Ask HN: I am 30yrs and never had a full time job, now suicidal. Any life advice?
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Re: Ask HN: I am 30yrs and never had a full time job, now suicidal. Any life advice?
#52Universal Basic Income is almost getting real and reverse aging is showing great promise. which means if you just hang on for another 1 or 2 decades you may live forever with lots of leisure. Create universes(simulate in video game) and play god or explore universe. The point is chances are we are at the brink of utopia. Think about it.
Re: Ask HN: I am 30yrs and never had a full time job, now suicidal. Any life advice?
#53Earlier quoted context omitted.
Your post is incredibly cruel in the context of someone who has disclosed suicidal intent.
Having been through some of the stuff the guy wrote about... I don't think coddling is the right tone. If you let someone who is depressed tell you how bad and horrible their life is... and you agree or buy into that... things look bleak. The last thing you want to do is validate that shit-spiral that sinks a person deeper into despair and helplessness. If you tell them to cut the bullshit self-pity and take action,…
> . I don't think coddling is the right tone.
There's a difference between not coddling someone and "toughen up, cupcake".
Your advice is likely to kill people. It is bad advice. You should feel bad for talking bollocks about something you clearly have no training in.
In general, when you have no fucking clue what you're talking about you should just shut the fuck up. That is especially true when you risk killing people with poor advice.
Here's one particularly stupid example:
> Take a hot shower, shave,
"You're suicidal. Go find a really sharp blade".
Re: Ask HN: I am 30yrs and never had a full time job, now suicidal. Any life advice?
#54You are almost 30 years old, will soon have a masters degree from a university in a first world nation, have worked several jobs on apart-time basis and do not have a wife whom you do not love, or kids you can not support to tie you down. You owe a miserly Euro20k in debt which you can quite easily pay off ( for instance by not buying a car in the next 1.5 yrs). You are young full of promise, healthy and educated. Yo…
great advice! Thank you for saying this clearly.
Re: Ask HN: I am 30yrs and never had a full time job, now suicidal. Any life advice?
#5520 job applications and 4 rejections are NOTHING!
I know each application/rejection drains you emotionally, but be ready to multiply that number by 10 in order to get a few decent interviews. The key to survival is "detachment".
(From personal experience, and feedback of my friends)
Re: Ask HN: I am 30yrs and never had a full time job, now suicidal. Any life advice?
#56Why do you care about society? You seem much smarter than them. Or do you want just to be a slave of your physiology (genes) like most of the people? Otherwise see https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IWbRO1rWB9M
Re: Ask HN: I am 30yrs and never had a full time job, now suicidal. Any life advice?
#57Sometimes depression is situation based and sometimes it isn't. As a general rule there are 3 aspects/areas of your life:
1. Home life: How our your living conditions, bills, people you live with. Are you comfortable?
2. Work life(e.g. Work/Study/Job hunting): Do you enjoy what you do and is it a good working environment?
3.Relationships: How are you getting on with Friends, Family, boyfriend/girlfriend e.t.c?
If one of these area's is off then it's ok and you can usually cope if two or more are off then you definitely need to try and change something. Alwyas talk to someone about these feelings/situations as it's very hard to think clearly or logically during these times you definatley need a second opinion. And somethign to be aware of that a lot of people don't seem to know is imposter syndrome which most people deal with at sometime or other. When you have the idea that although you can do something your actually just fakeing it and eventually wil be found out: https://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2013/nov/09/imposto...
Re: Ask HN: I am 30yrs and never had a full time job, now suicidal. Any life advice?
#58You CAN finish up your studies, and you CAN get a job!
To help put your 20 application in perspective, the last time I was job hunting I was trying to send out batches of 30-40 applications at a time! I would round up many positions I could do, categorized them by the type of cover letter they should have, used a few different templates for my letter and customized it a little for each position.
I know the feeling you are having right now, but the feeling is TEMPORARY, and you're almost done!
You need energy for one final push and then you are free to pursue a lot of exciting, wonderful opportunities. Hacker News needs more sharp people like you.
Cant wait to see your update posts next year when you tell us how great your new job is :)
Re: Ask HN: I am 30yrs and never had a full time job, now suicidal. Any life advice?
#59Hi Tevlon,
You're actually a very fortunate person and regardless of your circumstances, you have the ability to get out of it all and still feel happy. You're also an important individual with a mission to fulfill.
Similar to you, I also was in a financial struggle. I often looked to others and questioned why me - I had a full time job, I was studying for my Masters and I also had to manage our family mortgage.
The fact that you're doing your Masters already shows what a well accomplished academic you are. Not many people can say that they have the good fortune to study or have the ability to get as far as you so congratulations.
I'd be happy to chat with you further about my experience getting over my financial difficulties but the bottom line is as you continue to persevere, you will be able to break through everything! And I mean everything! I also sought a lot of encouragement from Buddhism and kept my spirits up with people's experiences.
I applied to hundred plus jobs and had about 90 rejections but honestly, it doesn't matter because all you need is just that 1 employer to accept you. And funny as it is, it will be the right job for you.
Cheers. You have a magnificent life ahead of you. What you're going through now will only create a strong foundation for who you're going to be in the future.
Re: Ask HN: I am 30yrs and never had a full time job, now suicidal. Any life advice?
#60Hi there,
my better half is finishing her PhD in biology and is now 31. She is still a student and has the exact same fear that you have.
All of our friends all have bought a house and are starting to have kids (a friend of mine already have 3) while we are both of us on one salary while she finishes her PhD.
This is a normal feeling. The fact that you don't have any job experience makes it scary for you as you feel you haven't been participating in society like most people around you do.
It is normal to experience several rejections before being accepted - we all have this issue.
I think that the biggest issue on your side is the fact that you feel old. Older than the rest of the people around you who are "advancing in life" and you feel you are not.
I will say : don't worry too much about it.
If you are competent enough (and I am sure you are), you will face several rejections before being accepted in a position and everything will start to unlock from there. Sure you have some debts but most of us do too and we are all doing fine.
Try to expand the companies you are reaching to include smaller or bigger companies depending on what you feel is the right environment for you.
Sorry for any mistakes as english is not my native language.
Take care and stay strong, you'll see that everything will start to unlock soon.
Edit : also, what you feel right now will make you more experienced and, later, you could take advantage of having lived this to prevent others from happening. I feel confident for you and I am sure in the end, you will enjoy your life like you should.