471–480 of 517 posts
Earlier quoted context omitted.
>It boils down to "everyone might be miserable, but someone else is getting rich so it's good." Aren't Scandinavian people statistically the happiest? That's not anglo culture.
Isn't the suicide rate highest in Scandinavian countries and lowest in South Europe?
Earlier quoted context omitted.
Hey @scyzoryk_xyz I laughed out loud and could understand the tongue in cheek sediment before the edits. When I was younger dreamed about becoming rich and buying a whole subdivision and moving my family and friends into the compound. Obviously, that was before I actually had a wife and children. Compromise is the only way relationships work with family and friends. Good thing is you have more than enough HN Karma to…
Ended up with a karmic boost instead ¯\_( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)_/¯ Yeah I’ve made decisions to go back, but haven’t started a family. I’ve been curiously observing how much for those friends around me with kids friction against „society” is a whole thing.
But if you've never had kids, you're missing out on so much. This is just my experience, and is how I "grew up" from 20-35. I didn't want kids, but now love them so much, and as 55 year old man, with a 21 and 20 year old that still live with me, I'm doing so well, and have been blessed by them being in my life, and my wife who wanted kids more than I did, lol.
I know you are probably aware of this, and it probably tears at you, in some way. I know it did for me. And your mission, if you choose to accept it is not to live life on your own terms, but on the terms of God (imho), your health, your wife, your kids (if you choose to have them), and ultimately in others, which once you perfect the previous, you will want to help others more than anyone else.
Not everyone has to have children of course, and in many ways it'd be easier if you didn't, but it sounds to me like your seeking new paths, and this is a life changer, imho, and something that every generation before you did, to have you, and bring YOU to life.
Good luck!
Earlier quoted context omitted.
I have! Indians can tell I’m Bangladeshi and exclude me in just us desis” groups. And once I was riding in an elevator with an Arab family and they said something in Arabic about the “Bangladeshi” that I assume wasn’t very nice. The only time a white American ever said anything negative to me was a middle school bully, and I called him a pig-nosed pink pig in response. Both of us were just looking to get a rise out o…
when white people call me chinese ching chong it's not racism, but when arab people say something about bangladeshi, then of course it's racism? i have a couple guesses as to why you would think this way and it's sad.
The comments by the Arabs, by contrast, is based on a racial ideology. Though I don’t get worked up about it because who cares about a random interaction at the mall? The only thing I’ve ever experienced that I’d call material racism is the social exclusion by Indian people. Because that arises in professional or workplace contexts.
rich people problems
Rilly? In my experience, many of the rich people are isolated and paralyzed by concerns about status and wealth and family connections and .... It's the poor who are often able to put those issues aside because they have so little status and wealth. They have nothing to lose.
Earlier quoted context omitted.
Ended up with a karmic boost instead ¯\_( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)_/¯ Yeah I’ve made decisions to go back, but haven’t started a family. I’ve been curiously observing how much for those friends around me with kids friction against „society” is a whole thing.
Your commments are great, and made me lol, which is super rare - great insight, honestly... thanks But if you've never had kids, you're missing out on so much. This is just my experience, and is how I "grew up" from 20-35. I didn't want kids, but now love them so much, and as 55 year old man, with a 21 and 20 year old that still live with me, I'm doing so well, and have been blessed by them being in my life, and my w…
I do appreciate you sharing the idea. It takes maturity to stop thinking only about your own terms, your own wants, your own needs. To take responsibility in one sense but to also accept your limitations. That bigger thing can be God.
Thank you for your kind words. The big question that is turning in my mind is if this is the only one path. Obviously, folks without kids don’t feel the urge to go around pushing others not to have them. And folks with kids love their children, so it’s not like they’re not going to want to share how profound it is for them. I used to perceive growing your family as this tedious chore, but I’m also starting to see how it can also be a wonderful gift.
It’s a big dilemma regardless. I just would not be sure whether to make the choice for my brood to live in a bunker commune surrounded by weapons, or whether to insert them into a world of skyscraper elite back-stabbing palace intrigue. On one hand I could ensure my blood mixes with that of our other apex predator families. But on another I could throw them into a doctrine of pain and suffering that grinds them into strength and perseverance. Decisions!
Earlier quoted context omitted.
People don’t shout anything at me, racial or otherwise. Certainly not “1 in 20” strangers on the street. So I find OP’s story difficult to believe and likely lacking context. > Park next to someone? They yell, "This ain't China, don't park so close." Walk home from school? Students yell ching chong at me. Shit is messed. Is this “racism” or bad manners/people trying to get a rise out of you? Did that guy yell at you…
again, super happy for you. but i feel some people try to go out of their way to convince themselves that racism is not at play even when it clearly is, because it paints a picture where they are somehow "better" than those who experience hatred. the guy who yelled at me to park farther away, when I called him out on what he said, he walked up to me in an imposing manner and said, "so yeah, I can be a little racist,…
I go back and forth on this. I still keep in touch with a bunch of high school and college friends. For better or worse those guys know "the real me" and the history and relationships are impossible to replace. They all still live close together but I live far away - I only see them once or twice a year, if that (less right now because we're all in the "very young kids" stage). I miss them. On the other hand, when I…
I don’t know if it’ll help any, but I maintain a solid handful of group chats with friends of mine from years long past. I don’t have a social media pretense at all, and the “intimate” nature of a “raw” group chat has helped me, personally, keep in touch with people I otherwise wouldn’t have.
About 7 years ago one of my college friends drunkenly made a slack group for us all. At the time we were about a decade out of college and have been friends since freshman year. The slack group has been going strong since.
There are times where it goes quiet for a while, then one message will fire it back up. And it’s cool to see it evolve where now we talk about house projects, family things, etc.
We also use it to coordinate times to hang out which e great since we live in different cities.
I also have some WhatsApp groups from other periods of life, but just mentioning the Slack group because it’s something I wouldn’t have thought of and has really helped maintain our connection 20 years after we all met.
Earlier quoted context omitted.
The point is that no one in practice selects a random sample of the people living near them. Everyone they meet is from some self-selected sub-group—the people who live close to X park, the people who work at Y place, the people who shop at Z store. And the larger the city, the more people there are nearby you who are like you, so your total variety experienced will be smaller unless you're actively going out of your…
I just don't agree (aside from the part about small towns, I guess, but that's not relevant to SF). If OP can't find differing personalities in a place like SF, it's a skill issue, sorry to say.
That's the point, isn't it? You need to try, and have both the determination and "skill", to find variety when the environment gives you homogeneity.
I'm sure I could find an elementary school teacher, or an insurance salesperson to chit-chat with in SF or NY. I never tried, cause why would I? These aren't Pokemon to collect. It just so happens that my gym in the middle of Manhattan filters quite strongly for a certain income level, and thus age, but also profession, etc. In my current gym we all just go to the same class together.
Next time I'm in SF or NY I guess I can invest the time and effort to join a facebook group to meet school teachers, if that's what we mean by skill here.
Earlier quoted context omitted.
Same when I lived in Paris for me, I feel more of that randomness in encounters the parent commenter talks about in my small rural (albeit touristic) town.
You're saying the average person from the XVIth and XXth district are the same? The VIIth and the XIIIth? From what I've seen from these large cities, the only reason people think that is that they remain in their small subset, which is large enough for them not to notice the rest. If you're so inclined, sure, your small rural town is too small to have more than one community, and so there will be a little bit of soc…
There's a double crux here; Firstly, why would you? By sheer numbers I'm sure there's more school teachers, insurance salespeople and tattoo artists in NY than where I currently live. But while in NYC, why would I have gone out of my way to meet people with these professions specifically when there was plenty of people demanding my time in my circles already? Where I currently live, I just meet them at the gym.
Secondly, this applies to the other side too. While in SF I once people went to a party with a group of people that was very into photography. I never saw them again. Thinking about their perspective, why would they have hung out with me again? We lived far from each other (Oakland vs SF), they had own clique, and I'm not really into photography. The pull was weak both ways. I don't share much with the insurance salesperson I met at the gym, but it's the daily routine that's led to a meeting point, without any side having to "try", chatting, etc.
NYC has diversity by the numbers, but if you talk about an individual's perspective, there's very strong clustering leading to local homogeneity. SF isn't that big, so I'm not even sure if it has more diversity by the numbers compared to where I now live. But the filters leading someone to move to SF are strong, as is thus the pull to cluster with people that are very similar to you based on where you live, shop, workout, etc.
Earlier quoted context omitted.
again, super happy for you. but i feel some people try to go out of their way to convince themselves that racism is not at play even when it clearly is, because it paints a picture where they are somehow "better" than those who experience hatred. the guy who yelled at me to park farther away, when I called him out on what he said, he walked up to me in an imposing manner and said, "so yeah, I can be a little racist,…
[flagged]