My urge to put this in our slack "general discussion" group is huge.
Do it during the friday happy hour, and then blame the free drinks
How to Pay Programmers Less (2016)
51–60 of 64 posts
Re: How to Pay Programmers Less (2016)
#52Dealing with a talentless narcissistic manager or a dipshit CEO? A talentless piece of hack who doesn't know anything about technology but is somehow calling the shots ? 0. Boundary setting doesn't work with these losers because they don't respect them, so you will have to adopt devious tactics. Running away is a cowardly act. Learn how to spot them and their co-dependent friends. I would highly recommend the book Cr…
Some other handy passive-aggressive electronic mail techniques, courtesy of Bernard Greenberg from Symbolics (BSG 4/11/84):
https://www.donhopkins.com/home/archive/humor/flame-manual.t...
>Replying to one's own message is a rarely-exposed technique for switching positions once you have thought about something only after sending mail.
>You get 3 opportunities to advertise your Rock band, no more.
>Idiosyncratic indentations, double-spacing, capitalization, etc., while stamps of individuality, leave one an easy target for parody.
>The entire life, times, collected works, expressions, and modalities of Zippy the Pinhead are a common ground for much of the metaphor, rhetoric, and invective which pass daily through the mail. An occasional parenthetical "yow" CORRECTLY USED will endear one to the senior systems staff. So will puns and other remarks addressed directly to the point.
>Including a destination in the CC list that will cause the recipients' mailer to blow out is a good way to stifle dissent.
>When replying, it is often possible to cleverly edit the original message in such a way as to subtly alter its meaning or tone to your advantage while appearing that you are taking pains to preserve the author's intent. As a bonus, it will seem that your superior intellect is cutting through all the excess verbiage to the very heart of the matter.
>Keeping a secret "Hall Of Flame" file of people's mail indiscretions, or copying messages to private mailing lists for subsequent derision, is good fun and also a worthwhile investment in case you need to blackmail the senders later.
Re: How to Pay Programmers Less (2016)
#53Earlier quoted context omitted.
It's just what businesses are familiar with and, frankly, what works. Before scrum you've had system analysts writing requirements and use cases, now you have product owner writing stories. Engineers have so much on their plate fighting the actual code that making them talk to users (who don't know what they want half of the time or are involved in some sort political battles themselves) is just putting too much on t…
I disagree, based on my experience in both small and large organisations, nothing at all beats a developer spending a half-day or a day sitting with an end user saying “show me what you are doing, or trying to do”. And making copious notes then going away and programming it. Very few organisations are willing to work like this because nearly all project- and middle-management would be out of jobs. The management clas…
I agree that it can work in cases where the business is actually well organized and knows what they want. However, what I've often seen is that nobody pretty much knows anything and/or they're afraid to make a decision and hence you need a product manager to go around various business units, arrange workshops etc. and try to pound out some definitive statements out of the business guys. This is super common on large multi-million (or billion) projects which are supposed to transform the whole org in some way. On the other hand, if the project is just for one business unit and they're the one driving it, then maybe product owner is less needed.
Re: How to Pay Programmers Less (2016)
#54There should be a whole section on offshoring and flooding the market with H1Bs of varying, but typically low-end skills. Outcomes don't even seem to matter if management can play the "they were cheaper" card.
I swear, I have seen it all. I hold a very low opinion of the typical MBA. I think every business program in the US has the same exact playbook, there is nothing innovative coming out of those schools whatsoever.
One would think the US would be better and yet we are so infuriatingly mediocre in every possible way.
Re: How to Pay Programmers Less (2016)
#55Don't forget free lunches. $10 bucks for an extra hour of productivity.
Yeah. 12 months in to a job there was a big push to move to the cloud, all devs go on 24/7 mandatory support. You would be required for a week to be on call, rotating in your team, so every 3-4 weeks depending on devs in the team. For this you where required to always have internet access, return a phone call within 10mins to acknowledge a issue then be investigating within 20-30 mins. This means for 7 days if you wa…
Pretending to be naive can be useful from time to time.
"I'm sorry, I have dietary restrictions that prevents me from enjoying the free lunch. It would be a great bonus if I was able. How about this you forgo the large cost of the free lunch and instead pay me the minor amount of overtime for the rare times I'm called out." (they always present that you will rarely be required to fix something off hours, call that bluff)
The only directions they can go is "Well that will cost more than the free lunch" or "we demand it" so either you win the argument by having them make your point for you or you will have a nice casus belli to find a new job.
Re: How to Pay Programmers Less (2016)
#56Earlier quoted context omitted.
I disagree, based on my experience in both small and large organisations, nothing at all beats a developer spending a half-day or a day sitting with an end user saying “show me what you are doing, or trying to do”. And making copious notes then going away and programming it. Very few organisations are willing to work like this because nearly all project- and middle-management would be out of jobs. The management clas…
I agree that it can work in cases where the business is actually well organized and knows what they want. However, what I've often seen is that nobody pretty much knows anything and/or they're afraid to make a decision and hence you need a product manager to go around various business units, arrange workshops etc. and try to pound out some definitive statements out of the business guys. This is super common on large…
Surprisingly often they do know what they want, even if they can’t articulate it they can demonstrate it.
The spec only becomes inane gobbledygook when filtered through a PM who doesn’t understand it but rewrites it in business-speak anyway, or an “architect” who also doesn’t understand it but thinks it needs to be a grand, generic solution.
Re: How to Pay Programmers Less (2016)
#57Earlier quoted context omitted.
might depend on the state but for sure illegal in most. At the same time, I've never heard of it being litigated, ever. Usually the people told not to talk about their salaries are making the most.
"Usually the people told not to talk about their salaries are making the most." Oh buddy, I hope you didn't fall for that one.
it's a battle of wits for sure :)
Re: How to Pay Programmers Less (2016)
#58This is uncomfortably close to how those with a narcissistic personality disorder psychologically abuse and control their victims. I maybe should rethink my life. :-(
Re: How to Pay Programmers Less (2016)
#59This has got to be satire. There’s no other way any sane person could really mean this. I took it all as comedy.
These are all real things that happen in real companies.
Re: How to Pay Programmers Less (2016)
#60"They must keep this information secret. Warn them or even sign NDAs prohibiting any talks about wages, bonuses, compensation plans, etc" That's directly illegal, at least in Denmark, so I assume in the rest of the civilized works as well.
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