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I'm 36 and often ask myself, what did I do?
My parents had kids with 20.
My father and grandfather were managers with 25.
I met a bunch of people who founded a company before they were 20.
Friends of mine traveled from Europe to East Asia as hitchhikers in their 20s.
Many of my fellow students work for FAANG. Two are CTOs at middle sized companies and one is even a professor at university.
In contrast to that I always feel like a slacker.
Sounds a lot like ADHD to me tbh.
New puppy's behavior is easily confused as such. It's closer to the truth that we're probably just not supposed to live this way.
I think ADHD is a genetic trait that was evolutionarily selected for, and individuals with it made effective explorers, inventors, and creators, providing substantial benefit to humanity. It is an explorer's gene, though society today finds little value in that.
It's so frustrating and incredibly heartbreaking because I think people with ADHD are 100% totally valid in their own right, as it is likely an adaptive trait [1, 2], and yet our society has abandoned them as disabled.
[1]: "ADHD as a disorder of adaptation" - https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/9401328/
[2]: "ADHD sucks, but not really | Salif Mahamane | TEDxUSU" - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fWCocjh5aK0
There's something cross cultural here that just doesn't cross. I can't relate. I'm responsible for me - my success, my failures. I also sure as hell better check on my neighbour and lend a hand. Fulfilment comes from within, not externally. Results driven fulfilment comes from the gradual achievement of small goals, slowly combining into larger goals. They can be as small, as simple as reading a book. The best advice…
What's external and what's internal?
Where do your desires come from? Your hopes?
Some people think they are the masters of their mind, that what they feel come from them, but what about the influence of their parents, their friends, the movies they watch, the books they read, advertising, music, social media?
We swim in a cultural ocean where things that seem on the inside might have actually come from the outside.
That's if there's even an actual distinction between inside and outside in the first place.
"Get a win, then get another win."
Is winning the point? What if someone doesn't care about winning?
The problem with many people today, is that their only measure of success is whether they are a success in the eyes of others, often strangers or people they don't even care about. Find out what you really want, don't care what others think. This way it's much more realistic to have success, and you will probably also be much happier. I don't think many would want to be a CEO if they didn't care what others think.
One thing that changed for me last year was that I finally got the passion to get through that list of random topics I wanted to get through without the pretense of trying to prove anything to anyone. It really did work, even though the feeling towards those pretenses still linger a bit.
Here on HN, there was once something that stuck along with me, on an article about how people found success in one-person companies. One said that he did what he needed to do and then just find what could be sold from that. It's a simple statement, but what it says lacks that pretense of finding the truth in something, like finding success in other people or even unattainable quality of work.
I also figured out quite recently that, never compare yourself to anyone because there is always going to be someone far better than you. Far luckier than you.
I was binge watching a YouTube channel called "Geoguesser". Self explanatory. I was mesmerized by how skilled he was. Even if he was thrown into a literal no where, he was fairly accurate in his guess.
Then I watched him compete with other people. He is good but he was no where as good as the other competitors. My reality was shattered. He is not a miracle but he was just skilled at a niche, that's all. There are better guessers but they were not miracles either they were more skilled AND more lucky.
So the pursuit of skills and ambition never stops. It is not a thirst, it is greed. So stop comparing, embrace the mediocrity and convince yourself you are better. Start by finding the small things that makes you better than most.
my idea of success, in order: 1. financial independence (enough passive income not to work if i prefer) 2. own my own home (large enough to grow a family) 3. have a family In my mid 30s, pretty much given up on 3 and 2, as 3 depends on 2. So I am just left with 1 to aim for.
2. and 3. are totally independent from each other, both are made easier by No. 1 so.
Just a general advice, if I may dare, stop putting those things in order, relax and let some things in live just happen. And enjoy the journey as much as possible.
Obviously, that advice only works if you are living in a stable environment. If you don't priorities are going to be topped by, worst case, living to see the next day.
Earlier quoted context omitted.
And theres even more less privileged who cant take a risk because they dont have anything to catch them when they fail.
Of course. As someone who ticks most boxes on the privilege checklist I can witness first hand how much easier that has made my life compared to several of my friends and colleagues who ticked far fewer boxes. At the same time I've known people from even more privileged backgrounds than me completely fuck their lives. So while coming from a 'privileged' background is important, and perhaps even necessary, in becoming…
> is far from the determining factor.
Pick one. There is a reason why low class kids are heavily underrepresented and high class privileged kids are highly overrepresented among VC-backed founders.
Earlier quoted context omitted.
Elon Musk was born privileged and is probably wrong about a whole bunch of things. I don't think it's an appropriate or useful point of comaprison.
Elon Musk was born privileged Only relatively speaking. There are a whole lot of people grew up with a hell of a lot more "privilege" than Musk and who have accomplished far far less.
Better car? With all this money and influence personalities like that could shape for much better future - livable, walkable cities, public transport, social guarantees.
Private cars in private tunnels for the rich? Is this what we call "achievement"? "There will be no traffic jams in LA because I will be riging my car in private tunnel"?
Rocket's are super cool. Then again a lot of people would argue that instead of aiming for the Mars we should aim to fix Eath's problems - climate, pollution etc.
Depending on how you look, Musk is actually who accomplished far far less. Just made the world better for individualist rich men not much more. Growing up rich and just spending inherited money on expensive stuff might be better for the human race in the end.
There's something cross cultural here that just doesn't cross. I can't relate. I'm responsible for me - my success, my failures. I also sure as hell better check on my neighbour and lend a hand. Fulfilment comes from within, not externally. Results driven fulfilment comes from the gradual achievement of small goals, slowly combining into larger goals. They can be as small, as simple as reading a book. The best advice…
"I'm responsible for me - my success, my failures... Fulfilment comes from within, not externally." What's external and what's internal? Where do your desires come from? Your hopes? Some people think they are the masters of their mind, that what they feel come from them, but what about the influence of their parents, their friends, the movies they watch, the books they read, advertising, music, social media? We swim…
Not OP but I interpret “win” in this context to mean something more like “success” and not strictly about winning or beating someone else.
It’s certainly a turn of phrase that I’ve heard used in that context a fair amount.
I was expecting to resonate more with this article, but found that the writer really hadn't been doing much. I often complain to my girlfriend that I've got nothing done, and then she asks what I've done... and it turns out I've actually done a lot. I'm currently splitting my days between regular contract work producing videos (first two hours of the day, 7am-9am), and then after a short break I spend the rest of the…