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When families un-adopt a child (2018)

theatlantic.com

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Re: When families un-adopt a child (2018)

#51

Post by BadCookie »

spaetzleesser wrote: post #18
ipaddr wrote: post #16

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Advertising to the biggest audience means the greater the choice between parents for the kid. This isn't a bad strategy. If more people got facebook ads for kids they could adopt there would be more placement. The privacy question is based on permission from the parent. Many kids model and similiar bios would be available in that setting available publically.

“If more people got facebook ads for kids they could adopt there would be more placement.” I remember talking to a couple who had adopted a child. They told me that there would be more placement if the process wasn’t as difficult and insanely expensive as it is now. A lot of people who want to adopt a child are basically forced to go to foreign countries because it’s too hard at home in the US. No need for Facebook a…

Adopting a healthy infant is difficult and expensive because there is more demand for these babies than supply. We don’t need more adoptive families for heathy infants. Adopting an older child is a different situation entirely. It sounds like you are describing a family who was pursuing a healthy infant exclusively.

Re: When families un-adopt a child (2018)

#52

Post by axiomsEnd »

addaon wrote: post #35
song wrote: post #19

Earlier quoted context omitted.

This kind of sounds like the parents joined a cult... The secluded life, leaving extended family... Of course, pure speculation, but this way of writing reminds me of what I've heard in the past from people in cults.

Or left a cult...

It sounds a bit like being shunned from some controlling church.

Re: When families un-adopt a child (2018)

#53

Post by fisherjeff »

Borrible wrote: post #17

Every offer finds a demand. https://www.reuters.com/investigates/adoption/#article/part1

“…the Internet is a reflection of society, and people are using it for all kinds of communications and to tackle all sorts of problems, including very complicated issues such as this one.”

I don’t even know where to begin here.

Re: When families un-adopt a child (2018)

#54

Post by Ekaros »

addaon wrote: post #35
song wrote: post #19

Earlier quoted context omitted.

This kind of sounds like the parents joined a cult... The secluded life, leaving extended family... Of course, pure speculation, but this way of writing reminds me of what I've heard in the past from people in cults.

Or left a cult...

I wonder if the girl would also need some de-programming... Might be situation where parents want to get away, but girl is still into it.

Re: When families un-adopt a child (2018)

#56

Post by [deleted] »

gambiting wrote: post #45
ratww wrote: post #30

Earlier quoted context omitted.

There is a link on the article that provides a few more details. https://wiaa.org/child/reese-placed/ > This is a child with no special needs but wants to be in a family who goes to church. She loves to sing praise songs and read her Bible. She and her parents want her to be in a family that does this. She gets along with everyone and has no major behavioral problems. Her parents want her to be in a family that is in…

That's still crazy. A 10 year old's opinion on this should be humoured, but not to the extent where they put her up for adoption.

[deleted]

Re: When families un-adopt a child (2018)

#57

Post by warner25 »

adauctus wrote: post #50

Adoptive parent here. I read this before I adopted, and it didn’t make any sense to me then. Having now adopted, I’m willing to make a value judgement and say this absolutely horrific. It induces horror. I’m my kid’s parent.

Horrific, but I'm not surprised this happens. I have four biological kids. I know that parenting is hard. That's actually an understatement. I've often wondered how much harder it is when you don't have the biological connection and evolutionary drive to help slog through the hardest parts. To be very candid, I have moments where I feel like having kids was a bad decision, but I know that I'd still give my life for them. I can only speculate about how adoptive parents might feel at the hardest times.

Edited to add: I guess biological parents are the ones putting kids up for adoption in the first place, obviously. So the biological connection and evolutionary drive doesn't do much for some people.

Re: When families un-adopt a child (2018)

#58

Post by MomoXenosaga »

curioussavage wrote: post #47
kingcharles wrote: post #26

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Wow. It is alarmingly easy to offload your child. People are adopting children because they look cute without understanding why the child was available for adoption in the first place. Usually it is because they have such deep mental health problems that they need a very time-consuming and expensive amount of care to bring their quality of life up to something reasonable. It's very sad for these children, and it's no…

It is terrible. My parents were foster parents to two girls at different times. One was from a foreign country and had been previously adopted. A history of abuse and fetal alcohol syndrome meant lots of behavioral issues. We ended up all getting locks on our bedroom doors. It was extremely stressful and gives me some sympathy for the family that originally adopted her. Goes without saying that the kids get worst par…

Foreign adoption agencies are usually a nice income for poor countries. Turns out the "orphan" has parents who are still very much alive.

Parents want cute babies and toddlers to adopt not 10 year old local kids from abusive homes.

Re: When families un-adopt a child (2018)

#59

Post by Ekaros »

gene91 wrote: post #12
tpmx wrote: post #5

I just can't get over the fact that it's somehow legal in the US to advertise young children for adoption on the (public) web, complete with portrait photos and descriptions of their personalities and backgrounds.

What’s the alternative? I assume that you’re not suggesting that one signs up for adoption and gets assigned a random child. So the alternative is agents with access to the inventory (children) and clients (potential parents). I don’t understand why that’s better than letting clients browsing inventory by themselves.

I have no issue with clients browsing inventory. But for privacy reasons that inventory should be very well controlled. Preferably in person. So no online access.

Re: When families un-adopt a child (2018)

#60

Post by bigcat123 »

warner25 wrote: post #57
adauctus wrote: post #50

Adoptive parent here. I read this before I adopted, and it didn’t make any sense to me then. Having now adopted, I’m willing to make a value judgement and say this absolutely horrific. It induces horror. I’m my kid’s parent.

Horrific, but I'm not surprised this happens. I have four biological kids. I know that parenting is hard. That's actually an understatement. I've often wondered how much harder it is when you don't have the biological connection and evolutionary drive to help slog through the hardest parts. To be very candid, I have moments where I feel like having kids was a bad decision, but I know that I'd still give my life for t…

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