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I thought I’d have accomplished a lot more today and also before I was 35 (2020)

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Re: I thought I’d have accomplished a lot more today and also before I was 35 (2020)

#441

Post by alkonaut »

hans1729 wrote: post #101
alkonaut wrote: post #93

Isn't life merely thinking you'll accomplish something big in the future when you are young (from by a bias that shows people accomplishing grand things more than others), and then basiclaly being too busy just living for a couple of decades, and finally accepting that merely living is accomplishment enough? This panic over accomplishment must be a cultural phenomenon. I can't relate. Is there a wide group of people…

>This panic over accomplishment must be a cultural phenomenon. Economic pressure. Look at the housing market and the dystopian reality of our political processes, social divide, etc. -- TONS of people feel like they need to become free by means of economic accomplishments. This is even more so the case in countries without universal healthcare etc. It's coming down to Maslow. If you work in tech, chances are you're s…

I think that's probably the cultural difference. When I think "accomplishment" coming from a country with a large social safety net, I'm thinking self-realization (writing a book, climbing everest, reaching the olympics, founding a company, making a scientific discovery) - but accomplishments in this case are independent from economic security. In fact, in order to accomplish I'd probably have to give up some of my economic security.

Meanwhile in my case, sending my kids to college or paying for day care is a non issue, even on a low paying job. Getting a nice degree, even a PhD isn't an issue (because higher education is paid for and PhDs are paid positions - but not one you take for future economic gain).

So if I want to maximize my economic security and worry about house prices, then I have to accept that I probably need to give up the thought of personal "accomplishment" of the Everest kind, and Instead I'll just work 40h a week and raise a family.

Re: I thought I’d have accomplished a lot more today and also before I was 35 (2020)

#442

Post by robbedpeter »

basq wrote: post #413
shard wrote: post #385

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I despair at the modern trope of dismissing something of worth due to a person's thoughts/actions in an unrelated area (in modern parlance, "cancelling" someone). It seems like an ad hominem attack to me. How will this trend evolve in the future? Will the works of people like Beethoven, da Vinci, Einstein be cancelled due to them being meat eaters? (Substitute someone of equal stature if the people listed are actuall…

true words spoken by a false man, makes them false.

Well, no. That's what thinking is for. To separate words from their source and consider them for their content. A reading of Principia Mathematica by Hitler doesn't tarnish or invalidate the words in any way. Context matters.

Basing judgment on the source of an idea isn't a perfect tool for navigating life. If someone is telling you lots of true things but in a way to compromise you, or to sell you something, or to get you to join a cult, then who that person is provides valuable context.

If you want a system, Peterson has a ready-made and inoffensive set of rules to play off of. It has a built in technique to improve on the rules that doesn't compromise your ability to think about new material (whereas scientology or other religious systems cripple you deliberately.) Identifying a collection of true things is the point, and then looking for good faith operators willing to share their model of successful behavior.

Robbins is a typical self help guy, and the value is there, but to me it's been most useful as a baseline against which to measure other systems. Robbins represents the line of hucksterism for me, where if you're playing with those ideas and presentation techniques you might not be legitimate. I think he's mostly just over that line on the side of authentic, but he often falls short.

Re: I thought I’d have accomplished a lot more today and also before I was 35 (2020)

#443

Post by mensetmanusman »

ectospheno wrote: post #291
slowroll wrote: post #277

Earlier quoted context omitted.

It sounds like the idea of “the universe has no plan for you” really didn’t help considering you needed therapy

I’ve found that therapy is a bit like minecraft in that the people knocking it have almost certainly never tried it.

Therapy is what happens in a third place (https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Third_place)

So few moderns have a third place now, that they pay people to take that role.

Re: I thought I’d have accomplished a lot more today and also before I was 35 (2020)

#444

Post by sjg007 »

sillysaurusx wrote: post #279
teamtestbot wrote: post #274

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Man, I feel like I skipped those Middle Years and went straight to living my life one meme at a time after college.

All of 4chan did. It seems optimal for most people.

This is basically what Fox News does. Meme of the week or month.

Re: I thought I’d have accomplished a lot more today and also before I was 35 (2020)

#445

Post by TurkishPoptart »

xtracto wrote: post #394
verisimilidude wrote: post #373

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Serious personal tragedy can compress the middle phase into a very short period of time. Comedy is born where hope dies. Devastating disease or injury, a long jail sentence, a ruinous lawsuit, living through a war, etc. Most of the quick routes to lifelong wisdom are not desirable.

For me it came not long ago (just starting my 40s): A film I was just watching had a great quote: "The universe isn't evil but it sure has a nasty sense of humour: I found the person I should am meant to be with, but I can't be with her" Something vaguely similar happened to me: I suffered from a very strong cronic IBS-C for 20 years, since my University time. Around January 2022, I found a real cure for this 20 year…

I'm sorry to hear that. That's why I never got any "boosters" - there's no long-term safety data whatsoever.

Re: I thought I’d have accomplished a lot more today and also before I was 35 (2020)

#446

Post by kafkaesque »

cl42 wrote: post #271

The young man, who does not know the future, sees life as a kind of epic adventure, an Odyssey through strange seas and unknown islands, where he will test and prove his powers, and thereby discover his immortality. The man of middle years, who has lived the future that he once dreamed, sees life as a tragedy; for he has learned that his power, however great, will not prevail against those forces of accident and natu…

This is similar to Soren Kierkegaard's stages of life theory, which he was fine-tuning 130 years earlier

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Philosophy_of_S%C3%B8ren_Kierk...

Re: I thought I’d have accomplished a lot more today and also before I was 35 (2020)

#447

Post by stocknoob »

deckard1 wrote: post #314
stocknoob wrote: post #269

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Thank you for writing this. There’s an insidious motivation that you have kids for what they can give you (“solve my meaning problem!”) vs what you can offer them. If you gamble on kids giving you meaning and they don’t, now what?

If you go out searching for meaning, you're not going to find it. "Is this meaning?" you might ask, for every choice or circumstance you face. The answer will always be "no". Because you can analyze anything to death. Poke holes in any situation and find some reason it's not full of "meaning". Finish a big project at work before the deadline? "Is this meaning?" Obviously no. The big project won't impact the mega-cong…

I think I get your point, and to thread the needle:

If you look for external sources of meaning (big house, cars) are really just looking for validation. You want others to think of you a certain way.

But if you genuinely enjoy cars, and driving/working on them puts you in a flow state, that’s great.

Most people suffer a lack of engagement at work and should retire to work on what they actually enjoy. If Miyazaki enjoys his art (he enjoys it in the average, looking back, glad he did it after all, like exercise) then of course he should continue. A rich, bored retiree is miserable because they realized they were chasing external validation, which is truly hollow, and can now begin the process of doing what is internally meaningful to them.

Asking whether something is meaningful, in your heart of hearts, lets you sidestep decades of chasing the wrong goal.

Re: I thought I’d have accomplished a lot more today and also before I was 35 (2020)

#448

Post by 8bitsrule »

cl42 wrote: post #271

The young man, who does not know the future, sees life as a kind of epic adventure, an Odyssey through strange seas and unknown islands, where he will test and prove his powers, and thereby discover his immortality. The man of middle years, who has lived the future that he once dreamed, sees life as a tragedy; for he has learned that his power, however great, will not prevail against those forces of accident and natu…

Fatalism. Likely? that we're ants in an antfarm in which the course of every sand-grain, every ant, every molecule in the zephers is decided?

Observation destroyed that deist clockwork universe. There's no comedy in the catastrophic death of 100,000 people, in one man starving in the midst of plenty. We can do better, we can care for and feed and respect one another, as well as the worms. That's meaning we're empowered to create. Not for laughs but smiles. However humble, that is by far the more interesting experiment. And then when our moving finger moves on, no 'Piety nor Wit Shall lure it back to cancel half a Line.'

Re: I thought I’d have accomplished a lot more today and also before I was 35 (2020)

#449

Post by DoingSomeThings »

powersnail wrote: post #419
DoingSomeThings wrote: post #418

Earlier quoted context omitted.

A small note - This podcast with Amanda Litman of "Run For Something" was inspiring for me. I know you aspired to make big change. But I wonder if running for a local political office would help scratch that itch? Those roles have direct impact on the lives of your neighbors, and don't have to be full-time gigs. There's whole orgs that provide resources to help make it happen. https://www.nytimes.com/2022/02/01/opini…

Actually, I really do plan on running for something once I'm eligible! (Currently on a visa, though)

Glad to hear that! Best of luck! If that ever happens and you remember this message, DM me. I'll throw some cash your way :)

Re: I thought I’d have accomplished a lot more today and also before I was 35 (2020)

#450

Post by hattori31 »

basq wrote: post #413
shard wrote: post #385

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I despair at the modern trope of dismissing something of worth due to a person's thoughts/actions in an unrelated area (in modern parlance, "cancelling" someone). It seems like an ad hominem attack to me. How will this trend evolve in the future? Will the works of people like Beethoven, da Vinci, Einstein be cancelled due to them being meat eaters? (Substitute someone of equal stature if the people listed are actuall…

true words spoken by a false man, makes them false.

If a part of person is false, doesnt mean everything is false. If you cheat on your wife doesn't mean you never loved her. Mistakes are part of being human.
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