Never pay for online dating (2010) • Hacker News Board

Re: Never pay for online dating (2010)

#491

Post by PoignardAzur » Thu, Oct 13, 2022, 1:53 PM UTC

tzs wrote: post #339

EmilyHughes wrote: post #62

I don't get it. Why does no government anywhere run a non-profit dating site from tax-payer money when this is becoming the most popular way people are meeting? All the options people have are using toxic apps which entire business model is to undermine the self-esteem of young men and scamming them out of their money. And then people wonder where the mental health problems and mass shootings come from. I really don'…

> I don't get it. Why does no government anywhere run a non-profit dating site from tax-payer money when this is becoming the most popular way people are meeting? California kind of accidentally did so a few years. They thought they were simply running a public sex offender registry, but it occurred to some sex offenders it was also a state run directory of people that would be less likely to be put off by their own…

Wouldn't it have the same problem as dating sites of being male-dominated, except x100?

Re: Never pay for online dating (2010)

#492

Post by mikepurvis » Thu, Oct 13, 2022, 3:03 PM UTC

orta wrote: post #476

nerdponx wrote: post #200

Earlier quoted context omitted.

If I were an unethical data scientist working at Tinder, I would actually reserve the best matches until later in the period, after the initial flurry of "visibility" subsides a bit. That way you are less likely to immediately find a good date or two in the first few matches, helping to ensure that you will not just unsubscribe next month, while providing you with enough tantalizing options that you think it makes se…

One of the protagonists in the book Version Control works in customer service in a role a lot like you're describing, it's a great read for anyone into sci-fi https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/25733442-version-control

Thanks for the recommendation! I have a long flight coming up so I'll check this out for sure.

Re: Never pay for online dating (2010)

#493

Post by edem » Thu, Oct 13, 2022, 6:46 PM UTC

A funny anecdote: back in the day there was an app called Flamite that used the now defunct tinder api and you could use it to automate matchmaking. what i did is to yes everyone and then i waited a week. i had 200 matches. I then checked all profiles and removed 120 that i didn't like. i wrote to the remaining 80. i had good chats with 20 of them, met 3 of them and now I'm happily married to one.

Re: Never pay for online dating (2010)

#494

Post by tongpu » Fri, Oct 14, 2022, 4:31 AM UTC

app idea: if anyone watches Indian Matchmaking, the matchmaker gets "paid' during the wedding (or through other gifts and influence). so there is a huge incentive to marry (if that was the only end goal to dating). also you don't really get many choices (maybe only 3 over a few months) so there is a lot of hopefulness, openess, compromises (and expectations, that makes for the drama in the show. )

if traditional matchmaking has worked, why not just apply new tools to what humanity has been doing?

Re: Never pay for online dating (2010)

#495

Post by OkGoDoIt » Fri, Oct 14, 2022, 8:50 AM UTC

mock-possum wrote: post #486

romankolpak wrote: post #82

Related personal anecdote: I am experimenting with Tinder subscription at the moment, and it feels incredibly exploitative. When you make a profile, matches are frequent and you can tell that you show up for people. However it gradually falls down with time, and the only predictable and obvious way to get back up is to pay for Boosts and/or Priority Likes. Right now my 6-month old profile gets ZERO likes outside of t…

I've only ever used ok cupid back in the day, not tinder, but - why do likes matter? Can't you still use the search function to find people you're interested, and begin interacting my messaging them?

No, not anymore. OkCupid is just a stack of people you swipe right or left on now, just like Tinder.