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The Key to Good Luck Is an Open Mind

nautil.us

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Re: The Key to Good Luck Is an Open Mind

#51

Post by foldr »

davebryand wrote: post #47
maxpupmax wrote: post #42

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I think they all seem to have a pretty scientific explanation. Don't we see research on meditation pop up here almost every other week? I guess I'm pretty firmly in the atheist-materialist camp here. If you don't mind me asking, what happened to you to convince you otherwise?

Thanks for asking. Here is a grab bag in rough order of events. (Spent years 1-20 as Catholic, and years 21-39 as an atheist) * Leaving my third "failed" startup, post YC. (For the record, my awesome co-founders sold to Cisco after I had left) * Working with a coach to find and clearly define my deepest values * Leaving San Francisco to align my life with those values * Deciding to search for the meaning of life * Tr…

Holy shit. I'd rather be unenlightened than do all that.

Re: The Key to Good Luck Is an Open Mind

#52

Post by davebryand »

foldr wrote: post #51
davebryand wrote: post #47

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Thanks for asking. Here is a grab bag in rough order of events. (Spent years 1-20 as Catholic, and years 21-39 as an atheist) * Leaving my third "failed" startup, post YC. (For the record, my awesome co-founders sold to Cisco after I had left) * Working with a coach to find and clearly define my deepest values * Leaving San Francisco to align my life with those values * Deciding to search for the meaning of life * Tr…

Holy shit. I'd rather be unenlightened than do all that.

I would have thought so, too--it just sort of happened :)

Re: The Key to Good Luck Is an Open Mind

#53

Post by RangerScience »

Ntrails wrote: post #28
pm90 wrote: post #16

This is actually a very interesting article. And with the risk of attracting the wrath on internet haters, let me propose something that personally helped me a lot and which seems like a very narrow application of the principles described in the article: meeting romantic partners. I tend to be more open in talking to strangers and that has opened up worlds of opportunities to me. But the biggest benefit has certainly…

> Let me qualify this by saying that I do not condone pestering strangers; that is borderline harassment (especially for women). There is really no way to know in advance whether initiating a conversation with a stranger is welcome or not, the only way to find out is to try. It's unreasonable to place the burden of a person to signal "don't impose yourself on me" when you could simply leave them alone and not take th…

  Step One: Eye contact (sustained)
  Step Two: "Hello!"
  Step Three:

Re: The Key to Good Luck Is an Open Mind

#54

Post by wilsonnb »

davebryand wrote: post #47
maxpupmax wrote: post #42

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I think they all seem to have a pretty scientific explanation. Don't we see research on meditation pop up here almost every other week? I guess I'm pretty firmly in the atheist-materialist camp here. If you don't mind me asking, what happened to you to convince you otherwise?

Thanks for asking. Here is a grab bag in rough order of events. (Spent years 1-20 as Catholic, and years 21-39 as an atheist) * Leaving my third "failed" startup, post YC. (For the record, my awesome co-founders sold to Cisco after I had left) * Working with a coach to find and clearly define my deepest values * Leaving San Francisco to align my life with those values * Deciding to search for the meaning of life * Tr…

The Wikipedia page for the eight-circuit model of consciousness explained what it was pretty well but presented no evidence or arguments in favor of it.

Do you know of any sources that that give such arguments?

I am also curious as to how state of the art physics fits into the rest of your list. I assume it's related to the eight-circuit model and opening yourself up to the possibility that there is more to the universe than that which has been explained by science, due to it's placement in the list, but I would be interested in knowing how those concepts relate in your mind.

Re: The Key to Good Luck Is an Open Mind

#55

Post by hokus »

gradys wrote: post #31
Ntrails wrote: post #28

Earlier quoted context omitted.

> Let me qualify this by saying that I do not condone pestering strangers; that is borderline harassment (especially for women). There is really no way to know in advance whether initiating a conversation with a stranger is welcome or not, the only way to find out is to try. It's unreasonable to place the burden of a person to signal "don't impose yourself on me" when you could simply leave them alone and not take th…

I guess it depends on what version of the social contact you think we're all operating with. I'd say the quite minor inconvenience of someone ahead of you in line trying to start a conversation is part of what you sign up for when you go out in public. That is, as long as the initiator is prepared to take the hint when it's clear you don't want to talk.

I take it as a design question. Do we want a society designed for people who like to interact or do we want to design it after the desire for limiting interaction as much as possible?

One time, on a crowded train, an elderly lady just started talking about her visit to her lovely grandchildren and what they had been up to since her last visit. It wasn't a short story and to her it was the most fascinating experience in the world. While telling it she turned her head towards anyone who wasn't looking at her. She had quite the powerful gaze. She wasn't screaming but had a loud voice.

Eventually someone rudely interrupted her to ask her if she could stop talking. She just bluntly told him to go sit some place else. "The train is full of people silently gazing out of the window, people who forgot how to talk with others. What are you waiting for? Off you go?"

At that point the laughter made it apparent that people sitting really far away were also listening to her. She kept staring at him and kept telling him to just go away, go be miserable some place else, don't expect us to share your misery. Being made the center of attention everyone else was also looking at him. Eventually he just got up and left (producing even more laughter)

The moment he got up she continued her story exactly where she left of with a tone of voice as if the entire incident never happened.

The most interesting thing I took from the experience was how confident she was that a person who doesn't like to talk with strangers also doesn't talk back when ordered to piss off. Her involving 30 random strangers in her monologue also ruled out any physical retaliation.

After the story about her visit to the grandchildren she told us she always talked to strangers, she did this her entire life and wasn't about to stop. She got to know many nice people. She didn't like how the last few decades this made her the center of attention but felt obligated to remind us things weren't always like this.

We shouldn't let people like the guy who just left force us to stop talking. They are overstepping the bounds. It isn't for them to decide who you can or cant talk to. "Who does he think he is being so disrespectful to an elderly lady?" When she grew up one would listen to what older people had to say. They've been around, you might learn something.

It was a hilarious experience. I've been talking to random strangers ever since. At times you run into introvert people who obviously didn't talk with anyone for years. Without saying anything they reinforce the idea we should keep doing this.

Trust me, you can PM anyone you like on irc. If they say you can't do that you just tell them you just did.

The funniest resolve for the protesters you inevitably run into when doing this has to be....

https://memecrunch.com/meme/20XL1/come-at-me-bro-bruce-lee

Re: The Key to Good Luck Is an Open Mind

#56

Post by jehlakj »

RangerScience wrote: post #53
Ntrails wrote: post #28

Earlier quoted context omitted.

> Let me qualify this by saying that I do not condone pestering strangers; that is borderline harassment (especially for women). There is really no way to know in advance whether initiating a conversation with a stranger is welcome or not, the only way to find out is to try. It's unreasonable to place the burden of a person to signal "don't impose yourself on me" when you could simply leave them alone and not take th…

Step One: Eye contact (sustained) Step Two: "Hello!" Step Three:

Step one is crucial if you can’t take rejections lightly. However, a lot of people are shy and they tend to look away. I’d say just man up and skip it. But do know when to stop if the other party isn’t reciprocating either through lack of interest or body language.

Re: The Key to Good Luck Is an Open Mind

#58

Post by kraftman »

Ntrails wrote: post #28
pm90 wrote: post #16

This is actually a very interesting article. And with the risk of attracting the wrath on internet haters, let me propose something that personally helped me a lot and which seems like a very narrow application of the principles described in the article: meeting romantic partners. I tend to be more open in talking to strangers and that has opened up worlds of opportunities to me. But the biggest benefit has certainly…

> Let me qualify this by saying that I do not condone pestering strangers; that is borderline harassment (especially for women). There is really no way to know in advance whether initiating a conversation with a stranger is welcome or not, the only way to find out is to try. It's unreasonable to place the burden of a person to signal "don't impose yourself on me" when you could simply leave them alone and not take th…

I don't know about that. There are a lot of non verbal cues like body language, eye contact, etc. Then there are a lot of different ways to start verbal communication that are less strong than other ways.

Re: The Key to Good Luck Is an Open Mind

#59

Post by lifeformed »

Ntrails wrote: post #28
pm90 wrote: post #16

This is actually a very interesting article. And with the risk of attracting the wrath on internet haters, let me propose something that personally helped me a lot and which seems like a very narrow application of the principles described in the article: meeting romantic partners. I tend to be more open in talking to strangers and that has opened up worlds of opportunities to me. But the biggest benefit has certainly…

> Let me qualify this by saying that I do not condone pestering strangers; that is borderline harassment (especially for women). There is really no way to know in advance whether initiating a conversation with a stranger is welcome or not, the only way to find out is to try. It's unreasonable to place the burden of a person to signal "don't impose yourself on me" when you could simply leave them alone and not take th…

Yeah, it's usually fine to initiate a conversation (politely), it's more about knowing whether or not you should continue it.

Re: The Key to Good Luck Is an Open Mind

#60

Post by duxup »

gradys wrote: post #31
Ntrails wrote: post #28

Earlier quoted context omitted.

> Let me qualify this by saying that I do not condone pestering strangers; that is borderline harassment (especially for women). There is really no way to know in advance whether initiating a conversation with a stranger is welcome or not, the only way to find out is to try. It's unreasonable to place the burden of a person to signal "don't impose yourself on me" when you could simply leave them alone and not take th…

I guess it depends on what version of the social contact you think we're all operating with. I'd say the quite minor inconvenience of someone ahead of you in line trying to start a conversation is part of what you sign up for when you go out in public. That is, as long as the initiator is prepared to take the hint when it's clear you don't want to talk.

I've signed that part of the contract.

Other people haven't, but if they're irked or just shy, stuff happens.

There's no good way to be sure.

Maybe we could employ some sort of thing we could all wear if we're ok with a random conversation or something?

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