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The dating app paradox

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Re: The dating app paradox

#461

Post by bonton89 »

ravenstine wrote: post #74
michaelt wrote: post #34

If you're interested in this sort of thing, I can recommend creating an account on your dating app of choice with the opposite gender. The experiences are as different as night and day - and the different user groups have completely different requirements of the product. The article is interesting, but IMHO they've really missed the key asymmetries that make good dating apps so hard to build.

Better yet, do some experiments outside of just gender. Make an account for a dog. Or be a guy who's a total douchebag. You may not like what you find. EDIT: Seems people here don't like what I have to say or think I'm kidding. I haven't done the dog experiment myself, though I've seen it done a few times by others. It's quite the realization when a dog gets more attention than you do as a human on a dating app. Yeah…

As d-bag guy, how did you determine if the women's responses were bots or not?

Re: The dating app paradox

#462

Post by bombcar »

intrasight wrote: post #361
d_burfoot wrote: post #289

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I think colleges would be well-advised to create dating systems that encourage healthy relationships (keyword: healthy) between students. Students who marry someone they met at university are much more likely to become enthusiastic alumni. And hookup culture is a disaster for everyone.

One of my daughter's high school classmates created "Marriage Pact".

Anyone suggesting a marriage pact to you is unsubtly flirting with you.

Re: The dating app paradox

#463

Post by [deleted] »

phonon wrote: post #410
throwaway2037 wrote: post #321

Earlier quoted context omitted.

> Funny I’m in almost the same situation and have found dating apps really helpful. I’ve been using them for a few months and it’s like a firehose of dates. It’s surprising because they get a bad rap, but I think I could go on a date every night if I wanted to. To state the obvious, you must be in the top 20% of attractiveness, and probably over 6 feet / 183 cm. Literally, you are a statistical outlier. Multiple stud…

No, women in their 40s get less picky, particularly if you are near their age, don't have baggage, and have the same child raising goals.

[deleted]

Re: The dating app paradox

#464

Post by [deleted] »

user_7832 wrote: post #456
garciasn wrote: post #268

Earlier quoted context omitted.

The burden is on me to prove she used it to prepare for divorce or used it on her affair. It’ll cost at least $100K and probably more to do so and it may not matter. And, no, when you’re married it’s not fraud.

If she was using your money, would that not be some kind of "unauthorized spending" that you could "report" to your bank? I'm not just talking about preparing for divorce but even other expensive purchases. But I can imagine that it's probably near impossible if you're married with a joint bank account... I would still suggest speaking with a lawyer about this if you haven't already, but nonetheless I wish you the be…

[deleted]

Re: The dating app paradox

#465

Post by shadowbanned4 »

TruthSeeking wrote: post #310

Dating apps are a world of abundance, a buffet of sausages for women. For men they are a pit of hell, unless you're either (1) in the top 10% (2) have low standards. Here are some Tinder stats [1] - a man of average attractiveness is “liked” by approximately 0.87% (1 in 115) of women on Tinder. - the bottom 80% of men (in terms of attractiveness) are competing for the bottom 22% of women and the top 78% of women are…

[dead]

Re: The dating app paradox

#466

Post by lazide »

baobabKoodaa wrote: post #458
lazide wrote: post #293

Earlier quoted context omitted.

You wouldn’t get a chance to quit either one, probably. The job might fire the accuser - they might have an incentive to investigate. At the gym you might get arrested and then banned, with no one interested in doing followup to figure out the actual truth - just have you released after it was clear it was fake. The gym wouldn't want anything to do with you either way afterwards.

I don't disagree with any of that. I'm just saying the repercussions for whatever things like that happen, they will be lower at the gym compared to the workplace.

I think you might want to re-read my comment.

Re: The dating app paradox

#467

Post by alickz »

drooby wrote: post #447
alickz wrote: post #440

Earlier quoted context omitted.

> When I see posts like this, I really wonder if men like you just don't know how to write a decent profile intro/bio and post some good photos. Do you ever wonder if your experiences are just not reflective of the majority? Could be they make all the right moves and still lose, it happens more than people are willing to admit I think

Ask your female friends to show you their tinder or hinge apps. Take a look at what most men's profiles look like. It is shocking, funny, and a little bit sad. At least it was for me. Maybe it's because I live in a big city? Idk. Tons of mirror selfies, car selfies, low quality photos, weird forced smiles (no offense - smiles can be improved), red flag prompts, etc. That's most profiles.. the next percentile is avera…

>Tons of mirror selfies, car selfies, low quality photos, weird forced smiles (no offense - smiles can be improved), red flag prompts, etc.

No lie as a man I honestly feel like I see the same

95% of women's profiles don't even have a bio, just a link to their IG or Snapchat and the profile pics are all very similar (you ever see a woman take a pic in front of graffiti/neon wings?)

I've seen men's profiles and I know they tend worse, but in my experience it's not by much

Maybe because a lot of men will swipe on a woman's profile if her first pic is a gym or bikini or nightclub pic regardless of whether she puts a bio or anything personal into it? It's why I use Hinge/Bumble over Tinder anyway, but even then getting interesting personal info from a profile is difficult

>But he's exactly the same as the other 1000 guys that have this profile.

Tbh this is how I feel alright, I'm just 1 of 1000 guys in the DMs, why bother putting in more effort for the same result

damn im jaded with dating apps D: to be 100% clear tho i'm not saying men or women have it worse or men or women are bad/evil/etc. no misogyny or misandry here

Re: The dating app paradox

#468

Post by randomdata »

whstl wrote: post #287
randomdata wrote: post #123

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Apps only get used if they deliver what people want. Apps promise that because that's what people want. (There are always exceptions) > I need to swipe a lot of people to see an average woman. Right. If you were after an average woman (and an average woman was after you, we'll say someone also average), there would be no value proposition in swiping endlessly to find each other. You could both just step outside. Ther…

But the app doesn't promise women or men. It promises potential contacts. And it delivers. That's why people pay premium, etc. If you read again what I said, I never said I was looking specifically for an average woman. What I said is that it takes some time to show them. This changes expectations drastically. It also changes possibility of meeting someone that's "at your league", unless you use the app constantly, a…

> I never said I was looking specifically for an average woman.

Nothing suggested you were...?

> What I said is that it takes some time to show them.

To which I said that's on purpose, because that's not what people want to see. If they did, they'd just go outside. You don't need an app to find average people. The world is teaming with them. It's the quest for someone 'better' that draws people to these apps.

Re: The dating app paradox

#469

Post by baobabKoodaa »

lazide wrote: post #466
baobabKoodaa wrote: post #458

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I don't disagree with any of that. I'm just saying the repercussions for whatever things like that happen, they will be lower at the gym compared to the workplace.

I think you might want to re-read my comment.

I have now re-read your comment. I did not find anything there that I would've misunderstood. Can you explain to me what you feel I misunderstood?

Re: The dating app paradox

#470

Post by phlipski »

golly_ned wrote: post #291
phlipski wrote: post #179

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Married with 3 kids here. If was single today I'd be at the local rock gyms 24/7. I took my kids climbing a few weeks ago and I couldn't believe how many women were in that place. Roughly a 50/50 male/female ratio, and everyone is super fit. Yoga pants - chefs kiss . Easy to strike up conversations too when looking for help with a problem...

| Married with 3 kids | Yoga pants - chefs kiss Gross.

Just because I'm married with kids doesn't mean I've stopped noticing/appreciating beautiful people.
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