51–60 of 125 posts
throw999, Some serious advice that I'm willing to get downvoted for: try taking a medium to large dose of a psychedelic (psilocybin perhaps). Make it an introspective journey, follow the best practices, have a sitter (closest friend is good), be in a comfortable, safe place, etc.
Why on earth? That's not the best or safest way to get positive emotions, and in long terms leads nowhere.
throw999, Some serious advice that I'm willing to get downvoted for: try taking a medium to large dose of a psychedelic (psilocybin perhaps). Make it an introspective journey, follow the best practices, have a sitter (closest friend is good), be in a comfortable, safe place, etc.
Why on earth? That's not the best or safest way to get positive emotions, and in long terms leads nowhere.
[1] http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Set_and_settingMy friend you need professional help. We are not psychologists nor psychiatrists. For starters the only way to meet friends is to be outgoing, being an introvert makes this very hard, but if you really want to make friends you are going to have to deal with your issues and talk to people. Believe it or not, it gets better with time and as you grow. On the other part, grades don't mean a thing, and you really need to…
Buy a few books and build something in python, and when you're done reread the books and build something in python (this is a recursive sentence!).
First, please stop labeling yourself as an introvert/failure/whatever. It will do you good. Being an introvert is first and foremost the ability to extract energy from what you're doing rather than needing an audience to survive. It does not mean, however, that you should not talk to people just because you don't feel like talking. Everyone needs at least a couple friends to talk to. By only talking to yourself, it's…
I went and found one. The key is to get up to bat, then try again (and then again (and then again)). I went through 873 girls before I found the one. I had an Excel spreadsheet and everything. I used match.com, eHarmony, and craigslist to troll for women. Persistence and an ever evolving filter eventually converges.
Professors are not the best people to take advice from unless you want to live in the ivory tower, so I wouldn't look to them for life advice. Instead, look around and figure out what you want out of life. Do you want money? Do you want happiness? Do you want to create things?
Once you figure out what you want, you have to work core for it.
Your grades are not what matter in life. When I interview people, I don't even consider their education background. If I exist, then I'm sure there are others like me in your area.
Your past is your past, and there will always be times that you regret the stupid things you've done. Everyone has regrets, and the key is to look toward the future and work towards it.
Instead of focusing on programming and hoping the school system will work out for you, find a bread and butter job like psd2html where you could offer the skills you have to keep life decent enough to build up more powerful and effective skills.
The key to building relationships is to offer something up. Tell a joke. Help someone move. Generally be a good person to hang around. Be someone you would want to hang out with, and you will find friends everywhere. Humans are social creatures, and I was extremely introverted. However, now, I can go anywhere and strike up a conversation. How did I do this? I tried and then I tried some more. Now, I can hustle where as I used to only be able to hack.
Life is complex, and no sequence of words will ultimately help. It is up you to decide that you want to make things better.
1. This is 100% mental; beating yourself up mentally internally or otherwise only contributes to the problem - try the opposite. 'Meditate' on positive thoughts (or even a single thought) when this crops up. Self-doubt is the mind-killer; never forget that.
2. Everyone is good at a thing or two - for me it's hockey and music (well other than coding of course) - focus on the positives that those bring into your life when you feel your self-worth going south. Make a habit of reminding yourself of the things that few people can do better than you.
3. Start to exercise regularly. It's amazing how effective regularly releasing endorphins into your bloodstream is. Plus, it helps boost your self-confidence.
4. When you go out for lunch, groceries, errands - whatever- make a habit of striking up a conversation with a total stranger or a group of strangers (yes, it is scary actually). I do this when I'm at lunch alone, often talking with someone, or a group of people sitting near me. No your waiter/waitress or bartender does not count. I find that it forces me out of my 'shell' and I usually learn something interesting as well (people are pretty interesting if you give them a chance it turns out). BTW, when I chat people up at lunch or in the line at the bank, grocer store, wherever I never consider who they are or their age... aka, I'm not just doing this with women I may be interested in, or just guys around my age... I'll strike up a conversation with an older women, teens, a family, whomever. It's a great way to break out of your natural introversion shell and it's interesting to see what 'normal folk' think (cause let's face it - Hackers are not normal folk at all).
5. The more comfortable you are with yourself the more comfortable you will be around others; the opposite is also true.
6. Do not seek professional help - you are normal for your age. If anything you might want to look into something like David DeAngelo's books/vids, which I've recommended to several friends who recently divorced (which your situation is oddly similar too I might add - it's a very isolating period for most men); DeAngelo 'preaches' a lot about developing a stronger mental/inner 'game', honing your social skills and above all being confident (and funny) in who you are - if you can master just that - being confident and funny - you will be a whiz in social situation in no time.
2)Pick a challenging puzzle/problem to solve during the lifting session.
You'll get over your confidence hangups and make bold strides forward in no time.
(Some evolutionary psychologists also think there's evidence that "feeling good from doing good" is a selected-for trait. That's because the doing-good that results from the feeling-good can confer advantages on kin or on a group. EXAMPLE: Other things being equal, a parent who happens to derive pleasure from caring for his/her offspring is more likely to have his/her genes passed on to grandchildren. EXAMPLE: OTBE, an infantry squad whose members happen to feel an urge to look out for one another is more likely to succeed in war than an every-man-for-himself mob.)