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Ask HN: Are you ok?

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Re: Ask HN: Are you ok?

#461

Post by mikelyons »

jethro_tell wrote: post #425
mikelyons wrote: post #421

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Its stressful for me because I'm running out of youth and I'm never going to find a mate :( The women just aren't attracted to a guy like me, or aren't interested in starting a family so much as poly-amory, drugs, revealing festival costumes, junk media, sex work, alcohol, or anything other than using their youth and looks for hedonism. Edit: Obviously touchy, people actually have thoughts like this, how do we loving…

What? I can't tell if this is a joke, but what does that have to do with your job?

Why work? Why live? Why do anything at all?

Re: Ask HN: Are you ok?

#462

Post by mikelyons »

gadders wrote: post #459
mikelyons wrote: post #421

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Its stressful for me because I'm running out of youth and I'm never going to find a mate :( The women just aren't attracted to a guy like me, or aren't interested in starting a family so much as poly-amory, drugs, revealing festival costumes, junk media, sex work, alcohol, or anything other than using their youth and looks for hedonism. Edit: Obviously touchy, people actually have thoughts like this, how do we loving…

Every cup has a saucer, mate. You'll find someone.

I love this.

Re: Ask HN: Are you ok?

#463

Post by uwuhn »

codesushi42 wrote: post #428
mikelyons wrote: post #421

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Its stressful for me because I'm running out of youth and I'm never going to find a mate :( The women just aren't attracted to a guy like me, or aren't interested in starting a family so much as poly-amory, drugs, revealing festival costumes, junk media, sex work, alcohol, or anything other than using their youth and looks for hedonism. Edit: Obviously touchy, people actually have thoughts like this, how do we loving…

The women... aren't interested in starting a family so much as poly-amory, drugs, revealing festival costumes, junk media, sex work, alcohol Yeah, it can't be you , it must be them . Back to the topic. This is what I hate about the tech profession: how it perceives women. It is not healthy.

You should definitely find a new employer if your current environment is reflective of the comment that you were responding to. I can't even imagine working somewhere like that.

Re: Ask HN: Are you ok?

#464

Post by Qworg »

tasogare wrote: post #318
Qworg wrote: post #263

Earlier quoted context omitted.

As someone who had a less than ideal PhD experience, while exiting ABD feels like a failure in the near term, the long term impact is very low, unless you're desperate to remain in academia. In short, you don't have to take the abuse - I'd look to change major professors.

Yep I want to stay in academia but I'll probably try to sell my own products one day. I could change lab I think, but I'm not guaranteed that the situation will be better elsewhere. Heck, on the paper this lab is exactly focus on the kind of stuff I want to do.

"not guaranteed that the situation is better elsewhere" - almost certainly it couldn't be worse.

Labs change focus all the time, even without describing it to the world. Why else would they have bumped your research?

Re: Ask HN: Are you ok?

#465

Post by 100-xyz »

I think modern life has torn the social fabric apart. There have been numerous studies on loneliness and a sense of alienation recently. A solution could be more face to face interactions. Junior needs to put down the phone and play with real friends. So does Senior.

https://its-near.me - Connect with people and events nearby

Re: Ask HN: Are you ok?

#466

Post by mikelyons »

mikelyons wrote: post #421
GuB-42 wrote: post #391

As a software developer myself, I always wondered why it is considered a stressful profession. - Most of us aren't going to kill ourselves or others in case we screw up. The stakes may be higher for people working with safety critical systems, but such systems often have multiple safeguards. - Most deadlines and time pressure are completely made up. So what if we don't deliver on time? It is not like the fate of the…

Its stressful for me because I'm running out of youth and I'm never going to find a mate :( The women just aren't attracted to a guy like me, or aren't interested in starting a family so much as poly-amory, drugs, revealing festival costumes, junk media, sex work, alcohol, or anything other than using their youth and looks for hedonism. Edit: Obviously touchy, people actually have thoughts like this, how do we loving…

We're on a thread about a suicide prevention campaign, but people still don't have the sobriety required to handle the thoughts that drive it.

Re: Ask HN: Are you ok?

#467

Post by oh-moses »

Zhyl wrote: post #430
GuB-42 wrote: post #391

As a software developer myself, I always wondered why it is considered a stressful profession. - Most of us aren't going to kill ourselves or others in case we screw up. The stakes may be higher for people working with safety critical systems, but such systems often have multiple safeguards. - Most deadlines and time pressure are completely made up. So what if we don't deliver on time? It is not like the fate of the…

The short answer is "Management". Management is the different between you being given ample time to do a straightforward or decently challenging task, and being given a ridiculously small amount of time to do something impossible. Management is the difference between you being supported in the work that you do and you feeling like you're on the edge of a precipice with potential freefall if you slip up. Management is…

> Management is the difference between your work seeming like its a valuable contribution to a bigger picture, or that it's a pointless sisyphean exercise in futility cynically driven by profit or ignorance.

Wait, this one is an objective property of the product you're working on, right?

Re: Ask HN: Are you ok?

#468

Post by benj111 »

chucksmash wrote: post #400
benj111 wrote: post #149

Earlier quoted context omitted.

It's not just imposter syndrome. Theres reasonable concern that a company doesn't want to have to deal with illness/someone that cant hack it. I personally wouldn't want to make myself an outlier with this question, so I too would answer 3.

I guess you could approach it that way. I definitely treat job interviews that way (e.g. try not to be negative about a previous employer, even if it is justified). If I were in a situation where I felt like I needed to approach interactions with my manager this way lest they try to screw me, I don't think I'd be interested in staying in that kind of environment. I guess some folks have overriding priorities where th…

I wouldn't say it's antagonism or anything like that, just as you aren't antagonistic towards the gear in your alarm clock. Nevertheless if the gear started playing up, you'd get rid of it without a 2nd thought.

Obviously this is filtered through (emotional) humans, and job roles have differing fungibility, but the corporation doesn't really care about you except perhaps where it benefits itself.

Re: Ask HN: Are you ok?

#469

Post by agentwiggles »

llampx wrote: post #447
Waterluvian wrote: post #393

I recently experienced months of sleeping problems. Where I wouldn't sleep for days. Or would sleep a few hours. I would be exhausted and my head would hit the pillow and BAM adrenaline and I can hear my heart pounding and I'm awake. It got so bad I would go into the basement and destroy a wall that I kept repairing. I would cry in frustration. I started to have suicidal thoughts. It was harming my marriage and made…

A few months ago I read that the best way to relax for a programmer type of brain is actually video games. That made me go out and buy an Xbox so I could play Doom and other mindless games to wind down.

Man, Doom 2016 is an astonishingly good video game. It's rare to find games that so thoroughly accomplish exactly what they set out to do. I finally got around to playing through it about a month ago and I'm very excited for Doom Eternal in November.

Re: Ask HN: Are you ok?

#470

Post by algaeontoast »

akhilcacharya wrote: post #8
algaeontoast wrote: post #3

Not really, I’ve been looking for work for about three months after my team at a FANG was let go due to a legal fuck up by my boss. I’ve been leetcoding but have only passed 3/7 tech screens only to be ghosted for the on-site after a pass or passed up after the on-site. Starting to question if I was ever creative or really good at this profession - but don’t think I’m skilled enough or have the energy to do my own st…

Which prior company? I could swing a referral for you if it wasn't Amazon.

May or may not have been a startup acquired by AMZN, and my team was all let go via PIP before we could transfer internally. Not sure if this is common practice or just bad faith to do damage control around our boss' mistake?

Thanks for the offer though, means a lot.

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