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I deleted my social media accounts

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461–470 of 500 posts

Re: I deleted my social media accounts

#461

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Scale matters. You read the obituaries in your local paper, “oh, so and so has passed away”, you don’t know them particularly well, might or might not go to the funeral. Posting it to social media, then thinking if whoever doesn’t contact you to… what? “Sorry for your loss”? “My condolences” … hurts your relationship with that person? Call me old fashioned, but… Is it narcissistic in here, or is it just me?

> Posting it to social media, then thinking if whoever doesn’t contact you to… what? “Sorry for your loss”? “My condolences” … hurts your relationship with that person? That's not what anyone said, you're out here fighting ghosts. > And if someone doesn't reach out, it will hurt the relationship a little even if I'm not conscience of it because when I think of people who were there for me during a tough time, the fri…

It's implied, "And if someone doesn't reach out to say “Sorry for your loss”, it will hurt the relationship a little".

Re: I deleted my social media accounts

#462

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I'm a firm believer being loosely connected to so many people isn't the fix many seem to think it is. I find shallow connections, which is about all social media can support IMO, are worthless at best and detrimental at worst. YMMV, but my quality of life increased in ways I can't even begin to describe by severing all the dozens or perhaps hundreds of shallow connections social media was encouraging me to cling to.…

This kind of comment always makes me wonder, are the people doing this doing well financially to afford cutting off all those "loose" connections with people like that? Because I couldn't imagine just destroying these relationships for no reason when I myself have benefited vastly from keeping them alive, even if barely communicating at all with these people. I think this advice is generally harmful to networking as…

I had only financial losses from these loose connections. Nobody will shove profit down your throat, but there are many greedy people that will try to extract profit from you. I basically work as a bank for them, muh connections, lol.

Re: I deleted my social media accounts

#463

Earlier quoted context omitted.

While I agree that HN usually gathers much interesting content, I don't understand why getting more karma on HN matters anyway. Chasing points anywhere isn't healthy by the way. Say something interesting because it is interesting and sparks a conversation and not for the sake of saying something.

The OP is surely joking. Less than 10k karma since 2015 isn't a serious karma race ;)

In general I tend to balance my karma around 0 on most sites, treating it as a sort of a currency.

But some forums ask nicely to not do that, so I don't, cause I'm a relatively nice guy, and if they ask instead of commanding it, then why not.

As a result, the score keeps piling up for decades. Idk what to do with it, maybe I should start a quest after 10k.

Re: I deleted my social media accounts

#464
post #29

I'm just not reading any of it - not interested. SM addiction is so 2015. I have technical accounts to be able to search for something (e.g. while training loras) or to watch without annoying popups when someone links me to it. This dramatic deletion is overreaction, solve the underlying problem instead. Rather than scrolling instagram and tiktok, visit /news and /newest, and then /ask, /show. If nothing interesting…

While I agree that HN usually gathers much interesting content, I don't understand why getting more karma on HN matters anyway. Chasing points anywhere isn't healthy by the way. Say something interesting because it is interesting and sparks a conversation and not for the sake of saying something.

This is our nature. People who aren't affected by "KPI" are the minority. That's why forums must be very careful with choosing a set of published indicators, because people will "play" these, often unreflectively. HN is well-established so its score system is likely balanced by other means. Or maybe they'd like to change it, but changes like that may literally boil the forum and turn it upside down.

Re: I deleted my social media accounts

#465

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I'm a firm believer being loosely connected to so many people isn't the fix many seem to think it is. I find shallow connections, which is about all social media can support IMO, are worthless at best and detrimental at worst. YMMV, but my quality of life increased in ways I can't even begin to describe by severing all the dozens or perhaps hundreds of shallow connections social media was encouraging me to cling to.…

This kind of comment always makes me wonder, are the people doing this doing well financially to afford cutting off all those "loose" connections with people like that? Because I couldn't imagine just destroying these relationships for no reason when I myself have benefited vastly from keeping them alive, even if barely communicating at all with these people. I think this advice is generally harmful to networking as…

I wouldn't agree it is "vital," but that definitely depends on perspective and one's goals, as well as the baseline level of privilege one enjoys.

If someone's goal is to achieve CEO and/or the top 1%, certainly every single connection could hold extricable value. I'm perfectly fine hovering somewhere in the middle, even knowing I have the capability to achieve much more. My future is uncertain; I probably won't retire when I would have liked. I've accepted that, and choose to live in the present rather than focusing on the future. I know at least I won't die miserable tomorrow.

I don't deny I could have done better financially by maintaining the status quo. Now that I think of it, I'm doing worse financially than when I was using facebook & twitter. I had more money, and my career was progressing at a much higher rate, but I was inconsolable. Without the money, and without the accompanying social media-imposed drag, I see the world more clearly. My relationships are stronger with my wife, kids, and close friends. I am much happier.

Re: I deleted my social media accounts

#467
post #38

This advice to quit social media is always a hit on HN. When I was 10 years younger I read the same thing on HN, was thoroughly convinced and quit social media. I even followed the advice of trying to stay in touch by email. Sure. Turns out that a lot of people I knew posted huge life updates that I completely missed out on. I asked them why they didn’t tell me and they were confused. They said the posted it on socia…

Lots of other replies already so apologies for adding to the clutter, but this sort of message always appears and it feels super dated. Like, 2003-era sentiment about the Facebook heyday. Facebook is like a ghost town now from the "social" and family perspective. I imagine some circles might be strong on it, but from every time this comes up it's clear that the vast majority of normal people have largely abandoned it…

[deleted]

Re: I deleted my social media accounts

#468
post #29

I'm just not reading any of it - not interested. SM addiction is so 2015. I have technical accounts to be able to search for something (e.g. while training loras) or to watch without annoying popups when someone links me to it. This dramatic deletion is overreaction, solve the underlying problem instead. Rather than scrolling instagram and tiktok, visit /news and /newest, and then /ask, /show. If nothing interesting…

While I agree that HN usually gathers much interesting content, I don't understand why getting more karma on HN matters anyway. Chasing points anywhere isn't healthy by the way. Say something interesting because it is interesting and sparks a conversation and not for the sake of saying something.

The desire for upvotes is largely what makes HN and Reddit approach groupthink so quickly. Folks with an opinion that they know will be popular will hyperbolize their opinion knowing that it will appeal to the dominant opinion of the community and get upvotes. People who feel really strongly about an issue then go into a thread and upvote everything they like and downvote the things they don't. They are often also the people with the most time on their hands. That's why heavily moderated subs (like AskHistorians and AskScience) that rely on a more formal moderation structure with credentialed moderators result in much higher quality discourse.

When you know your opinion is shared by the majority of the site, you'll be less careful about what you write and less charitable to folks with different viewpoints. You're more likely to sneer at the "opposition" and performatively signal about your superiority. That's how upvote social sites, like Reddit, end up getting so many highly upvoted "hivemind-like" uncharitable takes. Likewise, if you know your opinion is not shared by the community. You will hedge your writing, emphasize how it's simply your opinion, and water it down with caveats and complications that while true are a lot less emotionally evocative as the comments written by the majority. Eventually folks with minority opinions may just churn as the stepping around eggshells becomes exhausting. This creates further pressure to conform to the majority.

Some folks with majority opinions may not feel that strongly about their opinion but will post strongly anyway, knowing that they'll get upvotes. I've done this when I was younger as the dopamine boost makes you feel like a community hero, like you're "fighting the good fight." I've actually said some incorrect things due to this in the past but have nonetheless been highly upvoted.

HN has some safeguards here, like not being able to downvote someone who replied to you, hiding downvotes behind a karma threshold, and judicious moderation separate from upvotes/downvotes. But it's hard to change the fundamental nature of upvote based sites and the clique dynamics that form as a result.

Re: I deleted my social media accounts

#469

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I think if people want to 'quit' social media, then just use it to keep up to date with friends/family. You follow ONLY friends/family, and limit consumption to only that, don't consume content outside of that circle. These full fledged 'quit' posts are nothing more than an attempt at a political statement that falls on deaf ears.

Does that really work? I haven't used one of these for a while but if I recall they're quite keen to take content that your friends/family have engaged with and ram it down your throat in hopes that you will too. It seems like you'd need all of your friends/family to do the same thing.

So I only use facebook on desktop, I don't have it installed on my phone. When I go to the website, at the top of the page is 'feeds' and on the left is 'friends' filter. I just bookmark that page and only view that.

https://www.facebook.com/?filter=friends&sk=h_chr

Re: I deleted my social media accounts

#470

I'm not really tethered to social media as much as some. I still text and call my closer friends regularly. Similar for family. I do find the reactionary response a bit disturbing. Having been caught up in the trap of "fact checkers" for reposting a political cartoon and similar, I'd definitely prefer the community notes approach. All said the inability of many to have a rational conversation with those they don't co…

My issue with lack of moderation in social media is not the political polarization. My issue is the blatant scams pushed by bots, or by questionable companies paying sub celebrity influencers. Criminals are not willing to have rational conversations. But they just won a free pass from the platforms.

Fraud is a pretty clearly defined crime. Fact checkers weren't demarking scams and bots.

Bot activity is best handled through system pattern matching, not correcting political cartoons.

You also assume that the people doing the fact checking are better informed or otherwise better people than those with the access to propose and vote on community notes. This is unsubstantiated at best.

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