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Without parental leave I might be dead

nytimes.com

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Re: Without parental leave I might be dead

#491

Post by Domenic_S »

familyemta123 wrote: post #254
commandlinefan wrote: post #223

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Did you ask for an extended leave of absence? Many employers are a lot more humane than a lot of employees give them credit for, whether they're bound by law or not.

I created a throw away for this, but during a recent family emergency, my small 100 person company decided to fire me rather than allow my request for 3 months off without pay. They could easily have supported it, and I was a good employee, but instead I heard now they've replaced me with an Eastern European contractor for cheap. So rather than help me in my time of need, after I had saved their ass from some other c…

No FMLA?

Re: Without parental leave I might be dead

#492

Post by maccolgan »

mabbo wrote: post #311
TheCapn wrote: post #70

My first child is due January. I sat down with my boss about a month or so ago and told him I'm intending to take parental leave. "No problem" he said, I told him my intention was to take the full 8 weeks I'm entitled to. He didn't say anything right away to that... eventually it was more of a "...that's not typical for the guys around here" We did a bit of back and forth. (I think he went to HR to find out he can't…

I'm about a month behind you, but the difference is that I'm in Canada. I'll be taking 8 weeks, and most people are asking "is that all?". My wife and I get to split 69 weeks, of which neither of us can take more than 61. She's going to take the max, plus her 15 weeks she gets post-birth (76 weeks total) and I'll take 8 right at the start. We get a small amount of government-paid employment insurance, and jobs will e…

The company (not your government) pays for 69 weeks of... nothingness? and then government also pays for the full education up to employment?

Re: Without parental leave I might be dead

#493

Post by maccolgan »

beaconstudios wrote: post #433
lucaspm98 wrote: post #407

Earlier quoted context omitted.

There's a reason for that. The majority of countries with these socialized services have suffered from the corruption, bureaucracy, and taxation innate with government control. This is with the notable exception of a few countries with vast natural resources providing an economic baseline, and likely more importantly a relatively small and homogenous population with similar needs and opinions.

The US is one of the wealthiest MEDC countries, and "homogeneous population" is just racist drivel.

If you can't understand why people would be more motivated for pay for socialized services when people who consume those services are more like themselves, you need to reflect on your worldview.

Re: Without parental leave I might be dead

#494

Post by Gatsky »

kingsloi wrote: post #217

I literally worked for most of my child's 8 month life, from her ICU room, I worked the morning of her 9 surgeries, I worked through the genetic diagnosis, I worked through being told my child has brain bleeds, neuroblastoma, is deaf, re-intubated, etc... if my insurance wasn't tied to my work, I would've quit in a heartbeat. I'm convinced I'll go to my grave with working that time being my biggest regret in life. I…

Sometimes I think we will never escape the fundamental brutality of life.

Thank you for sharing this story, I'm so sorry this happened to your family.

Re: Without parental leave I might be dead

#495

Post by WesleyJohnson »

Fantosism wrote: post #449
nickff wrote: post #355

Earlier quoted context omitted.

> " On average in the US, 1 in 2 bankruptcies are due to medical debt. I think it's disingenuous to include the "biggest costs of life" and omit what is arguably the largest for an american citizen." If one's income is as low as the parent described, they would likely be eligible for Medicaid.

Medicaid is for low-income earners. The parent described the median-income earner. In my state of Arizona, if you were grossing 36,000 a year with a family of 3 you would be about 20% over the threshold to qualify for medicaid.

That's just insane. The US healthcare system is absolute shit. Yes, I'm an American.

Re: Without parental leave I might be dead

#496

Post by lotsofpulp »

merpnderp wrote: post #455
lotsofpulp wrote: post #97

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I can only assume you have no experience of what breast pumping entails, and the biological and chemical effects of a mother breastfeeding her baby. It is not true that it is "without issue". Not being able to directly breastfeed your baby leads to many downsides, even just mechanical ones. Such as decreased or erratic milk production, clogged nipple ducts, engorged breasts, all which are greatly reduced when an infa…

Yes, I've raised kids. Mine were only up maybe 30 minutes every 2-3 hours when born. And there are 16 hours when a mom isn't working to have all those benefits you discussed. And if you can find a study that says there's a discernible difference in childhood outcomes based on those additional 8 hours of contact between a child and mother, I'd love to see it because I can't imagine in all the factors that involve chil…

Subtract commuting time, pumping time, getting ready time, etc out of those 16 hours.

And no, there is not going to be a study that shows a discernible difference in childhood outcomes. That’s an immeasurable metric.

But it is known that babies extract milk and regulate milk production much preferably compared to pumps, from the woman and the baby’s perspective. And that benefit alone is worth the 0.1% a nation shaves off its GDP.

Sounds like you had some awesome babies. My kids took at least 1 hour to feed each time between latching, burping, puking, pooping, being fussy, and falling asleep while feeding. Seeing what my wife went through even with 6 months of leave, I would want my daughter to have better.

Obviously we can toss the kids in daycare and put the moms back to work and put the pumping burden on them. And then watch the data show the length of time kids drink breastmilk go down. Or we can step back and evaluate why the most “advanced” and “prosperous” society cannot give its women a year to raise their infant and protect their job.

Re: Without parental leave I might be dead

#497

Post by jgwil2 »

tomp wrote: post #194
KaiserPro wrote: post #28

I really cant understand the logic of forcing women back into work after 2-4 weeks. Its just not beneficial for anyone. The mum is utterly frazzled. The employer gets half an employee back Society is conditioned to think that the only practical way to raise a baby is to give up on work/get live in care. now, to look at it from a "my mum managed, I don't want to undermine the american nuclear family" point of view: Ye…

You're free to move to Europe, earn 3x less, and get 1-2 years parental leave (actually not just for mothers in some countries!)

Hmm, I'm pretty sure that Europe has not opened its borders.

Re: Without parental leave I might be dead

#498

Post by mrtesthah »

bell-cot wrote: post #269
familyemta123 wrote: post #254

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I created a throw away for this, but during a recent family emergency, my small 100 person company decided to fire me rather than allow my request for 3 months off without pay. They could easily have supported it, and I was a good employee, but instead I heard now they've replaced me with an Eastern European contractor for cheap. So rather than help me in my time of need, after I had saved their ass from some other c…

A slightly more sophisticated strategy - dedicate more then the minimum effort to a company...but only after they demonstrate decent devotion to good employees. So "Tit for Tat", very roughly.

Often an employee won’t find that out until they’re fired for getting pregnant.

Re: Without parental leave I might be dead

#499

Post by lucaspm98 »

freeflight wrote: post #418
lucaspm98 wrote: post #407

Earlier quoted context omitted.

There's a reason for that. The majority of countries with these socialized services have suffered from the corruption, bureaucracy, and taxation innate with government control. This is with the notable exception of a few countries with vast natural resources providing an economic baseline, and likely more importantly a relatively small and homogenous population with similar needs and opinions.

> The majority of countries with these socialized services have suffered from the corruption, bureaucracy, and taxation innate with government control. The majority of these countries rank better on these metrics than the US does. > This is with the notable exception of a few countries with vast natural resources providing an economic baseline I can only think of one notable exception on that front, that being Norway…

Scandinavian welfare system is only possible because Scandinavian countries are more or less small and homogeneous. Social stigma is huge part in making sure people do not freeload and do not abuse social safety nets. That social stigma will not work in big, diverse and marred by identity politics countries like the US or even Canada (in my opinion).

Re: Without parental leave I might be dead

#500

Post by lucaspm98 »

beaconstudios wrote: post #433
lucaspm98 wrote: post #407

Earlier quoted context omitted.

There's a reason for that. The majority of countries with these socialized services have suffered from the corruption, bureaucracy, and taxation innate with government control. This is with the notable exception of a few countries with vast natural resources providing an economic baseline, and likely more importantly a relatively small and homogenous population with similar needs and opinions.

The US is one of the wealthiest MEDC countries, and "homogeneous population" is just racist drivel.

Scandinavian welfare system is only possible because Scandinavian countries are more or less small and homogeneous. Social stigma is huge part in making sure people do not freeload and do not abuse social safety nets. That social stigma will not work in big, diverse and marred by identity politics countries like the US or even Canada (in my opinion).

Actually, cultural traits penetrate all aspects of their economic system not just welfare system. For example due to social norms business competition between two businesses may not be as adversarial as it is normally seen in the US, unions are not as adversarial in relation to corporations and corporations are not as adversarial toward unions, government bureaucrats are not as adversarial (and boneheaded) toward businesses as in the US and so on.

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