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My life as a woman in tech, told in three beverages

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Re: My life as a woman in tech, told in three beverages

#51

Post by DoreenMichele »

scpedicini wrote: post #43

I'm not trying to invalidate this woman's experiences, because if they are genuinely true as written down, then that is some seriously toxic misogynistic shit, but some of the quotes from the male interviewees sound like they could be lifted straight out of an episode of mad men and an office in the 1960s. “Hey, hon, before you go… can you get me some more coffee? And put some sugar in it." I mean... really?? It's ha…

Most women actually downplay a lot of crap just to try to survive. It's often far worse than what gets reported or the stories that get told.

Re: My life as a woman in tech, told in three beverages

#53

Post by DoreenMichele »

wjertyj wrote: post #50
mc32 wrote: post #44

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Not having a schedule with the people candidates are supposed to speak with which includes their titles/roles and not introducing yourself to the candidate. Then complain if a candidates makes the wrong assumptions about people’s roles and ignore the right assumptions candidates make when meeting and greeting strangers. When cops do this it’s entrapment but when a hiring manager does it... it’s good. I guess the poli…

In 15 years of interviewing (both sides of the table) at FAANGs, universities, startups, hedge funds, and the us federal government, I can think of exactly one time I was given an itinerary outlining who I'd speak with, and zero when one of my candidates was provided with one. No, when cops do what's described, it's called an undercover assignment. Entrapment is when the police encourage the forbidden behavior. In no…

I am reminded of an old story from back in the day when banking did not involve the internet. Some guy in paint-spattered work clothes went to the bank and some new hire bank teller was terribly rude to him so he threatened to close his account.

She was all "Feel free" and didn't budge an inch on her awful behavior so he did, in fact, close his account. For which I believe she was fired because he was the owner of a construction company and his accounts were worth millions.

Re: My life as a woman in tech, told in three beverages

#54

Post by kemonocode »

slickdork wrote: post #8

Thoughts from tale 1: - I would have guessed that the person who greeted me, showed me where to sit, and asked if I needed anything before leaving was a receptionist regardless of gender. That seems like an unfair strike/test. - I'm always surprised by how stupid people are. Being nice to the receptionist isn't just good standard human behavior, but it's also obvious that a receptionist will have input on the hiring…

Likewise, with an attitude like this:

> Before I begin the infamous “cola punching” story, I should point out that I am quite short, and sport curly ringlets atop my short head. It’s been a constant battle to be taken seriously in the workplace; I detest the word “cute,” and woe betide anyone who perceives me as such.

...she's just setting herself up for disappointment- repeatedly. I'm also rather short and baby-faced and clients and coworkers are often surprised when I tell them I'm nearing 30 when I could just as easily be the fresh intern not a day older than 18. People aren't necessarily going to be malicious with behaviors like those. Could it be internalized misogyny/ageism or something along those lines and that no matter what it'd be out of the line? Maybe, but it wouldn't come from a place of genuine malice.

Re: My life as a woman in tech, told in three beverages

#55

Post by mc32 »

wjertyj wrote: post #50
mc32 wrote: post #44

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Not having a schedule with the people candidates are supposed to speak with which includes their titles/roles and not introducing yourself to the candidate. Then complain if a candidates makes the wrong assumptions about people’s roles and ignore the right assumptions candidates make when meeting and greeting strangers. When cops do this it’s entrapment but when a hiring manager does it... it’s good. I guess the poli…

In 15 years of interviewing (both sides of the table) at FAANGs, universities, startups, hedge funds, and the us federal government, I can think of exactly one time I was given an itinerary outlining who I'd speak with, and zero when one of my candidates was provided with one. No, when cops do what's described, it's called an undercover assignment. Entrapment is when the police encourage the forbidden behavior. In no…

I said make assumptions I didn’t say be a shithead. If they saw you and alerted you to a spill over by the elevator don’t flip out when they made the presumption given you role played a custodian/janitor. If she asked you to go clean her car, sure by all means she’s stupid to do that but not for going for your ruse.

Re: My life as a woman in tech, told in three beverages

#56

Post by wjertyj »

mc32 wrote: post #55
wjertyj wrote: post #50

Earlier quoted context omitted.

In 15 years of interviewing (both sides of the table) at FAANGs, universities, startups, hedge funds, and the us federal government, I can think of exactly one time I was given an itinerary outlining who I'd speak with, and zero when one of my candidates was provided with one. No, when cops do what's described, it's called an undercover assignment. Entrapment is when the police encourage the forbidden behavior. In no…

I said make assumptions I didn’t say be a shithead. If they saw you and alerted you to a spill over by the elevator don’t flip out when they made the presumption given you role played a custodian/janitor. If she asked you to go clean her car, sure by all means she’s stupid to do that but not for going for your ruse.

There literally is no ruse.

The "test" is "are you shitty toward women".

Making assumptions and then acting on those assumptions (particularly in a hiring scenario) is, indeed, shitty shithead behavior.

Re: My life as a woman in tech, told in three beverages

#57

Post by mc32 »

DoreenMichele wrote: post #53
wjertyj wrote: post #50

Earlier quoted context omitted.

In 15 years of interviewing (both sides of the table) at FAANGs, universities, startups, hedge funds, and the us federal government, I can think of exactly one time I was given an itinerary outlining who I'd speak with, and zero when one of my candidates was provided with one. No, when cops do what's described, it's called an undercover assignment. Entrapment is when the police encourage the forbidden behavior. In no…

I am reminded of an old story from back in the day when banking did not involve the internet. Some guy in paint-spattered work clothes went to the bank and some new hire bank teller was terribly rude to him so he threatened to close his account. She was all "Feel free" and didn't budge an inch on her awful behavior so he did, in fact, close his account. For which I believe she was fired because he was the owner of a…

These kinds of tropes are in old movies. The 49er whos struck gold and looks like a vagrant. Tuco in the Good the Bad and the Ugly who mistakes a union soldier for a confederate soldier, etc.

Re: My life as a woman in tech, told in three beverages

#58

Post by DoreenMichele »

mc32 wrote: post #57
DoreenMichele wrote: post #53

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I am reminded of an old story from back in the day when banking did not involve the internet. Some guy in paint-spattered work clothes went to the bank and some new hire bank teller was terribly rude to him so he threatened to close his account. She was all "Feel free" and didn't budge an inch on her awful behavior so he did, in fact, close his account. For which I believe she was fired because he was the owner of a…

These kinds of tropes are in old movies. The 49er whos struck gold and looks like a vagrant. Tuco in the Good the Bad and the Ugly who mistakes a union soldier for a confederate soldier, etc.

And if you read Hacker News enough you've probably heard the one about the homeless woman that everyone kept mistaking for a tourist.

Re: My life as a woman in tech, told in three beverages

#59

Post by mc32 »

wjertyj wrote: post #56
mc32 wrote: post #55

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I said make assumptions I didn’t say be a shithead. If they saw you and alerted you to a spill over by the elevator don’t flip out when they made the presumption given you role played a custodian/janitor. If she asked you to go clean her car, sure by all means she’s stupid to do that but not for going for your ruse.

There literally is no ruse. The "test" is "are you shitty toward women". Making assumptions and then acting on those assumptions (particularly in a hiring scenario) is, indeed, shitty shithead behavior.

You're not going to filter out people well, the "cons", that way. They are not going to give you tells. You'll get a nice gotcha to brag about from a tired idiot who wasn't on their game that day. Cool, bravo, you win.

Re: My life as a woman in tech, told in three beverages

#60

Post by scpedicini »

DoreenMichele wrote: post #52

I really like the part where they decided to just have her greet everyone and see how that went. That's a brilliant hack.

I don't know... I feel like putting her into that position exposed her to a lot of negative energy that she may not have necessarily received in the first place.

If I personally was the brunt of all that crap, it would definitely get to me personally - so while I appreciate the company's approach ideologically I think emotionally it might've done more psychological damage to her in the long run.

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