51–60 of 62 posts
(If you're interested, the book is in the Internet Archive freely. It's hilarious.)
There is such a thing as forgiveness. In Buddhism there is a form of meditation called "metta", sometimes translated as "loving-kindness" meditation. The way I've been taught to do it is to wish sincerely to yourself, "May I be happy, may I be healthy, may I be safe." Then bring one's attention to those one most loves and think, "May they be happy, may they be healthy, may they be safe." Then repeat that for the peop…
But I have learned to forget. Which is likewise useful.
Earlier quoted context omitted.
I'm a millenial and as I read this, I got a strong visceral feeling like the one you're describing but about you . Not you personally, but the narrative you just posted. Do you really feel confident that millenials don't have any culturally systematic pettiness and arrogance? The social media generation, the neurotic depressed generation, the generation that has originated no novel politics... they are categorically…
Oh, I'm sure millennials (as a generalization) have their own new varieties of petty pride. Just, the particular brand described the article feels like its age has passed and I'm glad for it.
Earlier quoted context omitted.
It's also the consequence of being shackled to a literary technique common to these long form articles, for authors to write themselves into the piece, in order to make the content more relatable to the audience. It's a form of exhibitionism, where the author has to come up with something recognizable, but not too revealing or truly heart wrecking. Something milquetoast form adolescence will do in a pinch. I am sure…
I think the proper form would have been to pause the Sheila narrative at the Edna reveal, and then at the very end of the story, have the 50 years later meeting as the wrapper.
fwiw - I also wanted to know what happened there right after their encounter.
There is such a thing as forgiveness. In Buddhism there is a form of meditation called "metta", sometimes translated as "loving-kindness" meditation. The way I've been taught to do it is to wish sincerely to yourself, "May I be happy, may I be healthy, may I be safe." Then bring one's attention to those one most loves and think, "May they be happy, may they be healthy, may they be safe." Then repeat that for the peop…
Earlier quoted context omitted.
Most wars are fought due to resource scarcity - either commodity materials, food, or something else scarce. Humiliating a country is often done through extreme resource extraction and/or subjugation (where existing resources are controlled, at a minimum, if not directly extracted). Adding ideological humiliation on top of it can make the fire burn hotter once lit, but is rarely the direct cause. WW 2 was a good hexam…
I disagree with your first sentence - resource scarcity may happen and a country may be impoverished, but deciding to go to war is not an economic decision but rather a very personal one. Negotiations and deals are about resources, wars are about egos and beliefs.
Even the crusades had a clear economic justification - massive overpopulation of fighting age males resulting in a shortage of jobs, opportunities, and money. Sending them off to die (and loot and pillage) solved both problems. Beliefs were used to paper over the obviously unpalatable reality on the ground and help recruit.
Besides whatever is captured, there are of course other things successful war gets you - fewer young men rattling around locally causing problems (including crime, revolts, general instability), your new ‘green’ military leaders get to cut their teeth in the field, ‘better’ female to male ratios for your traditionally male leaders, more space (aka conquered territory), looted riches and newly available natural resources, and it often reduces competition and neighboring populations that would get in your way within a region in general.
This doesn’t last that long obviously, as a generation or two later the population has again increased, your veteran leaders have retired, etc.
It’s not always so direct of course - most of the recent American wars are more about burning old excess material inventory, keeping domestic military manufacturing expertise alive, and ensuring domestic weapons manufacturers of all types are able to stay on the cutting edge, but it is still the same song and dance when you get down to it.
While you average solder may fight for a cause, a nation only goes to war when the books show it needs to happen.
There is such a thing as forgiveness. In Buddhism there is a form of meditation called "metta", sometimes translated as "loving-kindness" meditation. The way I've been taught to do it is to wish sincerely to yourself, "May I be happy, may I be healthy, may I be safe." Then bring one's attention to those one most loves and think, "May they be happy, may they be healthy, may they be safe." Then repeat that for the peop…
The main difference seems to me to be the form of speech. Rather than using the subjunctive ("may they be safe"), here the "second person" is more explicit; you are using a kind of supplicating imperative to speak with -- well, God: "Please keep them safe." Feels funny to say out loud, that you're "talking to God". But there it is.
There are also the established, formulaic prayers, of course. But the theme of forgiveness is big there too, like you hinted at. The most obvious being in the Lord's Prayer, which includes "forgive us our trespasses, as we forgive those who trespass against us". I assume these lines are famous, but, y'know, not everyone grew up with the same tradition; it may be worth me saying it here.
I've begun to think mantras have a real effect. I know, for example, a person who used a mantra to overcome a fairly minor personal issue. That was a good enough thing to do, and was for personal ends.
Well if mantras work -- are the prayers of Christian tradition really so different from them? What does it do to you, to repeat every day a prayer, one of whose stanzas is about forgiveness? Presumably it changes how you think? Maybe that's a good thing?
I may yet return to religion. The older I get the more sense it makes. Without it you end up thinking other things, which maybe you wish you didn't.
"Right thought, right speech, right action." These affect thought.
Anyone else disappointed not to hear more about the Sheila interaction?
One consequence of this essay being published in a high-profile literary magazine such as Harper's, whether intentional or not, will be Sheila's sense of humiliation upon reading it. I bet it's intentional.
Earlier quoted context omitted.
I think she should have left it out. As anecdotes about humiliation go, it's not much. There's no mention that Sheila publicly shamed her (as the author, by the way, has now publicly shamed Sheila), she just didn't want to be friends anymore. And she's still holding a grudge against her erstwhile friend from when she was 13? People grow apart, especially around major life transitions like adolescence.
It's also the consequence of being shackled to a literary technique common to these long form articles, for authors to write themselves into the piece, in order to make the content more relatable to the audience. It's a form of exhibitionism, where the author has to come up with something recognizable, but not too revealing or truly heart wrecking. Something milquetoast form adolescence will do in a pinch. I am sure…
I guess this is kinda judgmental on my part, but I feel like a lot of the personal anecdotes you hear about from.. older Americans.. seem totally anachronistic and bizarre. Like: > On the other hand, I have a cousin, a doctor, who feels humiliated if he’s shortchanged in a grocery store. His wife, too: if another woman is wearing the same dress at a party, she feels humiliated. Like -- who are these people? They just…
This does bring up the general question of who is sensitive or insensitive to humiliation. I am reminded of something Michael O. Church wrote a few years ago [0] in connection with agile/scrum and the issue of intense observation of an employee's work process: "Another topic coming to mind here is status sensitivity. Programmers love to make-believe that they’ve transcended a few million years of primate evolution re…
That's an interesting take on agile culture, thanks for sharing it.