Hacker News Board Hacker News, browsed like a classic message board
Live data from Hacker News

How Inuit parents teach kids to control their anger (2019)

npr.org

Post reply on HN
Print view View original

51–60 of 140 posts

Re: How Inuit parents teach kids to control their anger (2019)

#51

Post by oxymoran »

bobthechef wrote: post #26

First, we mustn't discount the importance of properly expressed anger. Just as there is such a thing as excess or inappropriate anger, there is also such a thing as deficient and inappropriate anger. What "inappropriate" and "excess"/"deficient" anger are will require mature situational judgement on the part of the parent. There's no way around that, and defaulting to "no displays of anger" is not a true substitute.…

Obviously just being angry but keeping cool while saying something like, “I am angry” is fine. I think that the point is that usually anger comes with raised voices, yelling or worse which is not going to work. I don’t know if you have kids but I noticed that yelling at my 3 year old son only lead to him yelling at me in other circumstances. Similarly, even yelling at the dog to stop barking had the same result. I was teaching him to yell not how to behave. I do disagree with the article in that timeouts are highly effective if you get rid of the yelling aspect.

Re: How Inuit parents teach kids to control their anger (2019)

#52

Post by mnm1 »

choeger wrote: post #9

So a large part is to lie? I don't know. I mean, yes, I get angry by my children, and I don't know any parent that does not. Probably I get angry too often too early. But I really try hard never to lie to my kids. I even show them that I am angry because I think that's part of the game. Kids need to learn that other people have emotions. But telling stories about horrific creatures to avoid dangerous places? I don't…

So you told your kids Santa Claus doesn't exist at the first possible opportunity? There are many positive reasons to lie.

Re: How Inuit parents teach kids to control their anger (2019)

#53

Post by raincom »

choeger wrote: post #9

So a large part is to lie? I don't know. I mean, yes, I get angry by my children, and I don't know any parent that does not. Probably I get angry too often too early. But I really try hard never to lie to my kids. I even show them that I am angry because I think that's part of the game. Kids need to learn that other people have emotions. But telling stories about horrific creatures to avoid dangerous places? I don't…

In the Western culture, lying is primarily connected to deception. In cultures where Semitic religions have not influenced, lying and deception are not same: one can lie, without intending to deceive. That's how one has to look at.

One can lie for multiple reasons. For instance, to avoid conflict; or because one is not in a mood. Deception is one among many reasons.

Why the western culture focuses so much on the unity between lying/falsehood and deception? This has to do with the secularization of Christianity: Christian ideas becoming less Christian, more 'universal'. Satan, falsity, lying, deception--all form the unity in Christianity; in secular thinking, Satan is pushed out, but the unity between lying, falsehood and deception is present. This unity does not exist for Inuits or Chinese or even east Indians. It is part of child rearing practices in China and in India, to teach kids to lie.

Re: How Inuit parents teach kids to control their anger (2019)

#54

Post by 0_____0 »

tzs wrote: post #29

> Winter temperatures could easily dip below minus 40 degrees Fahrenheit Trivia: you can omit "Fahrenheit" after -40 without introducing ambiguity. -40 F == -40 C. (You can assume it is not K or Ra because those place their 0 points at absolute zero so -40 K or -40 Ra is not possible).

That's clever, but you're going to confuse readers and interrupt the flow of the article if you omit a unit where people expect one.

Re: How Inuit parents teach kids to control their anger (2019)

#55

Post by twic »

tzs wrote: post #29

> Winter temperatures could easily dip below minus 40 degrees Fahrenheit Trivia: you can omit "Fahrenheit" after -40 without introducing ambiguity. -40 F == -40 C. (You can assume it is not K or Ra because those place their 0 points at absolute zero so -40 K or -40 Ra is not possible).

Could be degrees Reaumur though.

Re: How Inuit parents teach kids to control their anger (2019)

#56

Post by meritganset »

tzs wrote: post #29

> Winter temperatures could easily dip below minus 40 degrees Fahrenheit Trivia: you can omit "Fahrenheit" after -40 without introducing ambiguity. -40 F == -40 C. (You can assume it is not K or Ra because those place their 0 points at absolute zero so -40 K or -40 Ra is not possible).

You _can_ omit it, but why would you?

And it absolutely introduces ambiguity for those who don't happen to know where these scales are equal.

Re: How Inuit parents teach kids to control their anger (2019)

#57

Post by perfmode »

it's funny how the world works

> a Harvard graduate student made a landmark discovery about the nature of human anger.

the article doesn't credit the inuits with the discovery.

> By contrast, Briggs seemed like a wild child, even though she was trying very hard to control her anger. "My ways were so much cruder, less considerate and more impulsive," she told the CBC. "[I was] often impulsive in an antisocial sort of way. I would sulk or I would snap or I would do something that they never did."

but instead credits Briggs, who is the one exhibiting primitive behavior and being exposed to the higher path

Re: How Inuit parents teach kids to control their anger (2019)

#58

Post by 6gvONxR4sf7o »

Some of the stuff in here is obvious stuff that nonetheless is great to get reminders of, like leading by example. There was a unique piece that really intrigues me: Putting on a play/putting on a drama.

"Putting on a drama" seems like a pretty romanticized way to say it, but if I understand correctly, it's practicing better responses to events that led to bad behavior. "Johnny, I'm going to steal your toy, and instead of hitting me like you hit your brother, use your words." That kind of explicit practice/rehearsal of skills isn't something I'd have thought of, but it makes total sense as a valuable way to teach and learn.

Re: How Inuit parents teach kids to control their anger (2019)

#59

Post by dragonwriter »

raincom wrote: post #53
choeger wrote: post #9

So a large part is to lie? I don't know. I mean, yes, I get angry by my children, and I don't know any parent that does not. Probably I get angry too often too early. But I really try hard never to lie to my kids. I even show them that I am angry because I think that's part of the game. Kids need to learn that other people have emotions. But telling stories about horrific creatures to avoid dangerous places? I don't…

In the Western culture, lying is primarily connected to deception. In cultures where Semitic religions have not influenced, lying and deception are not same: one can lie, without intending to deceive. That's how one has to look at. One can lie for multiple reasons. For instance, to avoid conflict; or because one is not in a mood. Deception is one among many reasons. Why the western culture focuses so much on the unit…

> One can lie for multiple reasons. For instance, to avoid conflict; or because one is not in a mood. Deception is one among many reasons.

In all of those cases deception is the purpose of lying, the other purposes described aren't alternatives to deception, they are the purposes for which one seeks to deceive.

It's true that focussing on this has a nexus with Christian moral theory and it's influence on secular morality, since Christian moral theory distinguishes between bad ends sought deliberately as intermediate means to permissible ends and bad ends which are incidental to acts seeking permissible ends.

Re: How Inuit parents teach kids to control their anger (2019)

#60

Post by yters »

choeger wrote: post #9

So a large part is to lie? I don't know. I mean, yes, I get angry by my children, and I don't know any parent that does not. Probably I get angry too often too early. But I really try hard never to lie to my kids. I even show them that I am angry because I think that's part of the game. Kids need to learn that other people have emotions. But telling stories about horrific creatures to avoid dangerous places? I don't…

I remember in high school learning electrons were balls. Then, later I learn they are actually fields. Was I lied to?
Post reply on HN