The pandemic has deepened an epidemic of loneliness • Hacker News Board

Re: The pandemic has deepened an epidemic of loneliness

#51

Post by arthur_sav » Tue, Dec 07, 2021, 3:04 PM UTC

jbrun wrote: post #4

It's a bit paradoxical. I have a tech company and most staff want to come to the office 1 day a week. Getting them to come is very tough. Many of my staff and friends don't want to have kids, make no effort to find a partner and find all sorts of excuses. Netflix, the internet and these things are part of the problem, but I have no clue what the solution is. There is only one way to not be lonely - be with people who…

We've lost the community aspect. Previously, communities were essential for survival but nowadays it's easier than ever to be independent.

Work remote from your computer. Buy food, water, sex and get dopamine hits from social media.

When you don't really need anyone, it's hard to be vulnerable and try to open up to new people. So here we are, we have everything at our fingertips and yet we're empty.

Re: The pandemic has deepened an epidemic of loneliness

#52

Post by mp3k » Tue, Dec 07, 2021, 3:05 PM UTC

dahak27 wrote: post #25

mp3k wrote: post #9

Just don't be poor and have sex.

Is there a correlation between wealth and loneliness? I could definitely imagine it being effect for the poorest in society but I wouldn't be surprised if, once you've reached a threshold of being able to keep your head above water, money and loneliness had very little relationship if at all

Yes Its about time. If you dont have time for your relationships they fade away.

So if you must work, thats lots of time not invested in your contacts.

Re: The pandemic has deepened an epidemic of loneliness

#53

Post by dfxm12 » Tue, Dec 07, 2021, 3:05 PM UTC

newaccount2021 wrote: post #5

people are married to work, get their gratification from porn and buying things downside: no one to talk to

people are married to work

Yeah, a few of the other comments assume that the office is the only place you can find companionship. That's an issue. Just like it's smart to set up boundaries between your WFH area and your rest and relaxation area, you need a set of friends outside of your coworkers as well.

Re: The pandemic has deepened an epidemic of loneliness

#54

Post by vertak » Tue, Dec 07, 2021, 3:05 PM UTC

It says in the abstract that this data is preliminary, and the size of the sample was 950 American adults. I don’t think we can take much away from this study, except that it deserves further investigation.

Re: The pandemic has deepened an epidemic of loneliness

#55

Post by User23 » Tue, Dec 07, 2021, 3:06 PM UTC

dahak27 wrote: post #25

mp3k wrote: post #9

Just don't be poor and have sex.

Is there a correlation between wealth and loneliness? I could definitely imagine it being effect for the poorest in society but I wouldn't be surprised if, once you've reached a threshold of being able to keep your head above water, money and loneliness had very little relationship if at all

Also being sufficiently poor. If you and everyone you know live off government assistance then that leaves plenty of time for social activities.

Re: The pandemic has deepened an epidemic of loneliness

#56

Post by zaptheimpaler » Tue, Dec 07, 2021, 3:06 PM UTC

jollybean wrote: post #41

mrdoops wrote: post #14

Earlier quoted context omitted.

They need stable, actionable futures. Homes they can afford to own, communities they can raise kids in, an environment that won't go up in flames; they need systems that have their back.

I'm sympathetic to the later part, but first part not what they want. They want the dynamism of being able to change jobs and careers, they all want the opportunity for career progression which for the most part isn't there (it's always been competitive). That means more risk and all the things that come along with it. I think even 'remote work' will have a serious of consequences we're not ready to accept, which is…

> If someone literally can't show up for work ... then they're generally going to be seen as more easily replaced or changed around.

Remote is the _only_ option for 90% of great jobs if you live anywhere outside a few big tech hubs.

Re: The pandemic has deepened an epidemic of loneliness

#57

Post by SQueeeeeL » Tue, Dec 07, 2021, 3:06 PM UTC

jollybean wrote: post #41

mrdoops wrote: post #14

Earlier quoted context omitted.

They need stable, actionable futures. Homes they can afford to own, communities they can raise kids in, an environment that won't go up in flames; they need systems that have their back.

I'm sympathetic to the later part, but first part not what they want. They want the dynamism of being able to change jobs and careers, they all want the opportunity for career progression which for the most part isn't there (it's always been competitive). That means more risk and all the things that come along with it. I think even 'remote work' will have a serious of consequences we're not ready to accept, which is…

https://www.ted.com/talks/simon_sinek_why_good_leaders_make_...

This talk really changed my thought process on careers. Basically every corporation in America is fundamentally unstable to work for, where you COULD be laid off for essentially arbitrary fiscal goals. That instability makes it impossible to trust your leaders (i.e. the company) to actually support you. As long as the people who pay your salary don't think long term about organizational health, people will be forced to play games and constantly job hop.

Re: The pandemic has deepened an epidemic of loneliness

#58

Post by panaffa » Tue, Dec 07, 2021, 3:06 PM UTC

JKCalhoun wrote: post #12

newaccount2021 wrote: post #5

people are married to work, get their gratification from porn and buying things downside: no one to talk to

> buying things I definitely see this.

I buy things to fill my own emptiness. Currently the most exciting thing in my life is waiting for my stupid meaningless iPad to ship.

Re: The pandemic has deepened an epidemic of loneliness

#59

Post by papito » Tue, Dec 07, 2021, 3:07 PM UTC

What's striking to me is that it also deepened the supply of assholes. One would think that after one year under effective house arrest people would be happy to see others and be nicer to each other, but the opposite is true.

Re: The pandemic has deepened an epidemic of loneliness

#60

Post by peruvian » Tue, Dec 07, 2021, 3:08 PM UTC

api wrote: post #45

One of the things I blame is the decline of youth culture. When I was in high school and college (late 90s - early 2000s) we had all these youth "scenes" like goths, ravers, gen-X style hippies, garage band scenes, hip hop, underground punk, and so on. The standard formula was music plus style plus some kind of group bonding activity like dancing, playing music, going outside, etc. Drugs were pretty often involved to…

> Maybe I just don't know, but this stuff really seems dead. I've spent some time digging out of curiosity and I've never found a hint of anything similar today. It seems like it all moved online into social media and now instead of dancing all night in warehouses or going camping to hear a band people just stare at phones and have their brains sucked out by "engagement" (addiction) maximizing algorithms.

People still go to concerts, raves, clubs, etc. Over the summer NYC streets were packed with young people going out as restrictions were lifting, so this isn't it.

Unless there's a select group of people who truly are addicted to technology and some who aren't (and the former is a silent majority), it's not accurate to say all young people are 24/7 on their phones and never go outside to talk to people.