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Should more of us be moving to live near friends?

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Re: Should more of us be moving to live near friends?

#441

Post by phil21 »

odyssey7 wrote: post #435
phil21 wrote: post #417

Earlier quoted context omitted.

It simply creates an even more privileged knowledge worker class. I recently spent a lot of time in some more rural parts of the US. There is rapidly growing resentment over this topic. It came up nearly daily in casual conversation/overheard at bars/etc. It might be good for 5-10% of the population, but at what cost to social cohesion? These were certainly not CEO type of folks, and they were not terminally on-line…

I grew up in a rural area, where everyone has a southern accent, which sounds like nothing but music to me. My relatives tend to live next to expanses of farmland, as I myself previously lived for years. Although I’ve recently moved to the city that’s about 45 minutes from where I grew up—-due to a return-to-office policy and also managing to use years of experience to land a solid software job in my home state—-I re…

Yes, if I moved back to my home town and spent time around my family and friends I also would be welcomed since I’m not an outsider.

I’m not talking about people who previously had roots that came back home as a wayward son. Those people, including me, will get a pass as we are one of the good ones. Especially (and maybe only) so because we’ve kept up relations and close ties over the interceding years and we are currently few and far between.

However, I’m fairly confident in my sampling bias on this one. I am close enough to people where they are willing to talk freely and the tenor is not great. Perhaps I simply have a bubble of especially negative folks, and maybe your area of the country is different. There was already a large current of resentment towards the white collar professionals prior to covid and I can only say that it’s accelerated quite a bit since. I only recently was able to spend considerable time around places like where I grew up.

We are not generally a single generation away from “moving away from the farm” at this point in the country. Many are generations removed. And it doesn’t need to be absolutely middle of nowhere either on this one. If you’re a curiosity for the area you typically won’t have an issue. It’s when you hit a critical mass of “haves” vs the “have nots” that the problems spring up. And many folks resent the people who don’t have to “work for a living” sitting at home all day. It’s about a shared experience and “in this together” feeling that most knowledge workers will simply not endenger.

Re: Should more of us be moving to live near friends?

#442

Post by qnleigh »

CMCDragonkai wrote: post #436
grumpy-de-sre wrote: post #212

Earlier quoted context omitted.

In Anglo cultures kids aren't usually moving away from home until they are at least ~18 years old. This is not a factor in teenagers feeling isolated. Suburbia and the decline of third places probably play a far greater role in this demographic. It's a common trope on here to lament on how the Anglo cultures don't value family ties strongly enough. I'd argue not overly valuing family ties has been a big competitive a…

I think coliving is going to come back into vogue.

I wish it would. Perhaps it will with rising costs of living and housing.

Re: Should more of us be moving to live near friends?

#443

Post by grumpy-de-sre »

refurb wrote: post #431
nox101 wrote: post #278

Earlier quoted context omitted.

what is your definition of "high trust society". I don't consider the USA a high trust society having lived in Japan and Singapore. In Japan and Singapore, I trust that others won't steal my stuff. I trust that I won't be mugged. I trust that my packages won't be stolen. I trust that my car will not be broken into. In the USA and Europe I trust none of that. I've had cars broken into 5 times, bikes stolen 5 times, ca…

Having lived in Asia I disagree it's a "high trust" society. I also see it described as "less individualistic and more concerned about the group". What I observed was a deference to authority. Harsh government punishment for anti-social behavior is accepted and seen as the "role" of the government. While people in Anglo countries might protest against unfair government action, in Asian countries it's much more rare.…

Yeh Japan surprised me in that trust survey, perhaps the question didn't translate well. On a general basis they seem to trust each other even less than most western nations.

Very hard thing to measure.

Re: Should more of us be moving to live near friends?

#444

Post by Wytwwww »

DragonStrength wrote: post #281
Wytwwww wrote: post #275

Earlier quoted context omitted.

> Both are based on anecdotes and vibes, not reality. To me, it's all narcissism of minor differences I think most are thinking about a higher proportion of adults living at the same household as their parents in some countries when they say that. However in recent year the proportion in the US got a lot closer to Latin American countries. Then again it probably significantly varies by race, ethnic background etc. wh…

You’re coming across as disagreeing with me, but it’s unclear about what. Your response to the out-of-context bit at the bottom seems to agree with my central statement about the negative framing of American values in the OP, so I’m very confused what your point is.

> but it’s unclear about what.

True. Looking back you hadn't really made any coherent enough arguments in your comments that could be agreed or disagreed with.

Re: Should more of us be moving to live near friends?

#445

Post by lazide »

bluGill wrote: post #298
lazide wrote: post #238

Earlier quoted context omitted.

More $$$ is a strong motivator. Latin American tends to be unsafe (physically), but the money probably plays a bigger motivating factor. Remittances and ‘doing it for the family back home’ are common themes.

The children of that immigrants are growing up and seem to have less concern about the cousins back in the old country - their home is the US as are all their friends. The people back in the old country are interesting but not really relevant.

Same as it ever was. Not a lot of Irish, Norwegian, English, French, Germans still keep in contact with ‘home’ after 2-3 generations either.

Re: Should more of us be moving to live near friends?

#446

Post by protomolecule »

toasterlovin wrote: post #352
motorest wrote: post #348

Earlier quoted context omitted.

> "anglo cultures" already had quite a lead before WW2, hard to miss that the previous superpower was the British Empire. I think you're trying too hard to muddy the waters by creating a definition for "anglo" that does not match reality or any use of the term. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Anglo-Americans Even within "European Americans", nearly half has an ethnic origin that is classified as German, not English. An…

A few points: - German and other NW European cultures share the family atomization characteristic of Anglo-Americans - Anglo as a term stems from England. England is named for the Angles, a Scandinavian/Germanic tribe that invaded Britain a long time ago. The term Anglo-American reflects the seminal English influence on American culture. - The English and their descendant culture, America, basically invented the mode…

>The idea that WWII is why America is on top is a-historical.

How so?

Re: Should more of us be moving to live near friends?

#447

Post by namaria »

stackghost wrote: post #372
motorest wrote: post #241

Earlier quoted context omitted.

> It's a common trope on here to lament on how the Anglo cultures don't value family ties strongly enough. I'd argue not overly valuing family ties has been a big competitive advantage of the Anglo cultures for centuries, eg. moving for opportunity (improved social mobility), ability to connect with outsiders, couple pairing across cultural/geographical boundaries, prerequisite to a high trust society, etc. That line…

>It boils down to "everyone might be miserable, but someone else is getting rich so it's good." Aren't Scandinavian people statistically the happiest? That's not anglo culture.

Isn't the suicide rate highest in Scandinavian countries and lowest in South Europe?

Re: Should more of us be moving to live near friends?

#448

Post by Retric »

motorest wrote: post #241
grumpy-de-sre wrote: post #212

Earlier quoted context omitted.

In Anglo cultures kids aren't usually moving away from home until they are at least ~18 years old. This is not a factor in teenagers feeling isolated. Suburbia and the decline of third places probably play a far greater role in this demographic. It's a common trope on here to lament on how the Anglo cultures don't value family ties strongly enough. I'd argue not overly valuing family ties has been a big competitive a…

> It's a common trope on here to lament on how the Anglo cultures don't value family ties strongly enough. I'd argue not overly valuing family ties has been a big competitive advantage of the Anglo cultures for centuries, eg. moving for opportunity (improved social mobility), ability to connect with outsiders, couple pairing across cultural/geographical boundaries, prerequisite to a high trust society, etc. That line…

US had world’s largest economy well before WWII. It initially took first place in 1880 before going back and forth until 1900 when to firmly took the lead for a century. https://education.cfr.org/learn/reading/how-did-united-state...

It was a huge country with lots of natural resources like oil, gold, coal, etc.

Re: Should more of us be moving to live near friends?

#449

Post by achierius »

xocnad wrote: post #425
diordiderot wrote: post #378

Earlier quoted context omitted.

In the American South community is as easy as picking a church and going to your kids public school sporting events. Are there problems, of course, like all societies. But it's easy and it works.

This presupposes both an interest in religion and organized sports.

At least w.r.t. the latter point, you shouldn't need to be interested in sports to be interested in your kid's sporting events. Spoiler: nobody likes t-ball, but they do like their kids enough to go to the t-ball games anyways.

Re: Should more of us be moving to live near friends?

#450

Post by sebbu »

For me it's mostly a money issue. Then I'ld lose contact with my family and friends, so I'ld have nobody guaranteed to help if i have issues. Also, moving (far) requires a lot of money, then finding a new job, maybe even a better one than you had since the cost of living might be higher in the new place.
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