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How can an introvert Asian engineer like me make friends?

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Re: How can an introvert Asian engineer like me make friends?

#441

Post by ColdHawaiian »

Do you have a hobby? Something that you like to do for fun? Hobbies that you can share with other people are a great way to make and keep friends. You might even find a girl friend through a hobby.

Your hobby can be anything. For me, it's dancing. For other people, it might be video games. Take your pick. There are a lot of cool things to do out there in the world. Go out there and explore, meet people.

For example, Polaris is a YouTube network of people who generally like to play video games: https://www.youtube.com/user/Polaris. It's a bunch of friends (and business partners) who all share a love of video games and games in general. So even something like video games can be a vehicle for making friends (and meeting girls), if that's your thing.

Re: How can an introvert Asian engineer like me make friends?

#442

Post by dnautics »

crimsonalucard wrote: post #395
dnautics wrote: post #40

Earlier quoted context omitted.

After I quit my job as a scientist, I drove for lyft, and got lots of offers to hang out with passengers. So I said no a lot (needed the money, driving is donezo one you've started drinking). Now, I consider it and hang out with passengers every once in a while. I've got to be selective, as a 30-something it might not be all that fun hanging out with 20-somethings in a bar in certain parts of San Diego... I would hav…

Do you make more money driving for lyft? Why did you quit being a scientist to essentially become a cab driver?

I'll refer you to this thread:

https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=7880440

Re: How can an introvert Asian engineer like me make friends?

#443

Post by dnautics »

nerfhammer wrote: post #399
dnautics wrote: post #40

Earlier quoted context omitted.

After I quit my job as a scientist, I drove for lyft, and got lots of offers to hang out with passengers. So I said no a lot (needed the money, driving is donezo one you've started drinking). Now, I consider it and hang out with passengers every once in a while. I've got to be selective, as a 30-something it might not be all that fun hanging out with 20-somethings in a bar in certain parts of San Diego... I would hav…

Is there a spread between the price of renting a car and lyft income?

I don't recommend trying to monetize this margin.

Re: How can an introvert Asian engineer like me make friends?

#444

Post by mountainhill »

jonnathanson wrote: post #173

Here is a lesson I've learned the long, hard way after 30 years of being a strong introvert: it's not how or where you meet people that counts. It's how you stay in touch. Look around you. Every day, in every situation imaginable, there are hundreds of ways to meet people. There really are. You could strike up a conversation with a stranger on a subway. You could ask for some advice from the girl ahead of you in line…

I'm a Chinese in China.I think your word "Friendships are like pets" is right and warm.It helps me a lot.Thanks!PS:my english is poor,maybe make some wrong words,sorry for that.

Re: How can an introvert Asian engineer like me make friends?

#447

Post by bjliu »

hyunwoona wrote: post #2

I had to use Google Docs because my text exceeded 2000 characters. I apologize.

When I read this, I was really hit because I was the same way my entire high school life. So this topic makes me very emotional and I'm saddened by your story. No one should experience the loneliness you're experiencing...I'm sorry. But I think you're definitely not alone in this area--many computer science students feel the same way. Many people have mentioned making yourself respected, doing activities, etc...these things help but a relationship is two-way. To make a friendship work, you really just have to be other-centered: thinking about other before yourself, actively remembering someone's name, actively listening to people. One good book to check out on this very topic is "How to Win Friends and Influence Others" by Dale Carnegie. And if you want you can email me :)

Re: How can an introvert Asian engineer like me make friends?

#449

Post by anondog »

crimsonalucard wrote: post #390
anondog wrote: post #355

Earlier quoted context omitted.

This is the $64,000 question and I actually believe there might be a business (or several) to be had in this space. As people increasingly forego marriage and pursue solo lives and careers, they need more alternatives for support and camaraderie. (And these people have disposable cash.) Anyway, as it stands, I think the best option is to try to work at a place with other young, career-oriented (as opposed to family-o…

Good points. As I've gotten older I've gotten lonelier and I've been searching for the sort of bonding and friendships I experienced as a college student. As superficial as the friendships were, the friendships were in general less superficial then all the friends I made outside of college. I'm not so sure why the whole experience suddenly ends when people step out of college. I'm positive it has nothing to do with a…

Brilliant point about the retirement homes. I'd never thought of them that way.

Re: How can an introvert Asian engineer like me make friends?

#450

Post by xmodem »

song wrote: post #240
xmodem wrote: post #171

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Apologising for everything you do doesn't look good. Stop it. Don't apologise unless you've genuinely fucked up.

That's actually a very cultural thing. But yes, I agree, in the US, apologising too much comes off as weak and so it should not be done often. This is why while it's acceptable and necessary in some cultures to apologize in advance, or to apologize for small things, in the US, it's better to only apologize when it's really for something big.

I'd go as far as to say it applies to most english speaking countries
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