Earlier quoted context omitted.
I'm less interested in what people are running their backend on because that tends not to be where performance issues with sites lie.
WHAT? That's exactly where performance issues come from. Chances that the client side code is so poor the site doesn't load is very low.
However, for your standard CRUD type app, honestly round trips of 100-200 ms for backend requests are really common/standard. On the FE, loading and evaluating big JS bundles, rendering, etc., can be way slower. For CRUD apps I’ve worked on, perf issues on the FE have been more common than on the BE. Especially with the common React/Redux stack, it’s very easy to make perforce mistakes and end up with a lot of unnecessary component updates when things aren’t really changing.