You need to handle conflicts and keep the relationship going. But relationships usually don't last forever, they tend to end. The skill to develop a romantic relationship, from start to finish, is quite important and hard to learn. I think this is where a lot of the skill-gap is located.

Re: Many single Japanese people in their 20s have never been on a date – survey

#56

Post by natly »

didip wrote: post #43

The government and the media keep freaking out about birth rate declining but made no attempts in fixing the poor working conditions in Japan. Who wants to date, marry, or have kids if you can barely live your life?

Even elon strangely dismissed that obvious cause when it was pointed out under his pinned tweet https://twitter.com/BillyM2k/status/1529125347148455937 (elons explanation doesn't make any sense).

Re: Many single Japanese people in their 20s have never been on a date – survey

#57

Post by rpmisms »

sequoia wrote: post #50

How have ~5% of married men never been on a date? Is the chart just imprecise?

I am married, never dated in the normal sense. Met a girl, spent time doing normal things with her, we decided we got along well enough to get married. Coming up on three years, seems to work pretty well.

Re: Many single Japanese people in their 20s have never been on a date – survey

#59

Post by willismichael »

fristechill wrote: post #37

Equally disturbing is the fact that many married men are being encouraged to participate in a permanent state of ersatz courtship known as 'date nights'. What's the point of getting married if you still have to go on dates? https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mm1HgQbXFEE

What's the point of owning a home if you still have to pay for maintenance?

What's the point of graduating from college if you still have to put effort into developing your skills?

Re: Many single Japanese people in their 20s have never been on a date – survey

#60

Post by bpodgursky »

natly wrote: post #56
didip wrote: post #43

The government and the media keep freaking out about birth rate declining but made no attempts in fixing the poor working conditions in Japan. Who wants to date, marry, or have kids if you can barely live your life?

Even elon strangely dismissed that obvious cause when it was pointed out under his pinned tweet https://twitter.com/BillyM2k/status/1529125347148455937 (elons explanation doesn't make any sense).

These are fairly different arguments. Japan's working hours are traditionally brutal - 12 hours a day, 6-7 days a week. Plus mandatory "happy" hours.

It's often a financially comfortable life; but there's 0 flexibility to find an employer that allows a 9-5 workday, even if you're willing to take a pay cut.

Elon is saying that high-paid professionals in the US have fewer children than the lower-middle class, which is absolutely true. Doctors, lawyers, and engineers are far below replacement fertility.

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