One extreme: calm, content, happy, don't care about much, don't do much.
Other extreme: stressed, unsatisfied, unhappy, always working, getting lots done.
Maybe there is a middle way. A more nuanced definition of success.
Things the most successful people I know struggle with to be happy
51–60 of 106 posts
Re: Things the most successful people I know struggle with to be happy
#52"Successful people" are those that come to the ocean shore, build a sand castle (indeed, what else is this sand for?), develop depression protecting it from wind, water and sun, and even force other tourists to build the castle for them. And they die wondering why the ocean shore is such a cruel and pointless place. Their lives aren't worthless,though: at least they develop some will. The wise don't build castles, th…
Wise people don't like playing with sand on a beach?
Play vs work?
Re: Things the most successful people I know struggle with to be happy
#53I think a lot of people in the US are taught from a young age to work hard and be the best you can be. Get into the best college, work hard to get the best job. Get promoted. Get promoted. Start your own firm. Work hard work hard, make money.
Often they never learn you are allowed to back off.
Re: Things the most successful people I know struggle with to be happy
#54"Successful people" are those that come to the ocean shore, build a sand castle (indeed, what else is this sand for?), develop depression protecting it from wind, water and sun, and even force other tourists to build the castle for them. And they die wondering why the ocean shore is such a cruel and pointless place. Their lives aren't worthless,though: at least they develop some will. The wise don't build castles, th…
> The wise don't build castles
We would still be trying to kill food by throwing rocks if we were wise.
Re: Things the most successful people I know struggle with to be happy
#55It could be Asian thing (I'm Asian), but there's a saying, "Money can't buy happiness, but it sure hell better crying inside my BMW than crying outside by the street."
Here's another (somewhat older) quote from a famous book from China: "If your happiness depends on money, you will never be happy with yourself"
Re: Things the most successful people I know struggle with to be happy
#56This resonates with my own experience: "Although most people look forward to vacations and days off, most successful people I know dread them."—working more hours was a socially acceptable route to not dealing with my own sh*t.
I enjoy my work quite a bit. Vacations, not so much. I like the challenge, I like being in the game.
I have no plans to ever retire.
Re: Things the most successful people I know struggle with to be happy
#57This resonates with my own experience: "Although most people look forward to vacations and days off, most successful people I know dread them."—working more hours was a socially acceptable route to not dealing with my own sh*t.
This hits me in the feels when I realized shortly after getting married that I realized what a workaholic is and that I am one. Just like an alcoholic uses booze to avoid the problems they face in the rest of life I use work to avoid problems in real life. I don't do it because I am so hard working, or because I really love what I do, its because when I sit down and can stare at code for a couple hours I don't have t…
The problem you mention at the end is not exactly a problem, you were working more for the same salary (a self inflicted salary reduction). That might help you rationalize it, calculate how much you earn per actual hour worked and try to get that number higher by not working for free. At the end of it, you are paying for that output with your time which is limited.
Re: Things the most successful people I know struggle with to be happy
#58"Successful people" are those that come to the ocean shore, build a sand castle (indeed, what else is this sand for?), develop depression protecting it from wind, water and sun, and even force other tourists to build the castle for them. And they die wondering why the ocean shore is such a cruel and pointless place. Their lives aren't worthless,though: at least they develop some will. The wise don't build castles, th…
> The wise don't build castles We would still be trying to kill food by throwing rocks if we were wise.
> We would still be trying to kill food by throwing rocks if we were wise.
Which is funny, because it would have been those first wise people who took the steps to get here.
Re: Things the most successful people I know struggle with to be happy
#59If you aren't happy, you aren't successful. Far too many (like the author of this article) equate economic wealth with "success". How can someone who is miserable be described as a "success" no matter how many baubles they collect or how many accolades they receive from their fellow bauble collectors?
To me being successful means being content and leading a happy and rich life. Economic well-being often helps facilitate contentment and happiness through the security it allows, but it is, at best, a piece of the pie. Unfortunately all too many (especially Americans) have been conditioned to believe that life is a game of Monopoly and the goal is to accrue as much material wealth as possible. This leads to the oft-referred to, "mid-life crisis" when people start coming to terms with their mortality and realize they've wasted the best decades of their life pushing pencils and sitting in traffic. Perhaps if we start changing the way we view "success" we can help some poor souls avoid this awful day of reckoning in the future.
Re: Things the most successful people I know struggle with to be happy
#60Note money is nowhere on this list.... what's the point? Every "successful" person I know simply buys their way into a happier life. What a puff piece without acknowledging this! Why is this shit even on HN? Is everyone here a rich, narcissistic douchebag? I mean we all suspected....
I guess that the point of the article is also that "money doesn't buy you happiness", but the author only says it between the lines. He does state that success in business will also not bring you happiness if you don't take the time and care for other aspects of your life. The view may be a bit skewed since he is a coach and will mostly deal with people who have a problem. It is still a good reminder to try to have a…
The author also owns enough money to buy himself a Lamborghini for his 30th birthday. It's easier to say that money is not the point when you have lots of it. Money may not buy you happiness but it sure does make a lot of things easier.