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No one expects young men to do anything and they respond by doing nothing (2022)

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Re: No one expects young men to do anything and they respond by doing nothing (2022)

#441

Post by jazzyjackson »

bryanlarsen wrote: post #193
jazzyjackson wrote: post #163

Earlier quoted context omitted.

immigrants come because they have no better choice that's called exploitation

No it's not. We're offering additional choices to the immigrants, all the moral blame lies on the people who are persecuting the immigrants so much that they are forced to flee. Yes, we often exploit illegal immigrants, but legal immigration is not exploitation.

given the context of paying less than what residents are willing to work for I assumed we were talking about undocumented folk, in which case i would say moral blame lies with bosses willing to pay under the table

Re: No one expects young men to do anything and they respond by doing nothing (2022)

#442

Post by Fire-Dragon-DoL »

pwthornton wrote: post #440
Fire-Dragon-DoL wrote: post #408

Earlier quoted context omitted.

1-2% of having permanent pain between my legs sounds like an ENORMOUS amount

You aren’t escaping life without pain. I torn my quad last year, and then one of my kids did a butt stomp right on that knee joint as I was lying on the ground. Any minor residual vasectomy pain is the least of my concerns.

That's an ACCIDENT, not a decision.

Re: No one expects young men to do anything and they respond by doing nothing (2022)

#443

Post by jjk166 »

RandomThoughts3 wrote: post #348
jjk166 wrote: post #322

This whole article is talking about absentee fathers, but every example is listing why the mother left or kicked out the father. Nowhere in the article is mentioned the obvious common denominator - women are no longer utterly dependent on their husbands. People didn't stay together more often in the 50s because the couples were better, or because people were held to higher standards, it was because getting out of a t…

> This whole article is talking about absentee fathers, but every example is listing why the mother left or kicked out the father. Because the article takes the very rational and supported by the article side that these mothers were actually founded in kicking them out. > The article also simply takes for granted that it's a bad thing that these nuclear families do not stay together. No, the article goes much further…

> It points out that upper-class and middle-class people like to pretend and promote that the nuclear family doesn't matter while themselves acting like it does.

Rich people say you don't need a yacht. Yet, rich people buy yachts. Clearly yachts are very important for becoming and staying rich, and the wealthy are undermining the poor with their "yachts are a luxury" posturing.

It is to be expected that people encountering different circumstances would adopt different behaviors. That well-off people are more likely to live in a nuclear family does not mean living in a nuclear family is the reason they are well-off, nor does it mean that people in worse circumstances would be better off if they made the same choices.

Re: No one expects young men to do anything and they respond by doing nothing (2022)

#444

Post by nikanj »

Doches wrote: post #229
nikanj wrote: post #200

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Being emotionally available, participating in chores, providing a comfortable lifestyle while not working all the time, being reasonably well-read and good conversationalist, etc. Have you not noticed how much more we expect from men as partners? NB I’m not saying we shouldn’t expect more from them. I’m saying many are seeing the list of demands, and opting out of even trying

> Being emotionally available, participating in chores, providing a comfortable lifestyle while not working all the time, being reasonably well-read and good conversationalist, etc. I...honestly cannot tell if this is meant ironically. Those things seem like table stakes for being an adult. It's not "expecting more of them" to simply expect people to...grow up, and help care for the other people in their lives. You w…

Are you saying we used to always expect men to do all of the above, or do you agree with me that we ask more from men than we used to?

Re: No one expects young men to do anything and they respond by doing nothing (2022)

#445

Post by codeforafrica »

rramadass wrote: post #325

A lot of this is only applicable to Western Societies. IMO this is entirely due to the breakdown of Family and Social structures in the name of so-called Freedom/Progress. When you have no Structure/Discipline imposed on you by Society/Culture your Freedom of Choices become too much to handle and you simply give up and choose nothing.

I see more single mothers here in Africa than i have ever come across in western countries. Lack of work leaves men unable to care for their family causing them to simply give up and walk away, leaving the mothers to fend for themselves. I see no supportive structures, discipline or culture to counteract that.

I haven't been here long, so my impressions are not founded on a lot of experience, but it looks like what is happening is that the villages are unable to sustain themselves forcing people to leave the village and seek their fortune elsewhere, which causes just as much of a breakdown of family and social structures as it does in the west.

Re: No one expects young men to do anything and they respond by doing nothing (2022)

#446

Post by im3w1l »

surgical_fire wrote: post #323
im3w1l wrote: post #210

Earlier quoted context omitted.

> Same as it always was. I feel like it's an industrialization thing. Before industrialization people would farm their own land, set up their own shops etc. Sure there would be people above you, but they wouldn't and couldn't micromanage you. The peasant surely didn't have morning standups with their lord.

> farm their own land Peasants didn't have "their own land". All land belonged to the aristocracy, and you would farm the their land.

But the aristocracy didn't micromanage that, is my point. Unless you were a slave I guess?

Re: No one expects young men to do anything and they respond by doing nothing (2022)

#447

Post by relaxing »

smegger001 wrote: post #413
hnthrow289570 wrote: post #320

Earlier quoted context omitted.

>What are the rising standards though? If you're on a dating app, that's one impression of the dating pool, so it's no wonder some dudes take the 6'0"+, $100k+, abs or gtfo lists seriously And if you are wondering why they are being heavily influenced by that, gestures to article

Its not wrong the 80/20 rule applies to the dating apps in a real way, a small minority of males on them sweep the majority of matches and anyone not it the upper quartile may as well not even apply. When your part of the 80% of males in compilation against eachother for the lower 20% of matches it can be daunting. You can choose free porn, play games, drink, and hang with friends or fight the constant rejection, and…

Oh gtfo. No woman is desperate enough for food to put up with shitty dates. They have shelters for those cases.

Re: No one expects young men to do anything and they respond by doing nothing (2022)

#448

Post by bluefirebrand »

jjk166 wrote: post #322

This whole article is talking about absentee fathers, but every example is listing why the mother left or kicked out the father. Nowhere in the article is mentioned the obvious common denominator - women are no longer utterly dependent on their husbands. People didn't stay together more often in the 50s because the couples were better, or because people were held to higher standards, it was because getting out of a t…

> the world has changed, mostly for the better

This remains to be seen, honestly

There are an awful lot of unhappy men out there and they are going to boil over eventually

Re: No one expects young men to do anything and they respond by doing nothing (2022)

#449

Post by endofreach »

portpecos wrote: post #366

> Amy, a white thirty-year-old mother of three, ages six, five, and three, had a boyfriend who worked steadily but insisted on spending on selfish pursuits. This is what eventually broke the young couple up. ‘He wouldn’t spend money for the kids’ food. I had to send my kids across the street to my mom’s to feed them and stuff. That’s what I got fed up with. I shouldn’t have to live like that…I said it’s time for him…

[flagged]

Re: No one expects young men to do anything and they respond by doing nothing (2022)

#450

Post by d0mine »

bufferoverflow wrote: post #272
lordnacho wrote: post #66

I think I see where he's coming from, and it makes sense to me. But where is the evidence that expectations have changed for young men? A paragraph or two with examples would be useful. It is of course a bit nebulous to try to define "expectations on young men" so I'm willing to go with some sort of essay that presents the evidence.

You can poll young women for what they require of young men to date them. Plenty of content of that on YouTube. It's not nebulous.

https://www.tiktok.com/@girl_on_couch/video/7363742421588512...

a grain of truth in every joke

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