Being kind to others is good for your health

Post by Ozzie_osman » Sat, Dec 19, 2020, 7:47 PM UTC

atum47 wrote: post #10

in theory this looks good. reality is a bit different. I constantly have problems with my left and right neighbor (middle of pandemic and this a hole is doing a barbecue with loud music since yesterday) about their lack of consideration (this in my parents house, where I am right now). In my apartment is no different... loud music, stumping on the floor... that kind of problem you have on a building. my father have a…

Post by iamcreasy » Sat, Dec 19, 2020, 7:52 PM UTC

ChrisMarshallNY wrote: post #49

The only issue that I have, is that so many people (in my industry/nation/orbit) mistake kindness for weakness. I live in New York, which has a basic culture of "hyper aggressiveness." It isn't "rudeness," as so many people like to think of New Yorkers. They can be aggressively kind and generous. They are just aggressive. I'm also in the tech industry, which seems to have a very aggressive and competitive culture. It…

Post by layoutIfNeeded » Sat, Dec 19, 2020, 7:54 PM UTC

danenania wrote: post #47

atum47 wrote: post #10

in theory this looks good. reality is a bit different. I constantly have problems with my left and right neighbor (middle of pandemic and this a hole is doing a barbecue with loud music since yesterday) about their lack of consideration (this in my parents house, where I am right now). In my apartment is no different... loud music, stumping on the floor... that kind of problem you have on a building. my father have a…

This has been studied in game theory terms. The best strategy seems to be to give people the benefit of the doubt initially, being kind and altruistic without reservation. But as soon as they don’t respond in kind, you update your strategy immediately and stop extending any generosity beyond baseline courtesy. The ball is in their court now. If they switch from selfishness to altruism, then you can match them. Otherw…

Post by kortilla » Sat, Dec 19, 2020, 7:58 PM UTC

bserge wrote: post #13

CharlesW wrote: post #6

Earlier quoted context omitted.

> …a lot of technology enables us to be alone or at least not in direct contact with others. What I've seen during the pandemic is that technology enables my family to be in direct contact (if not physically) with others for most of our waking time. Certainly, my kids spend more time with their friends virtually than I did with mine physically as a child. Does the physical part matter? The article references a study…

I believe it matters. I mean, sure, short term you can stay apart. But can you imagine not getting even a hug for 5, 10 years? Helping others any way I can does make me feel good (so does receiving help, for that matter), I guess that's the case for the majority.

Post by bonoboTP » Sat, Dec 19, 2020, 8:01 PM UTC

danenania wrote: post #47

atum47 wrote: post #10

in theory this looks good. reality is a bit different. I constantly have problems with my left and right neighbor (middle of pandemic and this a hole is doing a barbecue with loud music since yesterday) about their lack of consideration (this in my parents house, where I am right now). In my apartment is no different... loud music, stumping on the floor... that kind of problem you have on a building. my father have a…

This has been studied in game theory terms. The best strategy seems to be to give people the benefit of the doubt initially, being kind and altruistic without reservation. But as soon as they don’t respond in kind, you update your strategy immediately and stop extending any generosity beyond baseline courtesy. The ball is in their court now. If they switch from selfishness to altruism, then you can match them. Otherw…