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I'm an addict

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Re: I'm an addict

#461

Post by [deleted] »

boppo1 wrote: post #339
annie_muss wrote: post #330

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I agree with this completely. I sounded just like the OP. I struggled with it for decades. Then recently I was diagnosed and started taking medication. Some of the problems basically stopped instantly. I implore anyone reading this and noticing it in themselves to go to a professional and find out if you have ADHD or not. I am by no means "cured" or completely functional but at least now I have a fighting chance.

Medication came with unacceptable side-effects for me. Real bummer.

[deleted]

Re: I'm an addict

#462

Post by thomastjeffery »

gspr wrote: post #344
thomastjeffery wrote: post #271

Sounds like OP isn't necessarily an addict: they have ADHD. Half the article was them complaining about poor working memory, and the rest about getting stimulation/dopamine from unhealthy sources. Everyone has "a little ADHD". We all occasionally , forget things, hyperfocus on things we are excited about, etc. ADHD is the disorder of having those struggles so often it's debilitating. It stems from having an underdeve…

How does one generally go about dealing with the fact that the above is a 100% match for oneself, 30-some years into life? I'm feeling physically sweaty realizing how accurately the article – and this comment – describes me.

Whether it leads to an ADHD diagnosis or not, therapy is a great place to start.

And whether you have it or not, learning about ADHD is a great thing to do. I recommend starting with this cheesy yet informative YouTube channel: https://m.youtube.com/c/HowtoADHD

Re: I'm an addict

#463

Post by frontman1988 »

Try the Buddhist meditation technique of Maranasti where you meditate on Death. We live like we are going to live forever and waste a lot of our life doing stuff we would regret doing on our deathbeds. Meditating every morning that you are going to die has profound impact on how you live your life.

Re: I'm an addict

#464

Post by ryandrake »

zivkovicp wrote: post #165
Jaruzel wrote: post #123

Earlier quoted context omitted.

> I recommend religion and religious teachings which address this and many other daily worldly issues perfectly. This advice simply doesn't work if the recipient is an atheist. To me, Religious texts are made up fiction that hold no more meaning in my world view than Harry Potter or Game of Thrones. If you read enough fiction on a shared topic, you'll be able to pull the same number of 'enlightening' quotes from thos…

I am also a non-believer, but I think there is room for religion even for those who have a difficult time with the "fairy tale" aspect of it. Personally, I do not, but I'm thinking about giving it a shot. The thing is that the stories in religious books help paint a picture of life and offer anecdotes on how one can navigate it. There is no need to look for enlightenment, just practical advice on how to deal with tou…

You can pick and choose philosophy and morals from a religion (or multiple religions) without buying the whole farm. To me, this seems like the right way to go. Cherry pick the good stuff and ignore the cruel parts and weird, supernatural stuff.

Church selection seems to play a big role. I don't know too much about it but from other commenters, there are apparently churches that emphasize the mysticism and paranormal side of Christianity, some that focus on the texts, some that mostly deal with hero-worship and the hero's origin story, some that are basically political Trump rallies, and some more laid back ones that are basically social/music clubs.

Re: I'm an addict

#465

Post by ceronman »

I identify myself with many of the things mentioned in this post. I am an addict too. Here is something that has helped me to improve things a little bit. This is of course 100% anecdotal and it might not work on anyone different than me, but here it is anyway:

Initially I also used focus mode and different kinds of blocking apps to try to control my addiction. I configured them to block HN, reddit, lichess, twitter, youtube, etc, allowing me to use them only a few minutes at the end of the day and during the weekends. This approach didn't work so well. It worked fine for a few days but then the abstinence syndrome kicks in and I inevitably ended up "temporarily" disabling the blocks just to get that precious shot of dopamine before starting to work. Additionally, I was still wasting almost all my weekends and holidays consuming garbage.

So I got this idea, what if I tweak the approach a little bit: Instead of blocking the apps during "productive" time, what if I block them during leisure time, i.e at the end of the day and during the weekends. The thing with media consumption addiction is that it leaves me feeling that I don't have time to do anything. I neglect a lot of my personal tasks and goals. Work is something that I have to do somehow, after all I need a salary. Doing apartment chores, reading that book I bought or learning a new skill is something that can always wait. And it's during leisure time that I should be doing those things. So I decided to block media consumption during the weekends and try to do something more meaningful in that time. It's easier to deal with the abstinence syndrome, because the activities can be fun as well, they also produce (more slowly) dopamine, just that they are more meaningful to me. It's easier to skip silly but addictive YouTube videos to work on an interesting programming project than it is to skip it for a boring task at work. And there is also this feeling that it's only for a short time, I can get the dopamine shot later and that somehow tricks my brain. And then on Monday I already feel much better, and without feeling the need to consume that much media.

Re: I'm an addict

#466

Post by spoiler »

projektfu wrote: post #326
rahoulb wrote: post #207

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Then AA is wrong. For many drinkers, suddenly stopping can be life threatening, causing seizures and convulsions. I also stopped drinking, effectively cold turkey - but I wasn't a very heavy drinker, just a habitual one. However, I rejected AA as far too prescriptive in its approach. For anyone reading this who is considering quitting alcohol I recommend r/stopdrinking on reddit, which is an incredibly friendly and s…

For some heavy and consistent drinkers, they should check themselves into a hospital or clinic when they quit. But the vast majority of alcoholics will not develop delerium tremens when they quit. I personally worried about DT when I was drinking a six pack per day and used it as an excuse to never miss a day of drinking. I am probably not alone in my neurosis so telling people that they are likely to develop severe…

I think I agree with your intent and sentiment, and you're definitely right that people make excuses when it comes to quitting (and relapsing).

But IMO more often than not, we should't be flippant or dismissive about the excuses (for relapses or for continuing to use).

For some people, maladaptive coping—and all its consequences—is a cheap price to pay compared to facing a sober existence when unequipped to deal with it.

So even if they quit cold-turkey (or just quit), they won't necessarily improve their quality of life because they don't know why they got into addiction in the first place. However, going to support groups can help meet people. Those who struggle with similar root causes of their addiction tend to cluster as well, and that can (indirectly, and with a bit of luck) help identify root causes. That was what happened with me, and I'm forever grateful to support groups.

In my case I was an adult child of narcissistic parents (ACoNs)[1] and I struggled with C-PTSD[2] all my life (I self-misdiagnosed myself many times with depression, autism, younameit) and I'll live with it forever. In a twisted and perverse way, I think drug abuse and addiction—with all the indirect suffering they caused—also saved my life. If it weren't for drugs, literally wouldn't have had any coping mechanism whatsoever. So, in cases like mine quitting cold-turkey means that the withdrawal symptoms just compounded compounded with our emotional dysregulation.

Also I want to finish with this: I am really glad you managed to turn your life around and quit using. I'm happy that you took steps to improve your life, and as cheesy as it sounds: I'm proud of you! Thank you for sharing your story; I know talking about these things isn't easy.

Stay strong!

[1]: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Narcissistic_parent [2]: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Complex_post-traumatic_stress_...

edit: wordsmithing

Re: I'm an addict

#467

Post by LimitedInfo »

ceronman wrote: post #465

I identify myself with many of the things mentioned in this post. I am an addict too. Here is something that has helped me to improve things a little bit. This is of course 100% anecdotal and it might not work on anyone different than me, but here it is anyway: Initially I also used focus mode and different kinds of blocking apps to try to control my addiction. I configured them to block HN, reddit, lichess, twitter,…

interesting tip thank you

Re: I'm an addict

#468

Post by thomastjeffery »

padobson wrote: post #358
thomastjeffery wrote: post #178

Earlier quoted context omitted.

In context, your reply sounds like a negative take, but I find it rather positive. I've always found good fiction enlightening. There is no need to be so serious about it. My biggest criticism of religion is the very boundary drawn between fiction and scripture: that adherents to a religion must treat fiction as if it is reality. All too often, that means obsessing over obedience to a structure of rules/dogma, instea…

like voting to restrict gay marriage so God will bless our country Do we know how this is going to play out, though? Has matrimony between same sex couples ever been widely available in any civilization? Rome, Greece, China and Egypt all had various different approaches to open homosexual relationships overtime, but it's hard to find any significant civilization that broadly equated same sex unions and heterosexual m…

If no one has tried it yet, it might be worth being the first one.

From what I can tell, the only group claiming to know what will happen in the future are religious conservatives who want gay marriage outlawed. It's their claim that homosexual unions will lead to a bad societal outcome, and that claim is based purely on religious dogma.

Re: I'm an addict

#469

Post by maerF0x0 »

alex_suzuki wrote: post #430
katzgrau wrote: post #193

Earlier quoted context omitted.

They're just cliche ideas for how to fill the time. Anyone one who tries to break an addiction suddenly finds themselves with a lot of free time they don't know how to fill. But on that note, have multiple kids AND get a pet. You'll never have a free minute again.

I would strongly argue against having kids as a solution for any of life‘s problems. Kids are an incredibly demanding venture and can exacerbate existing problems. Speaking from experience here.

> for any of life‘s problems

I understand it was hyperbole, but I would suggest one possible application of having and throwing everything you've got at raising children[1] to help with aimlessness/meaninglessness/purposelessness. Particularly when they're your own the common experience is your instinct/genome takes over and you'll find great imperative to do things you couldn't do for yourself. I learned about this concept from Jordan Peterson who also notes it works with pets[2]. For any bit of resentment about how the world has treated you, pouring yourself into someone else can at least give the solace that for them they will not suffer as much as you have, or at least not in the same insanity producing cyclical way as you had.

[1]: (technically can also be someone else's like foster, adopt, church, mentor, nephews/nieces) .

[2]: he talks about how people more frequently fill prescriptions for pets than for themselves.

Re: I'm an addict

#470

Post by thomastjeffery »

hn_version_0023 wrote: post #312
thomastjeffery wrote: post #178

Earlier quoted context omitted.

In context, your reply sounds like a negative take, but I find it rather positive. I've always found good fiction enlightening. There is no need to be so serious about it. My biggest criticism of religion is the very boundary drawn between fiction and scripture: that adherents to a religion must treat fiction as if it is reality. All too often, that means obsessing over obedience to a structure of rules/dogma, instea…

> My biggest criticism of religion is the very boundary drawn between fiction and scripture: that adherents to a religion must treat fiction as if it is reality. Agreed. This is the part that really gets under my skin… its been my understanding for most of my life that the bible specifically is full of allegory , not history . Yet, so many many of the “believers” I encounter don’t know what “allegory” means. The bibl…

Often it's because while they may "know they're full of shit", they won't admit it to themselves.

Being able to think critically of religion means being agnostic or atheist.

My assertion is that it's not you who is paralyzed, but anyone who cannot criticize their own position.

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