Earlier quoted context omitted.
The comparison I am responding to is original PHP ("30 years ago", which itself is garbage of course, given the language did not exist 30 years ago), not the new goalposts you have planted.
I'm not disputing anywhere that the original PHP has issues, and in fact I'm acknowledging that in the beginning of the first paragraph. Adding additional information and context is not moving goalposts. What I'm actually reacting to is the rude provocation at the second paragraph that grandparent must "Look at the actual tech here. Do a tutorial. Discover what the difference is". They probably don't have to, because…
"We did this ages ago" is said so often, rudely and in ignorance, as it was here. And while there are often parallels to support the claim, the important distinctions are missed in ways that are best taught with hands on experience. Hence the suggestion to actually learn the new tools. If course, this is arguing in the internet with a curmudgeon, which I should not have bothered doing. I just don't want to see hn become slashdot, where this poo pooing of new tech happened in every thread.