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I will never not talk about my depression

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Re: I will never not talk about my depression

#51

Post by shkkmo »

overgard wrote: post #33

I've quit a job because I was going through bad depression before and I didn't think I could do a good job. I even asked for part time work, so I understand where she's coming from, but.. In my opinion, this attitude she's portraying is a dangerous attitude to have. This victimhood seems core to her identity. I'm not trying to shame the condition, I'm trying to say that the condition shouldn't become some core part o…

I didn't see anything in the article about seeing herself as a victim or it being ”core to her identity." I think you might be projecting here.

In fact, I see her desire and efforts to normalize depression as an attempt to move away from victimhood.

> You don't want your identity to be "depressed person", because the last thing you want is to start feeling like a fraud when the fog starts to lift.

You also don't want to assume because the fog lifted, you should completely disassemble the support mechanisms you have built. Like with cancer remission, there is a signifant chance of relapse that can be somewhat mitigated by good monitoring amd timely interventions.

Re: I will never not talk about my depression

#52

Post by vergessenmir »

mumblemumble wrote: post #22
gonehome wrote: post #14

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Yeah I agree with you - I think what I'm trying to say is more nuanced and super easy to misinterpret (even in good-faith). It's not about putting a happy face on, but about seeing yourself as a 'depressed person' or as having depression being a core part of your identity. I think that can be harmful - and lead to weird psychologies where being depressed is more comfortable in a way, more familiar. Being open/honest…

Frankly, it is a core part of one's identity. It's not just feeling sad sometimes. It's a chronic condition that colors everything about how you see and experience the world. If you forget that or ignore it, it starts to take over, and your grip on reality is liable to start to erode.

If I read it right she didn't say it was chronic, unless I missed that.

It may have been episodal which happens to most people at some point in their.

I can understand the approach ( and not necessarily agree) if it were a chronic life long condition.

Re: I will never not talk about my depression

#53

Post by wizzwizz4 »

carapace wrote: post #47
wizzwizz4 wrote: post #19

There're a lot of people in the comments here who don't seem to know what depression is. Depression isn't just “I'm sad all the time”. Functionally, depression is a reduction in the set of actions that one can take. For some, it can be bad enough that “fill out this form, make this phone call, write the reference number on the form then post it” is too much. No, there's no reason they shouldn't be able to do that. Th…

I suffered from bad depression in my youth. Couldn't get a haircut or buy new shoes, things like that. I think the worst moment came when I was so depressed I just stood there in my room. I couldn't even lie down. No way to explain that to a normal person. One day my mom said, "I know you're not faking this because no one would deliberately be this miserable." It was more comforting than you might imagine. - - - - (I…

Unless you're dealing with con artists, the “pseudo” in “psuedoscience” is usually the explanation. I don't doubt Freud was able to help a lot of people, but I do doubt his explanations of what it was exactly that helped, and why.

Re: I will never not talk about my depression

#54

Post by globular-toast »

newmnhn wrote: post #13
t0mbstone wrote: post #2

Wow, I wish I could just go on sick leave for 4 months because I was feeling depressed...

Huge difference between "feeling depressed" and "being unable to function on a daily basis due to a medical condition called depression". Sick leave is appropriate if a person is sick. Depression can take over your life and make you unable to work. If sick leave does not exist for a depressed person they either become dependent on family or just get fired, risking homelessness, credit problems, increased chances of s…

OK, I wish I could just go on sick leave for 4 months due to being unable to function on a daily basis due to a medical condition.

Re: I will never not talk about my depression

#55

Post by shkkmo »

gonehome wrote: post #14
mumblemumble wrote: post #10

Earlier quoted context omitted.

There's a saying therapists use, "What we resist persists." The research has shown that being open with others about your experience alleviates the symptoms of depression, including constant rumination. Putting on a happy face for the benefit of others, on the other hand, tends to make it much, much worse. There are of course confounding factors like whether the person has a victimization complex or whatever, but tho…

Yeah I agree with you - I think what I'm trying to say is more nuanced and super easy to misinterpret (even in good-faith). It's not about putting a happy face on, but about seeing yourself as a 'depressed person' or as having depression being a core part of your identity. I think that can be harmful - and lead to weird psychologies where being depressed is more comfortable in a way, more familiar. Being open/honest…

Yet I see multiple comments warning about making depression part of your identity in response to a blog post that is pretty focused on why it is important to talk about experiencing depression.

I feel like the nuance is being lost in the opposite direction here.

Re: I will never not talk about my depression

#56

Post by silicon2401 »

gonehome wrote: post #41
silicon2401 wrote: post #28

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I agree. I wonder why it's so different for depression vs. other illness/challenges. When we see someone without legs, we accommodate them however possible and try to treat them equally, but we also celebrate those who manage to be competitive wheelchair racers or accomplished at calisthenics. Yet for depression, we almost try to convince people that it's simply not possible to be functional and you shouldn't even tr…

If I had to guess - it's a mixture of the underlying mechanism still being very poorly understood which makes it very hard to treat. Likely a lot of people experiencing what we classify as depression are actually experiencing similar symptoms of highly variable underlying causes. Also, for a long time mental health was handled atrociously by society so people are (reasonably) sensitive to that and there's maybe a lit…

I basically agree with your whole comment. I wish people on all sides were less forceful, whether critical or supportive of mental health issues, to account for the shortcomings we have with the field.

Re: I will never not talk about my depression

#57

Post by smegcicle »

gverrilla wrote: post #30

I've noticed it's very common to swap 'sadness' and 'depression' in american english. In brazilian portuguese we have an abreviation for "depressão" which is "deprê". Depression is the illness and "deprê" is slang for "sad" and they do not mix. It seems to me by equating both the american english is making it harder for people to realize the difference (which is tremendous).

I wonder if the pt-br words being so similar makes the difference more explicit, that perhaps the english words being so obviously different, makes it easier to forget?

if the topic would ever come up seriously, most everyone would agree that depression is different than regular sadness- but in casual conversation it sometimes seems to warp into depression being a kind of adult form of sadness, almost as if sadness is just for children...

Re: I will never not talk about my depression

#58

Post by shkkmo »

vergessenmir wrote: post #52
mumblemumble wrote: post #22

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Frankly, it is a core part of one's identity. It's not just feeling sad sometimes. It's a chronic condition that colors everything about how you see and experience the world. If you forget that or ignore it, it starts to take over, and your grip on reality is liable to start to erode.

If I read it right she didn't say it was chronic, unless I missed that. It may have been episodal which happens to most people at some point in their. I can understand the approach ( and not necessarily agree) if it were a chronic life long condition.

The post strongly implies she has been dealing with depression for 5 and a half years at this point.

Re: I will never not talk about my depression

#60

Post by DoreenMichele »

overgard wrote: post #33

I've quit a job because I was going through bad depression before and I didn't think I could do a good job. I even asked for part time work, so I understand where she's coming from, but.. In my opinion, this attitude she's portraying is a dangerous attitude to have. This victimhood seems core to her identity. I'm not trying to shame the condition, I'm trying to say that the condition shouldn't become some core part o…

She's a woman in a man's world. It's much more socially acceptable to say "I'm depressed" than to say "Doors don't open for me even though I am doing all the things I get told I should do to make them open and I'm doing my best and nothing really works anyway. It's demoralizing."

Women have long been given prescriptions for antidepressants in cases where "divorce" might have been a better prescription and so on.

And you eventually get beat down by it. Even if it remains clear in your mind that your gender is a factor in things not working even though you work hard and do what you get told is the right thing to do and yadda, you eventually learn that saying it out loud not only will not get you any remedy, it will get you nothing but open hostility from other people.

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