51–60 of 216 posts
Clicked for me recently that working hard is like driving in first gear. Necessary initially, but if you don't shift up into higher gears, you're probably not doing it right, and not getting as far as fast as you probably should. If I'm tired, it's necessarily because I'm mismanaging my work and time, and that's a signal it's time to step back and figure out what's wrong. Some people are really good at that initial t…
> If I'm tired, it's necessarily because I'm mismanaging my work and time Is it though? What if you are (always) on call? What if you get a message from your boss late evening asking for stuff for early morning? What if you have late night meetings or very early morning meetings (and what if both are present)? What if coworkers from other timezones are messaging you outside work hours (if you even have defined work h…
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I have a house and one kid. My wife wants another kid and complains that out house is too small (it's 1800 sqft). I hate my job but have no other options to support us. I honestly wonder how I did not listen to all the advice of other people about not getting married. Even at this same job I was much happier years ago. Part of that was because I hadn't been disillusioned yet, but I think part of it was also that I ha…
Is it allowed to tell wives who push husbands like that to get jobs themselves? Is it really believed that housework is as hard and stressful as a tech job? I feel like we're not really supposed to voice that aloud, but how else is that to be challenged?
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I have a house and one kid. My wife wants another kid and complains that out house is too small (it's 1800 sqft). I hate my job but have no other options to support us. I honestly wonder how I did not listen to all the advice of other people about not getting married. Even at this same job I was much happier years ago. Part of that was because I hadn't been disillusioned yet, but I think part of it was also that I ha…
Is it allowed to tell wives who push husbands like that to get jobs themselves? Is it really believed that housework is as hard and stressful as a tech job? I feel like we're not really supposed to voice that aloud, but how else is that to be challenged?
Clicked for me recently that working hard is like driving in first gear. Necessary initially, but if you don't shift up into higher gears, you're probably not doing it right, and not getting as far as fast as you probably should. If I'm tired, it's necessarily because I'm mismanaging my work and time, and that's a signal it's time to step back and figure out what's wrong. Some people are really good at that initial t…
Earlier quoted context omitted.
For those of us who are working from home right now, sleeping is easier than ever.
Insomnia is pretty high on the list of pandemic lockdown issues at the moment, not to mention burnout symptoms. Some people I know can sleep sitting on a plane, and others can scarcely sleep at night, horizontal, in a quiet room, on a soft bed.
My mood worsened because I felt like I was failing all the time. Being in a shitty mood and feeling deeply ashamed made the quality of my work (meaning: the way I treated my team and stakeholders) worse. It was this terrible loop of failure and frustration and shame. My bosses were inept but empathetic to my position for a while, until they also succumbed to the burnout/failure process that shitty companies usually cascade downward. My team hated me, because I was tasked with firing some of them and fundamentally changing the way that they worked. My manager, who I replaced as my team's manager, was very open that he didn't have it in him to fire anyone, and that my job was awful mostly because of the amount of things he didn't feel comfortable addressing while he was in my role (but needed addressed). This meant some employees had spent literal years exhibiting bad behavior, and I (a new hire) was being tasked with addressing it. It was awful. To make matters worse, as soon as my manager stopped managing the team, he seemed to totally forget what it was like working with that team, which meant that my requirements and performance were measured off of totally unobtainable feats of success with the team we had. I was expected to get a team that couldn't ship a feature in 10 weeks, to ship features in 2.
Ultimately it culminated with a meeting between me and my grand-manager, where I told her there was an opening as an IC on a neighboring team/product and I intended to take it, and she responded by saying "Maybe, I'm not sure we'll be able to accommodate that request." Which I responded for the first and only time in my career with the ultimatum of "In 30 days I will not be on this team, one way or the other." I felt sick going into that meeting because it felt like I was admitting that I was a total failure, but also that sickness was 1/1000th of the sickness I felt waking up every day getting crushed by my actual job.
Now, some time out, I am on good terms with everyone other than that grand-manager, who I haven't spoken with since. I even work at a new company founded by former coworkers.
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Is it allowed to tell wives who push husbands like that to get jobs themselves? Is it really believed that housework is as hard and stressful as a tech job? I feel like we're not really supposed to voice that aloud, but how else is that to be challenged?
My wife works about 25-30 hours per week. However, she spends most of that on her hobby (more than I spend on the mortgage). She doesn't contribute to any bills other than her gas and tires. I pay all the bills, benefits, utilities. I do all the shopping, cooking, baking, mechanic work, handyman work, projects, legal research (a case she got us involved in because she won't listen to me), medical research (our son ha…
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> but some of the info is silo'd on me What's preventing you from sharing this information or making it accessible to your other colleagues?
Thank you, that is a good question. I haven't thought of it from that POV. Nothing is preventing me aside from my work-load, and the feeling that I am letting everybody down every second this project is further delayed.
I've made this mistake plenty of times and been in situations where it was easy to prevent early in the cycle, so I'm sure if this was an easy environment it would be, well, easy.
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Thank you, that is a good question. I haven't thought of it from that POV. Nothing is preventing me aside from my work-load, and the feeling that I am letting everybody down every second this project is further delayed.
I'm paraphrasing a story whose origin I can't remember at the moment, but basically if you have 6 hours to chop down a very large tree, you should spend 5 of those hours sharpening your axe.
I mean, obviously at some point you need to cut down the tree, and sometimes you're just carving down your ax without making it any sharper, but still.