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Without parental leave I might be dead

nytimes.com

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Re: Without parental leave I might be dead

#471

Post by MandieD »

KaiserPro wrote: post #111
bko wrote: post #59

Earlier quoted context omitted.

> Given that _every_ other "civilised" country has some sort of rudimentary care for new parents, which doesn't acutally cost that much, I can't see any reasonable objection to not having it. Giving a special benefit that will for the most part only be exercised by women discourages hiring women. You can still think its worth it, but don't pretend like you're baffled by anyone who would object or question how this im…

So UK maternity leave is shared. Its a year with 6 months "pay" How its taken is up to the parents. The people that I know who've taken it have split it fairly evenly. (I know I know sample size.) I did not take any, as I was not eligible at the time. As someone who does a lot of recruiting, I don't think "hmm I'm going to have to pay this woman for mat leave" because frankly that's bollocks, who knows who's going to…

Solid parenting advice, or a consulting technique: the “wish list” from “How to talk so kids will listen, how to listen so kids will talk”, or putting something that seems ridiculous into the backlog to keep the meeting moving.

Wonderful comment that brought this book and idea to my attention: https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=27468582

Re: Without parental leave I might be dead

#472

Post by familyemta123 »

SuoDuanDao wrote: post #331
chinchilla2020 wrote: post #301

Earlier quoted context omitted.

It might be an ethical move to name and shame this company. It could save a future employee from joining them.

I too think it would be proper to share that information if you feel it would not impact your job search (and let's be frank, if they would do what they did they can't do much worse). Protecting abusers is not a good policy.

Unfortunately, due to a legal agreement I signed to get them to pay for medical benefits for a few additional months and have a small separation payment, I cannot do so. If I did, they could sue me for several times the amount of benefit I gained, and I'm not in a good position for that now.

Re: Without parental leave I might be dead

#473

Post by xtracto »

kingsloi wrote: post #217

I literally worked for most of my child's 8 month life, from her ICU room, I worked the morning of her 9 surgeries, I worked through the genetic diagnosis, I worked through being told my child has brain bleeds, neuroblastoma, is deaf, re-intubated, etc... if my insurance wasn't tied to my work, I would've quit in a heartbeat. I'm convinced I'll go to my grave with working that time being my biggest regret in life. I…

> if my insurance wasn't tied to my work, I would've quit in a heartbeat.

This is something I just don't get to grok about the US. Here in Mexico we are supposedly "copying" the best of the US (sigh), having the option of paying for "major" health insurance with insurers like NewYork Life, along with other local ones (GNP, AXA). A year of mayor medical insurance costs around $3,000 USD a year. Sure, it is by no means a small amount, but it is definitely doable in case of an emergency.

There´s even something called "excess insurance" that you can buy as a individual while you are working. It covers any spending "on top" of whatever your companies' insurance covers, and serves to "exhaust" any cooling-off periods, so that if you are out of your job at some point, you convert it to full private insurance and get all the benefits.

Re: Without parental leave I might be dead

#474

Post by xtracto »

mabbo wrote: post #311
TheCapn wrote: post #70

My first child is due January. I sat down with my boss about a month or so ago and told him I'm intending to take parental leave. "No problem" he said, I told him my intention was to take the full 8 weeks I'm entitled to. He didn't say anything right away to that... eventually it was more of a "...that's not typical for the guys around here" We did a bit of back and forth. (I think he went to HR to find out he can't…

I'm about a month behind you, but the difference is that I'm in Canada. I'll be taking 8 weeks, and most people are asking "is that all?". My wife and I get to split 69 weeks, of which neither of us can take more than 61. She's going to take the max, plus her 15 weeks she gets post-birth (76 weeks total) and I'll take 8 right at the start. We get a small amount of government-paid employment insurance, and jobs will e…

This is what Americans have never kind of enjoyed about "big government" (i.e. government heavily regulating some society rules): Private companies will always strive to minimize losses, and individuals have pretty tiny leverage force to negotiate. The government is capable of implementing laws fully in favour of such individuals, and maybe also unions could get more leverage, but they are also seen in bad light in the US.

Re: Without parental leave I might be dead

#475

Post by xtracto »

DoingIsLearning wrote: post #393
AndyMcConachie wrote: post #304

Earlier quoted context omitted.

From the US and live in The Netherlands now. Europeans can understand the Republican party through their own history. They're basically just corporate fascists. Italy, Spain, Portugal and Greece all had very similar corporate fascists governments for many years and their policies, politics and backers very closely tracked those of the contemporary American Republican party. Whereas the Dems are a better spoken, sligh…

I agree with the GP comment that the GOP has no right wing parallel in Europe. But your comparison with European Fascism is both innacurate and historically disrespectful. Literally all the fascist regimes in the countries you listed were Military coups in their origin and were all fairly economically inept regimes. They also included all out media censorship, political prisoners, prisoner torture and interrogation,…

> They also included all out media censorship, political prisoners, prisoner torture and interrogation, political assasinations, and genuine terror across civil society

Could it be a matter of comparing Policies vs strategies/tactics?

Re: Without parental leave I might be dead

#476

Post by bradleyjg »

chinchilla2020 wrote: post #307
colechristensen wrote: post #214

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I think the core of the problem has a few basic parts: * the average person/family is trying to live a little beyond their means * “work needed to do” is like a gas, it expands to fit the hours worked * rent seeking elements expand to keep #1 true The takeaway is that there is a lot of “work” being done in the economy that doesn’t need to be done because prices will always rise a little past what people can pay comfo…

This was attempted in New York City and failed miserably. Property values rise in locations that are highly desirable regardless of government or market intervention. It has more do to with the surface area of the earth than any particular policy. A government system will result in similar issues - Look at the retirees and trust funder tenants living in mostly-empty 4 bedroom rent controlled apartments in NYC. You ha…

Governments can:

-cease preventing density by legal fiat

-support density with infrastructure

-cease encouraging home cost inflation via the tax code, socialized lending institutions, and bank capital regulation

-put in place a property tax systems that encourages the most valuable use of land

-eliminate parking mandates and free parking

-broaden the commutable footprint by building excellent mass transit systems

That’s not perfect but if it’s far from nothing.

Re: Without parental leave I might be dead

#477

Post by Manuel_D »

TuringTest wrote: post #330
angelzen wrote: post #239

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Perhaps this is a case of metrics getting ahead of reality. Some circles have taken as an axiomatic truth that any disparity in wages between males and females is an intrinsic scandal. Perhaps there are some reasons for that, for example the tradeoff between forcing mothers back into the workforce vs. giving them ample time (order of 12 months) to recover and take care of the new born. For the not parents out there,…

> Some circles have taken as an axiomatic truth that any disparity in wages between males and females is an intrinsic scandal. All babies are created by two humans.* Why should the career of one of them be penalized for it? Why not instead create as a society the tools so that both can share the upbringing and care of the baby while the mother is recovering? * (although the parents are not always the same persons who…

Preferences are not identical between men and women. 72% of fathers say they would ideally work full time, only 20% of mothers do [1]. 50% of mothers say they would ideally want to work part time, 29% not work at all. Furthermore, mothers that work full time are less satisfied with their parenting than part-time and non-working mothers. Crucially, 70% of mothers that currently work full time would rather work part time or not at all. Most mothers with full-time careers don't want to be working full time, and this disparity is more than a 2:1 margin.

1. https://www.pewresearch.org/social-trends/2007/07/12/fewer-m...

Re: Without parental leave I might be dead

#478

Post by notsureaboutpg »

wayfarer1291 wrote: post #228
TheCapn wrote: post #70

My first child is due January. I sat down with my boss about a month or so ago and told him I'm intending to take parental leave. "No problem" he said, I told him my intention was to take the full 8 weeks I'm entitled to. He didn't say anything right away to that... eventually it was more of a "...that's not typical for the guys around here" We did a bit of back and forth. (I think he went to HR to find out he can't…

I am sorry to hear this. As a recent father myself, I find the fact that comparatively few fathers here in the US do (or can) take this leave very sad. The act of caring for our newborn is how we form our attachments and love, and it is ultimately a loss for the dads that choose not to participate in the caring. My dad never really took care of me as a baby (in the feeding, diapers, etc. sense) and is squeamish/ not…

I don't understand, but would like help understanding, this idea.

My father never took care of me as a baby and cannot help with my children now, but I can't say I feel it's a loss at all. I remember my time with him fondly. He and my mom are happy as parents and grandparents.

My father did what my mother never did and my mother did what my father never did. And if both of them had to do two very different jobs at the same time, neither of them would have excelled in either.

Father's don't take paternal leave as often because fathering and mothering aren't the same. Fathering requires being there at different critical and crucial moments, usually later in a child's life. Mothering requires being there at crucial and critical moments, usually earlier in a child's life.

Men and women are different, with different strengths and skills, and deploying these to the best effect for children naturally would lead to men taking less paternal leave.

Re: Without parental leave I might be dead

#479

Post by sangnoir »

sircastor wrote: post #363
kingsloi wrote: post #297

Earlier quoted context omitted.

If I didn't have to pay for medical, I likely could've survived on savings and GoFundMe.

It’s insane to me that our absurd health care system has routed around insurance systems shortcomings by literally begging friends, family and strangers to help us afford basic living. And the insurance companies are laughing all the way to bank.

GoFundMe healthcare is a fractal representative of hypercapitalism/Capitalism with American Characteristics: people use GoFundMe as a last resort while healthcare organizations make absurd profits, then you zoom in and realize GoFundMe is a for-profit that gets a cut of the donations.

Re: Without parental leave I might be dead

#480

Post by Aeolun »

chinchilla2020 wrote: post #307
colechristensen wrote: post #214

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I think the core of the problem has a few basic parts: * the average person/family is trying to live a little beyond their means * “work needed to do” is like a gas, it expands to fit the hours worked * rent seeking elements expand to keep #1 true The takeaway is that there is a lot of “work” being done in the economy that doesn’t need to be done because prices will always rise a little past what people can pay comfo…

This was attempted in New York City and failed miserably. Property values rise in locations that are highly desirable regardless of government or market intervention. It has more do to with the surface area of the earth than any particular policy. A government system will result in similar issues - Look at the retirees and trust funder tenants living in mostly-empty 4 bedroom rent controlled apartments in NYC. You ha…

One house per person seems like a fairly simple way to control rent seeking.
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