Can anyone recommend a book that makes Hegel actually legible and not completely bonkers to extract what he's saying? I think it's possible he needs to be read in German. Reading and breaking down The Phenomenology of Spirit should be used as a torture method. Here is just one random passage of The Phenomenology of Spirit, it's all like this: The distinction which was made between actual Spirit and Spirit that knows…
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Frederick_C._Beiser#Works
Also, it's much easier to start with Hegel's lectures (on aesthetics, history, religion etc.) and just go read the Phenomenology & Science of Logic after one has a sense of his style and general philosophy. It's foolish to start by the most difficult texts.
And don't take Schopenhauer's criticisms of Hegel too seriously, as they are mostly due to personal misgivings and envy (Sch. couldn't stand Hegel's popularity, while Sch. barely managed to get any students for his classes).