Hacker News Board Hacker News, browsed like a classic message board
Live data from Hacker News

My dead dad’s journal

seanblanda.com

Post reply on HN
Print view View original

51–60 of 101 posts

Re: My dead dad’s journal

#51

Post by wombatmobile »

thrashh wrote: post #9
xyzzy_plugh wrote: post #5

Earlier quoted context omitted.

> Unfortunately it seems to me that addiction tends to defeat good cognition, awareness, intention, all the rest of the apparent defences – it isn't a disease of stupidity or inferiority. Sadly this is true for so many things -- depression, ADHD, extreme anxiety. And yet for the most part, society does not understand. Instead, people aren't trying hard enough, or they're not letting things make them happy, or they're…

This is true for like everything. Watch people talk about gun control or 2fa or any topic of discourse. Everyone thinks the other side is dumb and can’t see why the other side believes the way they do no matter what. It’s a sign of lack of experience, but you also can’t experience even 1% of everything so are you just need to learn that when a lot of people are doing something that doesn’t make sense to you and it ma…

> Everyone thinks the other side is dumb and can’t see why the other side believes the way they do no matter what.

That's easy to see in other people talking about other people, and difficult to see in yourself talking about other people.

TFA is not really about that.

TFA is about one man who exhibited two distinct personas. One was loving and kind, the other was tormented and self-destructive. He left a diary as the only way he could find to present his better self to his family, free from the interference of the destructive aspects of his persona/s.

It is tempting to wonder which persona is the "real" one, which leads to attempts to resolve or cure or purify the self, either by ones self or by others. But that assumes there is such a thing as a "real" self. That's a common paradigm in western cultures, particularly Hollywood films, and less common in other parts of the world, particularly easter cultures.

What if the self is not singular, but a fluid network of identities?

https://aeon.co/essays/the-self-is-not-singular-but-a-fluid-...

Re: My dead dad’s journal

#52

Post by techer »

wsc981 wrote: post #41
johnwheeler wrote: post #30

Especially powerful for me was > My dad didn’t have a tidy ending. I won’t. And neither will you. Our lives will not be a slow positive upward slope before we die in our sleep surrounded by our loved ones.

Not exactly the same, but that quote reminded me of quote from the Donnie Darko movie: “everyone dies alone” [0]. I believe this is very much true. —— [0]: https://youtu.be/8j1IMBM-QyE

You die with yourself. You are never alone…

Re: My dead dad’s journal

#54

Post by dnissley »

germinalphrase wrote: post #49
steve_adams_86 wrote: post #38

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Opinion: It absolutely is. Compassion uplifts many of us who could otherwise be a burden on those around us. It helps the most productive avoid burn out. It spreads responsibility by enabling more people, and not relying solely on those who thrive with less support. Compassion is the long view as far as I can tell. We may come to believe there’s an incompatibility, but I don’t believe it’s innate within capitalism it…

I recently listened to a journalist discuss her work on corruption. She made this point: the prevalence of corruption rises in cultures that view monetary wealth as the only or primary mark of social status. She called it the Midas Disease as this pursuit is - at a certain point - meaningless (is another hundred million dollars when you already have 100 billion?), and yet - the effects of this pursuit have significan…

I thought it was well known that corruption is a bigger problem in developing nations which are likely to be considerably less capitalistic than first world nations?

Re: My dead dad’s journal

#55

Post by steve_adams_86 »

girvo wrote: post #44
steve_adams_86 wrote: post #39

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I’m fairly sure this is a logical fallacy. Addiction is so prevalent among people who are far more intelligent, capable, and strong than I am. There’s nothing special about me other than a fortunate environment and genetics as far as I’m concerned. Pretty much every addict I’ve spoken to about their addiction and personal matters (not a small number) has had terrible experiences in life. It’s almost guaranteed. Weird…

I was a heroin addict from 16 years old through to my mid 20s. I had pretty rough childhood trauma, just to add to your own anecdotes. Crippling depression too. I’m doing much better these days :) suboxone initially saved my life, then Buvidal injection made sure I’m here to stay.

I’m glad to read that you’re doing better. I meant it when I said I admire people for putting up that battle. Not just the addiction but the things that lead to it. It gives me perspective on how good I have things and how strong people can be. Beating opioid addiction is an incredible triumph.

Re: My dead dad’s journal

#56

Post by prismatix »

Thank you for sharing. I read this a while back and it still hits me just as hard. My brother passed away nearly 6 years ago and left under similar circumstances to the author's father. He also left a tattered, and similarly-chaotic journal.

I was really torn about reading it at first, but he was the type of person who wanted to go ahead of the pack and clear the path for others. His journal was the last way for him to do that.

He was older than me and, reading it years after his death, it's shocking to see the differences between our lives at the same ages. He always seemed older and wiser, but now -- having just turned the age he was when he died -- I realize why he felt so lost and lonely. Being an adult in your mid-twenties is difficult. I have it easy, and I'm having a hard time. Throw in years of battling addiction and no college education, and you can't help but feel the entire world is against you.

Losing an older sibling is a strange experience. The longer you go without them, the smaller the age gap between you becomes. Eventually, you're older than they will ever be -- I haven't reached that point yet but just thinking about it puts a lump in my throat.

I've considered publishing bits and pieces of his story on a blog, or in a book, someday. Anything that could help people in his (or my) situation feel less alone. Although, I don't think it would be much help considering his story ended.

Not sure why I posted this comment. There's not much substance here other than evidence of another touched soul.

Re: My dead dad’s journal

#57

Post by NetOpWibby »

prismatix wrote: post #56

Thank you for sharing. I read this a while back and it still hits me just as hard. My brother passed away nearly 6 years ago and left under similar circumstances to the author's father. He also left a tattered, and similarly-chaotic journal. I was really torn about reading it at first, but he was the type of person who wanted to go ahead of the pack and clear the path for others. His journal was the last way for him…

Still…thanks for sharing.

Re: My dead dad’s journal

#60

Post by cryptica »

I never understood how parents could disown their children. It's some kind of social brainwashing. It makes no sense from an evolutionary perspective.

By disowning your own children, you're giving an advantage to other people's children (whose parents haven't disowned them)... Some of these kids are downright rotten.

Post reply on HN