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What If You Could Do It All Over?

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Re: What If You Could Do It All Over?

#451
post #388

Earlier quoted context omitted.

He often uses false dichotomies to advocate his views, for example, the left is against freedom and liberty, you have to decide if you are for the Gulag Archipelago society or a capitalistic society etc; as if they were the only two possible options. I can possibly sift through YouTube to get to the videos where he claims these things, but it will not be the most palatable of chores.

Having just gone through and looked up a bunch of articles criticizing Jordan Peterson (Most of them seem to be written by Matt McManus, so I guess he's trying to make some sort of name for himself by association), it seems to me that basically the people who like Peterson like him for his life advice and the people that don't like him don't like him because of his political and philosophical views. I guess it seems…

> I guess it seems completely unremarkable that someone would have useful things to say in one regard while having less useful things to say in another.

No, he has a long established pattern of attracting a crowd by talking about basic self-help and then sneak in politically charged ideas like https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cultural_Marxism_conspiracy_th... , "people are lobsters", and plenty of sexism.

> I view him in the context of a university professor who wrote a book and has some lectures online, not in the context of the mega-celebrity he became.

You can't pick and choose the context: a person is responsible for they say in public.

Besides, even as a university professor a person is responsible for speaking honestly.

> being catapulted to fame ... muddy their message quite a bit.

No, he was playing the same tricks since the beginning. There are a lot of old videos on youtube.

Re: What If You Could Do It All Over?

#452

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I can tell you that you’re way more prepared to be a parent a decade later. Bodies be damned.

Also a good point, trade offs all around to consider! I had mine in 30 to 35 range, but if I could go back in time and had found my spouse, I think I would have opted to have them in 25 to 30 range. However, no one in my social circles has kids in their 20s and barely anyone is married by 30 so we also may have been socially isolated if we had chosen to do that. But I try to think back to what I did in my 25 to 30 ra…

You can't have kids when you are in your 20s if you are a man who cannot find a woman willing to date you who also wants to have kids while you are in your 20s.

The bottleneck is the same as it is for any issue regarding children.

The prospective mother must be willing.

Re: What If You Could Do It All Over?

#453

It’s worth thinking about how we measure how “good” a life is and if that is superficial and too much influenced by fashion. For example the cliche is go travelling or get rich starting a business. “I raised kids” doesn’t have the same boastworthyness in a lot of circles, but arguably it’s more interesting. Or maybe not. What’s the life well lived metric?

Raising kids is the "default" choice. More than 50% of people do it. Getting rich or traveling for your life are much rarer, hence more interesting Edit: ah yes downvotes. Think about it this way. You meet someone with 6 fingers on each hand, kinda interesting right? Minutes later you meet someone with 5 fingers, also interesting?

Sure it depends on you audience though.

Re: What If You Could Do It All Over?

#454
post #289
post #217

Earlier quoted context omitted.

This isn't as uncommon a path as you might believe. I was enlisted in the USAF from 2005-2010, spent months and months Iraq and Afghanistan etc. I have a $500k house with a literal fig tree in my backyard now. I don't assume people in my position or better had an easier time just because they went to college. One of my best friends is a Physics PhD from an Ivy League and he's a complete wreck so, it doesn't necessari…

I have a hard time believing that a computer scientist or engineer from a top school will not have an easier time gaining admittance into software engineering than someone not. Anyone not will always have a proverbial hill to climb. I would agree that continued success has diminishing returns from a degree. This is often the argument for designing interviews that reflect real world work. That said, my point was reall…

>I’d be interested in knowing the statistics on veterans in Silicon Valley and tech in general.

I’ve met quite few while living in the Bay Area. I moved to Austin a few years ago and there are even more of us here. You and I have made some similar choices in life though. I enlisted in 09 and got into tech after returning from Afghanistan as well.

Re: What If You Could Do It All Over?

#455

Earlier quoted context omitted.

This reminds me of David Goggins talking about how he wanted to "do better than God's chart." https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3fx1mGhTXdg

Whenever I get annoyed by the relentlessly banal life lessons of Goggins, I remind myself that his audience is mostly made up of troubled teenagers who took their latest shower 3 weeks ago and middle-age professionals of some sorts who cannot close their trousers anymore because of additional calories brought on by family life.

I actually think Goggins's ideas are the opposite of banal. The concept of "limbic resistance", as brought up by Andrew Huberman when talking about Goggins, is really fascinating [0].

The concept that doing things that you hate doing is "exercising of the muscle of willpower" is very revealing. It's something I've tried to do adopt, and it's been a very powerful motivator in getting me to work out and reduce procrastination. As banal as it may sound — like the father in Calvin and Hobbes saying "it builds character" — it's also a great way of framing it.

And I assure you I'm neither a

> "troubled teenager who took my latest shower 3 weeks ago"

or a

> "middle-age professional of some sort who cannot close his trousers anymore because of additional calories brought on by family life".

Your comment doesn't paint you as a very positive person. Of course, it's fine if you'd like to be that way, but my question is: why? What good does writing a comment like this do you (or me, or anyone reading it)? To me, these sorts of despondent and cynical comments seem to come from the very types of people you think listen to Goggins.

[0]: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ujz29rQvDvA

Re: What If You Could Do It All Over?

#456
post #273

I am in my early 20s and in my first job.This thread is eye-opening.I am gonna pay my loans,quit the job and build (or start) something.I didn't know if it's the right thing to do.But after reading this thread,I feel like I am in the right path.Thanks to everyone for sharing their thoughts.

I'm also in my early 20s. Don't quit your job. Your job is stability. If building/starting something doesn't work out then you'll be in a bad position. Build/start something on the side, then if it becomes successful you can safely quit your job. You might also find inspiration, collaborators or opportunities from your job. It's not all bad.

Thanks! I am building something on the side and I'll quit my job only if the side project gains some traction. Also finding a job is not that tough in my area.

Re: What If You Could Do It All Over?

#457
post #279
post #273

I am in my early 20s and in my first job.This thread is eye-opening.I am gonna pay my loans,quit the job and build (or start) something.I didn't know if it's the right thing to do.But after reading this thread,I feel like I am in the right path.Thanks to everyone for sharing their thoughts.

I am glad you are attending to your calling, but do take time to analyse everything - pros and cons - before making any rash decisions.

Yes sure! I don't have any responsibilities at this age.So there can't be a better time than now to try things out.We (I) have the energy ,time and "freedom" required to do something crazy.I might lose some time and energy but there can't be a better time than now.So we (I) should keep building things and learn a lot.Many millionaires wish they started earlier[1].I already regret wasting my college years.So I don't wanna "miss out" this time.Thank you everyone for your advice

[1]https://entrepreneurshandbook.co/heres-what-these-20-million...

Re: What If You Could Do It All Over?

#458

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Whenever I get annoyed by the relentlessly banal life lessons of Goggins, I remind myself that his audience is mostly made up of troubled teenagers who took their latest shower 3 weeks ago and middle-age professionals of some sorts who cannot close their trousers anymore because of additional calories brought on by family life.

I actually think Goggins's ideas are the opposite of banal. The concept of "limbic resistance", as brought up by Andrew Huberman when talking about Goggins, is really fascinating [0]. The concept that doing things that you hate doing is "exercising of the muscle of willpower" is very revealing. It's something I've tried to do adopt, and it's been a very powerful motivator in getting me to work out and reduce procrast…

I hate to contradict you, but I am being told I am quite a positive person who's helped many people on their journey to become more accomplished people. I did and I am doing quite well academically, professionally, and athletically. And I became accomplished by doing the exact opposite of what the Goggings, that other lunatic of Jocko Willink, Tim Kennedy and the Army, Navy Seals "influencers" recommend (I hope you are understand they are no different from the tik-tok dancers in terms of their ultimate motivation: money, spotlight, followers). In particular, I became accomplished by enjoying what I was doing, not f-this, f-that, let's run for 30 miles with the hips close to the ground (Goggings) shouting nonsense at our (poor) partner who is filming from the car. How can you listen to that guy if not for the occasional laugh at the lunacy?

Why someone who is not a troubled teenager (and all these influencers were troubled teens) or a middle-age disappointed man (the message is always for men, where are the women?) should wake up at 4:30 am to do squats, bjj, or running? There is no reason whatsoever if you are not in one of those buckets. It is counter-productive, it is silly, it is kicking oneself in the genitals to tell their troubled internal voice: see, I can hurt myself, I can take it, I am strong. What an insecure, troubled way of approaching life!

Why someone should give up on things and actions that have been pleasurable since the dawn of times for all, say, normal people? I am thinking, and these are all hated by the military influencers, about a glass of wine, an escapade, a sudden decision that is not joining the Navy Seals, a night out with friends that ends at 4 am (not staying up late shooting other people, a favorite of Goggins and Willink. Yes, to give them a better future, I know. I have always found funny that men join the military at 17 because they, as they never forget to repeat, want a better world, which is always also what the US want, a terrific coincidence).

"The concept that doing things that you hate doing is "exercising of the muscle of willpower" is very revealing. It's something I've tried to do adopt, and it's been a very powerful motivator in getting me to work out and reduce procrastination." - That's terrible (long-term, short-term anything can work) advice, outside the tails (like people who hate showers, kids who hate calculations, middle-age men and women who hate small portions). Why not working toward enjoying the run, the squats, the learning? Why not "following" people who have a sense of lightness around them, who are "fun" to be around while being accomplished, instead of these soldier-philosophers who seem always pissed and look incapable of not putting a life lesson even in the broccoli they had for dinner? Let me give you an example: I don't like exercising in the morning, it often gives me an headache, I tend to go hard and it tires me out more than I like during the day, I prefer to workout after 5 pm (like many other people). Now, tell me: why should I do "something I hate to exercise my willpower", instead of— listen to this insight—exercising after 5 pm?

"What good does writing a comment like this do you (or me, or anyone reading it)?" - There is no big vision behind my comment; but since I have seen one too many people buying into this "hard-man for hard times" trope, I would like them to read my cynical comment and say to themselves: they (i.e., me) are right, I am not a troubled teenager that the Army can straighten up, I am not a disappointed man who needs to be radicalized by these early-risers lunatics, I am better than that.

Re: What If You Could Do It All Over?

#459
post #429

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Odd. I'm at a positive vote count. Did I say something controversial?

The whole threads critical of him are now flagged and grayed out...

yep, group think is as strong here as anywhere on reddit or facebook

Re: What If You Could Do It All Over?

#460

Earlier quoted context omitted.

What I don't like about this quote is that it pretends you just have to choose between all these attractive and worthwhile goals and that the choosing is the difficult part. In reality though you may opt for a career, leave the family but fail. Or you may put your career on a lower pitch only to have your wife and you decide it won't really work out. In reality, it's more like you start to climb for a fat purple fig…

No, you can't. I'm in my mid 50s. I can't go back and change my decision (non-decision decision) to not have a family. I wanted one. The choices I made or the chances that came by depending on how you look at it got me where I am today. Mid 50s. I'm not going to birth kids. I'm also not likely to be able to change my career to anything that requires 10-15 years of study before I can get a good position in that career…

I agree with you, that is why I said, maybe you can still reach for another. Maybe not. If things turn out differently than you though, happiness is still about how you deal with the fig you got, either on purpose or not.
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