Hacker News Board Hacker News, browsed like a classic message board
Live data from Hacker News

What we lost when we stopped letting kids leave the front yard

stevemagness.substack.com

Post reply on HN
Print view View original

491–500 of 632 posts

Re: What we lost when we stopped letting kids leave the front yard

#491

Post by mindcrime »

As a GenX kid who was pretty much literally "raised on hose water and neglect", I find it incredibly hard to relate to modern parenting (disclaimer: I don't have children). I had SO much freedom to roam around and do stuff, and half the time my parents had no idea where I was. Once I got into bicycle riding, I'd jump on my bike and go miles and miles from home. And there were no ubiquitous cell phones back then, so if your parents need to find you quick it was pretty much "call all the other parents and popular hang out spots and ask "have you seen Phil?", and/or jump in the car and start visiting the spots they knew I frequented.

Was there a measure of danger to allowing a 12 year old that much freedom? Sure, probably. But to illustrate something that lines up perfectly with TFA... the worst thing that ever happened to me or any of my friends during this time, was when me and my then best friend were riding our bikes on the road between our homes, and he was struck by a car.

Were we ever worried about being kidnapped, or any of that crap? Hell no. That's not to say it couldn't have happened, but that wasn't on anybody's minds back then (I'm talking approx 1984 - 1990 or so).

That said, if I were a parent today, I think I'd be somewhat scared to give my kids the same amount of freedom I had. Which makes me a hypocrite I guess? Maybe I've bought into too much of the prevailing media narrative stuff myself.

Re: What we lost when we stopped letting kids leave the front yard

#492

Post by scelerat »

As I'm sure many people on HN with kids do, I think very highly of my toddler's capabilities. I'm looking forward to the day I can stick him on a cross-town bus and have him fly solo (or at least with a peer/buddy). I'm hoping he can do it by age eight or nine. That was the same age my parents let me ride my bike several miles across town to a friend's house.

My biggest fear for my kid out in the world is not abduction, but injury or death by automobile.

Re: What we lost when we stopped letting kids leave the front yard

#493

Post by buellerbueller »

ivell wrote: post #474
Aeolun wrote: post #385

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I keep telling my wife our son is literally more likely to be hit by lightning than to be snatched by some rando, but somehow that is hard to understand.

Not many movies are made on people getting hit by lightning. Perception beats stats and facts.

yes, feels and vibes beat rationality and science.

Is it any surprise the US is backsliding?

Re: What we lost when we stopped letting kids leave the front yard

#495

Post by forlorn_mammoth »

nine_k wrote: post #39
alex_young wrote: post #17

I want to let my kids walk wherever they want to. It’s great for them. My 5 year old bikes to school, accompanied by an adult. It’s a bit more than half a mile away from the house. I’d like to tell him he can do this on his own next year, but there’s a single intersection he has to cross that makes this difficult. I’m not worried about him getting lost, abducted by a stranger or any host of movie plot scenarios. I’m…

I wonder why all these trucks (with the size, these are not cars) don't have forward-looking cameras mounted somewhere near headlights and feeding a screen on the dashboard, which would offer a "window" through the motor compartment. It should be trivially simple to produce, and most vehicles already have a screen for the camera on the back. Its presence would likely lower the insurance premium significantly, due to…

So should the driver be watching out the windshield, or starting down at the screen?

Re: What we lost when we stopped letting kids leave the front yard

#496

Post by yoyohello13 »

chrisgd wrote: post #486
slfnflctd wrote: post #320

Earlier quoted context omitted.

My childhood was free range. Some of the greatest memories of my life (admittedly, also some not-so-great ones, but still) are from that time period. Maybe I was lucky to not get severely injured or abducted, but I do feel it helped me become a more resilient and independent person. I moved out of my parents' house at 18 and never had to go back for more than a few weeks. I have persevered through a widely varied arr…

Perhaps those are your greatest memories because that is what you were doing as a child. Would your greatest memories of you grow up now be playing Minecraft online?

I don’t really know the answer. I grew up in the early 2000s with a mix of video games and ‘outside with friends on the woods’ time. I have many great memories of playing games, but by far my best are always the ones, in person, out in the woods. Even my best gaming memories were at lan parties. Being in-person with friends is just better.

Re: What we lost when we stopped letting kids leave the front yard

#497

Post by mapt »

BurningFrog wrote: post #349
ryandrake wrote: post #318

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Good point about the proliferation of the absurd “crime” of loitering, which apparently just means “existing somewhere without spending money.” I remember being a teen in the 80s and what we did every day would be considered “loitering” today. There’s not much else for kids to do outside the home besides loiter.

So why were loitering laws introduced? I doubt it was purely a sadistic effort to ruin the lives of kids. My guess is that combatting gang crime was a major reason.

Modern loitering laws in small-town America, post-Civil-War, were typically originally intended to enslave the entire population of black men remaining in town, or otherwise drive them out. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=j4kI2h3iotA It took most of a century for the economy to really convert everything over to an hourly-pay model. This is not the only reason, but it is the dominant, proximate one that enshrined the practice.

Places with less black-white racial animus were comfortable adopting animus for other minorities, or for the poor in general. Post-Civil-Rights, loitering laws (and a panoply of other practices ranging from swimming pools to mortgage approvals to cul-de-sacs) were exploited not to enslave, but principally to simply eject categories of people.

For a take on the origins of the Anglo cultural tradition of persecuting the poor in general, this goes a lot further back - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2ec9Al5ezYs

Re: What we lost when we stopped letting kids leave the front yard

#498

Post by prmoustache »

The issue is not only on the parents side. For years my daughter walked on their own to their primary school. But same school didn't allow kids to leave the school unless a parent/legal guardian or person allowed by them would show up. I was ready to sign a paper but they refused.

Regarding leaving the front yard, there are so many communities/streets with lots of interdictions like prohibition to play with a ball, this is ridiculous. Yes kids are noisy, I know I have a small football field next to my office where kids still hang out after school and play until way past sunset. They are still less noisy than traffic and they bring life to otherwise boring neighborhoods.

Re: What we lost when we stopped letting kids leave the front yard

#499

Post by tpdly »

gsinclair wrote: post #380
lopis wrote: post #316

Earlier quoted context omitted.

This take makes no sense, if you take into account that 100 families could live in the space of one single detached home. High density building isn't suddenly going to take over suburbs like that.

That’s a huge exaggeration. Tall buildings require a much greater footprint than a single detached home. Knock down three adjacent homes and you can get maybe 6-8 levels, which would be no more than 40 families.

Average density in an urban core (North America) is like 90 residents per acre, vs like 5 res/acre in suburbs. Not a very big exaggeration

Re: What we lost when we stopped letting kids leave the front yard

#500

Post by greenavocado »

hylaride wrote: post #414
dfxm12 wrote: post #333

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Parks have operating hours. Cities have noise ordinances, etc., to give Cops options for booking who they want for whatever they want. Cops don't necessarily care what the laws are, anyway. I've taken a ride in paddy wagons to a station before for hanging out in a playground because a neighbor said we were causing trouble. We were just talking. No, we weren't processed, but we were left to figure out our own way back…

The small rural Canadian town I grew up in (~2000 people) during the 1990s had a real estate agent that would call the cops if he saw any teenagers out after 9pm. He would literally lie to them, saying we were causing trouble if we were just walking to the convenience store. He was trying to keep the town "desirable" or something. This man fought anything that would keep teenagers occupied. Skate parks, benches, etc.…

Compare how things were back then to now and this RE agent probably stroked out from the mannerisms of the recent newcomers
Post reply on HN